Why Fish Don't Exist: A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life

Written by Lulu Miller

Narrated by Lulu Miller

A Best Book of 2020: The Washington Post * NPR * Chicago Tribune * Smithsonian

A “remarkable” (Los Angeles Times), “seductive” (The Wall Street Journal) debut from the new cohost of Radiolab, Why Fish Don’t Exist is a dark and astonishing tale of love, chaos, scientific obsession, and—possibly—even murder.​

“At one point, Miller dives into the ocean into a school of fish…comes up for air, and realizes she’s in love. That’s how I felt: Her book took me to strange depths I never imagined, and I was smitten.” —The New York Times Book Review

David Starr Jordan was a taxonomist, a man possessed with bringing order to the natural world. In time, he would be credited with discovering nearly a fifth of the fish known to humans in his day. But the more of the hidden blueprint of life he uncovered, the harder the universe seemed to try to thwart him. His specimen collections were demolished by lightning, by fire, and eventually by the 1906 San Francisco earthquake—which sent more than a thousand discoveries, housed in fragile glass jars, plummeting to the floor. In an instant, his life’s work was shattered.

Many might have given up, given in to despair. But Jordan? He surveyed the wreckage at his feet, found the first fish that he recognized, and confidently began to rebuild his collection. And this time, he introduced one clever innovation that he believed would at last protect his work against the chaos of the world.

When NPR reporter Lulu Miller first heard this anecdote in passing, she took Jordan for a fool—a cautionary tale in hubris, or denial. But as her own life slowly unraveled, she began to wonder about him. Perhaps instead he was a model for how to go on when all seemed lost. What she would unearth about his life would transform her understanding of history, morality, and the world beneath her feet.

Part biography, part memoir, part scientific adventure, Why Fish Don’t Exist is a wondrous fable about how to persevere in a world where chaos will always prevail.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio
• Release date: Apr 14, 2020
• ISBN: 9781797106045

Lulu Miller

Lulu Miller is the cohost of Radiolab, host of the kids podcast Terrestrials, and author of the bestselling book Why Fish Don’t Exist. 

Reviews for Why Fish Don't Exist

[Pete Clark · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Driving the vehicle of David Starr Jordan’s life, the author comes to what I found as the high point in this book (because I am not really seeking love advice at this point in my life):
Even though some non-human animals are faster than us, stronger than us, able to see farther and identify colors better than us, able to make and use tools, and have bigger brains than us, yet we have labeled them in a way that allows us to freely trap them, cage them, extract labor from them, slaughter them inhumanely, and even eat them. The author discusses how the practice of eugenics also allowed humans to do the same things to other humans.

At the same time I was reading this book, I was also reading “the 1619 project,” which describes how even more inhumanly — if that’s possible — white Europeans were doing the very same things to non-whites. Non-white bodies were put on display like fish in the market so they could be bought and sold. They were descaled and disemboweled and gutted just like fish. Some people even tried to remove them from the lexicon — just like fish.

There were times at the beginning when I thought I would put the book down, but near the end I could not.A wonderful debut novel!

[srinit · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

An amazingly executed book. Not only do you get to learn about Jordan, the “fish”-namer, but you also get learn about Lulu, her life, her journey towards self-acceptance and surrender to life’s inherent groundlessness, and her call to arms and inspiration for the rest of us still going around so surely, but self-deceptively, that fishes exist (or even this book! - you’ll see what I mean after you’ve finished the book). The last chapter is a beautifully, intricately woven meditation - so poetic! It’s Zen.

Possibly the best book I’d have read/listened to in 2020. And I hope it is for you as well.

[krystyna mysiak · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Poor quality audio. Kept skipping and finally received an error

[Lane Willson · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This young lady can write! Don't let the science scare you, because it's just an excellent cover to tell some great tales.

[Natan Krain · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

WOWWW JUST READ IT OR LISTEN TO THE AUDIOBOOK !

[Dundee Cantu · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Half memoir half biography half scientific journalism. A great book

[Juanita Eslava · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Extremely well written. Moving and engaging.
It's great for all ages. I did not only enjoy the parallel stories but all the background on eugenics.

[louisa_sevillano · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

So incredibly well written. Poignant, fascinating, funny, and at times, gut-wrenching. It reminds me of the warning to never meet your heroes. At first the author builds her pedestal and puts her hero on it, then it slowly crumbles as she learns more about him. It’s full of fascinating, little-known history. Definitely adding this one to my physical library!

[R S · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

There is so much to say about this book, but let me start with the audiobook recording first. It was read by the author and I thought she did amazing. I was thinking throughout the book that if she was not the one that recorded it, she sure gave it a lot of meaning.

This is a book I will re-listen to in the future, maybe when I need to feel normal. The book revolves around the author’s search for meaning through the life a scientist that always persevered and showed grit despite many tragic losses in his life. I was immediately roped in because I have had to push through my own struggles. I have always been the underdog and I just had to know. While we learn about the grit of the scientist, David Star, we also learn more about the psyche and person of David Star. We learn that science is ever changing. We learn a little startling history about America.

I learned, that I like being the underdog/realist. I learned that sometimes the universe delivers karma. I learned there is no such thing as fish.

[Beatriz Mioto · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Amazingly brilliant. I have loved every single second of it. This book is what i needed to get out of my reading slup, and it is just so relatable to me because I am to obsessed with fish and everything ocean relateded as well as mental health and LGBT.
Adored it and will be my most favorite of the year for sure.

[Shantal Marshall · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

As a big fan of podcasts, I have to say that the writing being so much like a podcast made me love it. Although there weren’t guests officially I still felt like I was listening to interviews with experts when they were quoted. Although the author’s and David Starr Jordan’s lives could not seem more different, I appreciated the connections Miller made…in just the basic connections we want to make with people, alive or dead, who we feel might have something to teach us. And in a time when we want to make individual people into heroes or villains, she does a good job of presenting Jordan as what we all are: complicated. Though I’m now convinced we should dig more into the potential murder that is laid out in the book!

[dandiercks · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I was originally drawn to this book after hearing an interview with its author, Lulu Miller, on NPR’s 1A program. I heard her mention David Starr Jordan, a 19th century biologist and former president of Indiana University and Stanford University. Having earned two degrees from I.U., I knew Jordan’s name well since the biology building there is named for him and the “river” (more like an often-dry creek) running through campus is the Jordan River. The story Miller told in the interview recounted the destruction of Jordan’s immense fish collection, much of which he had discovered and named. And this wasn’t the only time his collection bit the dust. So those facts drew me to the book. However, I soon found that Miller is a gifted, and I mean really gifted, writer whose style is likely to be a writing style unlike anything you’ve encountered in fiction or nonfiction. The book was a joy to read. I didn’t intend to learn so much about classifying nature. And, at the age of 70, I didn’t expect to learn so much about life. But I did on both counts, and I thank Miller for that.

[Margaret Cartwright · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Just as I was losing a little faith in the book there’s such a great twist. The author clearly conducted in depth research, a really well written book that is light, informative and engaging .

[Shirley Wright · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Intrigue, learned some new concepts and opened my mind to new ideas & possibilities

[Natasha · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

An interesting book; I learned quite a bit from it.

[Cameron Maddux · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Fish don't exist. You really want to know why, and this is the place to find out. Plus so much more. A personal journey, some important history, and a dab of science

[Dick Jordan · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

It’s incredible and loved how close it hit home. I’m a creature teacher who studied reptile taxonomy in grad school so I connected. An awesome story that has its surprises but you come away with hope. Best book I’ve listened to in ages so my hard copy is on the way.

[hamilton envelope · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A profound intricate labyrinthine love story, the most peculiar of sorts benched in science history extending to poetry somehow. It does not stop revealing and revealing the facets of its brilliance again and again, chapter after another. It’s almost a conundrum how Miller manages to bring together all these seemingly unrelated strands (heartbreak, taxonomy, eugenics, raining diamonds, grit, absence of a supposed species, true love?) and have them coalesce wondrously throughout and to the very end. It’s engaging, and generous, each line of enquiry forthcoming in a kind of curious slight of hand that makes you understand without knowing why you don’t know something, your belief systems or some such. I feel inspired and very glad I’ve had the chance to be a listener of it, and might just go back to the very beginning right now and listen to it again. It’s like a very good poem. Wow.

[fdser654 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wonderfully written and read. Lulu's radio chops shines through this whole read, its such an easy and enjoyable listening experience; Head and shoulders above any audiobook I've had the pleasure of listening to on this platform in terms of keeping the listener interested and engaged with the subject matter at hand. The pictures you paint with your words make it so easy to start listening and so hard to stop, I went through the entire thing in a day! Thank you Lulu for giving us this gem, and for being willing to be vulnerable and share so much of yourself in this way. It must have been terrifying, but if it's any solace, this book has helped me immensely. Existential dread is something I've suffered with for as long as I can remember. Your articulations herein have greatly helped soothe some of this anxiety I've felt for so long. Thank you for that.

[Heather Hronek · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I almost gave up in the middle but I was really glad I stuck with it. I picked it up in the mood to read a 19th century biography, and I had some initial discomfort about how much I was reading about the author. I ended up finding a lot I could relate to, and the second half of the book was great. Kudos to the author for her personal growth and for writing something our society, with its high suicide rates, really needs--a thoughtful, honest exploration of her attempt to find meaning after a suicide attempt.

[George Szmaj · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I had no idea about the research on fish how it is now no longer a category. I had no idea about the suspicion of the president of Stanford University killing stanfords widow I had no idea that the Supreme Court ruled that sterilization of handicapped is legal and that Hitler’s path of a master race was founded here in America
I simply enjoyed learning so much.

[Roger Day · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Far-reaching enlightening, charmingly written. The book contains in-depth research on the remarkable taxonomist David Starr Jordan interweaved with painful personal history. Every chapter brings astonishing turns deeper into details and outward to broad questions about life, feelings, science, philosophy. The writing is informal and lively. I would recommend the audiobook. And it has charming extras at the end.

[Karen Randall · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Smart, clever, interesting, science, great story. I was totally charmed.

[Anna Ko · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I loved it! The plot is actually quite different from what I’ve expected it to be, but it turned out to be greater than my expectations. It’s a beautiful mix of memoir, biography, taxonomy, philosophy of life and… perhaps some chaos on the top of that.

[Athena · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The few first few chapters I found fascinating yet I started wondering what was going to be the point of this book. Dear reader, I encourage you to stick with it because there are so many amazing and wonderful points. Not to mention Lulu‘s fantastic talent at setting the scene and her descriptive, creative writing on a non-fiction topic. This is one of the best books I’ve ever read!

[Andie Hansen · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This book completely changed my life. I have never cried harder or felt sadder while reading a book, and it needed to happen. And it will keep happening. Life is really sad sometimes, but then it gets better. And then it's sad again, but it gets better. And on and on. This book is a meditation on learning to accept the contradictions and bleakness of life, and a promise that you will once again find joy.

Thank you to the author and the publisher. We're all in this together.

[Dillon Mulhern · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Amazing, truly a mind shifting book that weaves Millers experiences with the lessons of a fish fanatic

[Nadja · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Make sure to listen to the last second, it is N absolutely adorable way to finish.

Overall a very interesting story which pierces deeply through a lot of preconceived notions and straight into the heart of the matter. The experience is even more special since it’s read by the author.

The only reason I didn’t give 5 stars is because listening about white men doing stupid things is tiring. This is not on the author - she is amazing.

[Marc-Andy Noel Jeune · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Good. Concise and very interesting. I like the title very much

[Jasmine Belle McGowan · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Wow, not what I was expecting the book to be about but wonderful nonetheless