The Lover’s Dictionary

Written by David Levithan

Narrated by Jot Davies and Cassandra Harwood

How does one talk about love?

buffoonery, n.

You were drunk, and I made the mistake of mentioning Showgirls in a near-empty subway car. The pole had no idea what it was about to endure.

In this enchanting compendium of Love, David Leviathan charts the moving portrait of a relationship.

Starting with…

aberrant, adj.

'"I don't normally do this kind of thing," you said. "Neither do I," I assured you.'

…David's words fit together to create a beautiful and compelling story, encapsulating all aspects of a relationship and giving a name to the everyday struggles they entail. Through these short entries, he provides an intimate window into the great events and quotidian trifles of being within a couple, giving us an indelible and deeply moving portrait of love in our time.

arcane, adj.

It was Joanna who noticed it first. We were over at her house for dinner, and she said something about being able to see the woman across the street doing yoga in the mornings, and how strange it looked when you were watching it from afar.
"So how is Miss Torso doing?" you asked.
And I said, "Perhaps we should ask the pianist."
Joanna just looked at us and said, "It used to be that you each had your own strange, baffling references. And now you have them together."
People often say that when couples are married for a long time, they start to look alike. I don't believe that. But I do believe their sentences start to look alike.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
• Release date: Feb 3, 2011
• ISBN: 9780007421176

David Levithan

David Levithan was not born in France, Milwaukee or Olympia, Washington. He did not go to Eton, Harvard Law School or Oxford University. He is not the author of War and Peace, Hollywood Wives: The New Generation or The Baby-sitters Club #8: Boy-crazy Stacey. He has not won the Newbery Medal, the Pulitzer Prize, the Bausch & Lomb Science Award or the race for eleventh-grade vice president. He currently does not live in Manhatten.

Reviews for The Lover’s Dictionary

[angelacinva · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed this book quite a bit. While at times it had me laughing out loud, it was also a poignant look at pain and betrayal. The format, a dictionary of terms related to love defined by episodes in a specific relationship, was interesting. It disrupted the narrative flow of the story, but I still got a sense of the ups and downs of a relationship over time. I liked the way certain scenes repeated in different definitions, each time showing a different aspect of the experience. I got a real sense of the lingering and recurring strain that one partner’s cheating can have on the relationship. I also liked the way that Levithan shows the ups and downs of being a couple but that with commitment to stay together it can work. I wasn’t blown away, but it was an enjoyable read.

[akmargie · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

There's no easy way to describe Levithan's style. It's not a hard style to read, his writing is fluid, emotive and highly lyrical. He walks the line of pretension and overblown prose but never crosses. I have never found myself rolling my eyes and thinking "come on" while reading his work. He's also refreshingly succinct. He never wastes a word, a phrase, a sentence. There's more power in that than the ramblings that ruin a great many books, especially books about love. And he's an honest writer. He never lets his characters apologize for their feelings, or attributes them to some lofty ideal or prolong rumination about some unrelated observation about the human condition. He's just great.

[jakehlyn · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The Lover's Dictionary is a sweet, moving relationship story told in an interesting and unique format. I was really surprised I how much I enjoyed this book and that I connected with the characters given that the entire story is told through short, anecdotal entries of alphabetized words. But somehow Levithan makes it work and creates a lovely little novel that's worth visiting more than once.

[abbylibrarian_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Poetic. Funny and heartbreaking. And most of all, poetic.

[indygo88 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a quick read, easily done in one or two sittings, written in dictionary format. In it, the reader catches little snatches of the relationship & dialogue from the writer's (man's) point of view. It's very original & although you see only little pieces of the writer's relationship, it does give a fairly realistic picture. Somewhat hard to describe, but very moving.

[esquetee_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Heard about this book in a few different places, found it on the New Books shelf at public libraryAfter reading so much magic realism, I think the only way I could have enjoyed a regular old troubled love story was to find it wrapped up as a dictionary. Levithan simultaneously apologizes for the weaknesses of the form while also showing off its strengths. There is a story here but that takes second billing to the snapshots created by each "entry" - it's like reading a collection of postcards that the writer has sent to himself over a period of two years. He has shuffled the postcards so they're all out of order, and now we're sitting on the living room floor flipping through them before they go back in their box. p. 120 "Trying to write about love is ultimately like trying to have a dictionary represent life. No matter how many words there are, there will never be enough." (from: ineffable)

[meganz_15 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I loved the short entries and the alphabetical arrangement. Levithan does a great job of telling a story by just giving pieces and the leaves the ending without a concrete understanding. Reading a book about love from the perspective of a man is always refreshing.

[jackieblem · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is an amazing book. It truly is told in the style of a dictionary--a word and then a short explanation of that word as it relates to the unnamed male narrator and his unnamed girlfriend. The "definitions" are sometimes a single sentence, sometimes a paragraph, a few are a page long. They are spare and poignant. I teared up at some, laughed at others, and experienced vivid memories about being in similar situations and having similar emotions. I re-read a lot of them because I loved the way he was able to describe an emotion or a moment--he really cuts to the heart of something with just a few words. The story in not chronological, which makes it a sort of puzzle to put together--a delightful puzzle. This isn't a happy story, nor is it a sad story--it's the story of two people in a relationship with ALL of its emotional currents. It's moving, brilliant, and a book I could not recommend more sincerely.

[lisahgolden · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

There were passages in this novel by David Levithan that I had to read aloud to my husband. There were passages I read and reread because they were so poignant or interesting or so fabulously written. There were passages that I wished I'd written or that, at the very least, I had the skill to see, to be that observant, to connect a simple act with something poetic. There passages that made me laugh out loud. There were passages that were like a mirror. There were passages like a punch to gut or a slap to the head. There were passages that left the bad taste of guilt on my tongue.

[readingdate · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

In David Levithan’s first book for the older than young-adult crowd, we follow the ups and downs of a relationship as told through short dictionary entries. The nitty-gritty of coupledom is explored from first meeting to moving in. This is a short and sweet chronicle of a relationship, and falling in love.I have enjoyed David Levithan’s writing in the books he has co-authored with Rachel Cohn and John Green. This is the first I have read that he has authored alone. His familiar writing style shines through in this book, and solidifies my admiration of his work. I also think the cover art suits this book perfectly with the words contained in a heart shape.The narrator is an unnamed male and the story is told in dictionary style from A-Z. One word per page is chosen and includes the parts of speech as in a dictionary. This becomes the starting off point to describe an event in the relationship. It is fun to read the creative words he chooses for each letter and see how the story relates. I even learned some new vocabulary words in this book.Starting out, I was not sure that it was going to be easy to follow the story in this format of short entries. However, the emotions and feelings of the characters come through well and the story works in this format. It is interesting that sometimes a new word entry will revisit or continue a scene discussed within a previous entry. At first I thought I was re-reading a page before I realized that the scene was expanded.The good, the bad and the ugly moments are included in this intimate look at relationships. The writing is observant and sharp in documenting the day-to-day life of adjusting to being a couple. I enjoyed this insightful, quick read and recommend it for fans of David Levithan’s books and fans of contemporary fiction. Although this book is written for adults, I found it shelved in the Young Adult section at the library. I urge you to seek out this moving and honest portrayal of love and relationships.

[sundancer_2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A gorgeous collection of raw, emotional poetry. Each dictionary entry is either read-it-again cute, read-to-your-spouse funny, infuriating or heartbreaking. The love story unfolds beautifully as you read scenes that happen out of order. The love between the writer and his girlfriend is so powerful, you can definitely tell they are soulmates. You get this in very few words at the very beginning. The tirals they go through are messy and complicated but moving and encouraging in how they deal with the pain.

[rubya_32 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I thought the concept of this book was well done. I really liked the idea of the "lover's dictionary" which redefines language through the spectrum of the relationship of these two distinct characters, or actually the narrator relating to an unidentified "you." I appreciated the feeling of being able to read the book in no particular order which effectively breaks down the traditional novel fomat. I liked the way in which each of the entries were well written and incisive and made me think. And yet, even as I can see why this book is a worthy one, as I was reading it, a part of me couldn't help but want it to end. There are various reasons for this, I believe. 1. our narrator was a deeply sensitive and interesting one, but he came across as self-indulgent at times. 2. As the novel progressed, it became increasingly clear that the relationship was not a particularly healthy one- she was an alcoholic, and he appears to suffer from fairly severe self esteem issues. Furthermore, a great "betrayal" is uncovered and the way in which the characters choose to deal with and "overcome" it seems glossed over to me. Throughout the course of the novel, there is no clear way in which they appear to overcome their (fairly serious) problems that I could see and so, sometimes the entries, as poignant as they are, fall a little flat to me. I think the point of the novel is to express the idea that love is so transformative, that it can define and redefine language and vice versa. And yet- the characters didn't seem bettered by their relationship. He is obsessed and clingy, and she seems selfish throughout. Perhaps the point of the novel is to express the ultimately fallible and personal and very human experience of love and I respect what the author is trying to do. Nonetheless some reason, his attempt seemed somewhat thin to me at times.

[tonile4helena · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

love, n.
I’m not going to even try.

Earlier this week I read the most exquisite novel. David Levithan’s The Lover’s Dictionary is an ambitious and perfectly executed love story about a relationship gone awry. What makes this novel completely unique is the unorthodox way in which the story is told. As the title suggests, it is a dictionary. Chronology dispensed, the reader uncovers the relationship step by step as we move through the alphabet. Readers who enjoy order and structure in your novels, beware: what would be a major turning point towards the end of a love story is revealed quite early, foreshadowing the trouble to come. If you can relax into the story, the lack of chronology is highly effective – you are aware of what will happen, yet certain ‘chapters’ or definitions describing the early relationship reflect the beautiful naivety of a new love. It’s bittersweet, really, like most love stories.

dumbfounded, adj.
I didn’t tell any of my friends about our first date. I waited until after the second, because I wanted to make sure it was real. I wouldn’t believe it had happened until it had happened again. Then, later on, I would be overwhelmed by the evidence, by all the lines connecting you to me, and us to love.

Another unique element of the novel are the nameless and seemingly gender-less characters. Levithan has written numerous works featuring gay male characters, so it is difficult to apply general heterosexual assumptions from the descriptions of the characters. In any case, it’s irrelevant. The narrator, highly likely a male, is a fairly logical and straightforward person who was raised in a caring and loving family environment. This element stands in stark contrast to his lover; an outgoing and chaotic individual with a drinking problem and complicated family history. Always an electric combination; however the initial intensity of “falling through the surface of want and deep into the trenches of need” rapidly burns out when the chaotic nature of the lover threatens to destroy their relationship.

fluke, n.
The date before the one with you had gone so badly – egotist, smoker, bad breath – that I’d vowed to delete my profile the next morning. Except when I went to do it, I realised I only had eight days left in the billing cycle. So I gave it eight days. You emailed me on the sixth.

As I read, I couldn’t help see parts of myself in the characters. I think that’s what makes it such an effective and touching novel; their idiosyncrasies, their thoughts, their actions – it’s all entirely relatable. At some point in our lives, we’ve all had too much to drink and said something we regret. We’ve all forgotten what our life was like without a certain person in it. We’re experienced the mad and passionate nature of a new love. And we’ve made decisions and poor choices that, at the time, seem impossible to recover from. We are imperfect beings, trying to do the best we can with the tools we have. I found myself nodding in agreement and wondering how Levithan had so beautifully put my own thoughts and feelings about love onto paper. Love is a fluke – it’s serendipity and chance rolled up into being in the right place and the right time. Some times it ends well, other times it doesn’t. But any love, good or bad, changes you. You learn more about yourself and cannot simply walk away from it unaffected. It builds you up, breaks you down, and has made you the person you are today.

ineffable, adj.
These words will ultimately end up being the barest of reflections, devoid of the sensations words cannot convey. Trying to write about love is ultimately like trying to have a dictionary represent life. No matter how many words there are, there will never be enough.

Levithan writes with a warm-hearted and mischievous tone, and in so beautifully writing about the eternal human condition, he has written one of the better modern love stories of late. On the front cover of the Australian paperback edition, Brendan Cowell has stated, “this book made me want to fall in love again.” I was optimistically cautious about his claim. How can words on a page (and so few words, at that) make you want to fall in love? I can’t explain it, and maybe that’s what makes it so magical. For all the ups and downs it involves, The Lover’s Dictionary reminds us of the beauty of love. The smiles, the warm feelings inside, the simple pleasure of having someone else in this world love you back. I’m convinced. I want to fall in love again. Maybe you will too.

[alexann_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Well-respected teen author David Levithan tries something different in this novel created from entries in a dictionary. First date? It was "aberrant" or they both behaved in an "aberrant" manner... How they met? On the internet--it was a "fluke"! "Flagrant"--"I would be standing right there, and you would walk out of the bathroom without putting the cap back on the toothpaste."Through definitions, Levithan tells the whole story--the little every day things of their love, the doubt when they feared it wouldn't last. A fast read, and a surprisingly affective one.

[whitreidtan · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I've read a few books written entirely in dictionary entry format and thoroughly enjoyed them so was curious to read this one about love and relationship. Just what words can explain love, make it knowable to people beyond the two involved together? Written alphabetically, the story is not presented in a linear fashion and the main characters are not named. The assumption is that the lovers are a man and woman (a pregnancy is mentioned once although whether facetiously or not is debatable). There are other small clues scattered throughout the text about the realities of the relationship as it develops, endures, stumbles, and ultimately ends. Some of the words Levithan uses to describe the couple and their life together are mundane while others are emotional. And the definitions illustrating each word can be surprising, truthful, and clever. The writing here is well done and smart but there's a distance in the narrative that makes it hard to connect viscerally with the tale being told, to share in the giddiness of new love or to share in the outrage of betrayed love or to experience any of the mountains or valleys between these two. The focus is entirely on the two unnamed characters together, not on history and so a complete picture of either of them never quite gells. And without a completeness in character portrayals, there can't be a completeness about their relationship either. A slight, quick read, this is very much a private rumination, thoughtful, and reflective but there's something missing, some part of the heart that would have elevated it from good to great.

[krissy724 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I really enjoyed this little novel. I first saw it at Borders, and thought it seemed interesting and different. I picked it up from my public library, and had it read in an hour. It’s short-only about 200 pages. What drew me to this “love story” was the originality of it. The story is told through letters of the alphabet. I laughed out loud at some of the parts. The writing felt real, like I was apart of the narrator’s relationship with his unnamed girlfriend. The story really made me think about all different types of relationships. It tackled the boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic perfectly, and also included relationships with family and friends.I recommend reading this book. It’s short, sweet, and real. It’s simple, and too the point. It’s a modern love story.

[tamara.murray · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I must buy this book!

[amaraduende · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Dictionary-style entries for all sorts of words, all relating back to a series of love affairs ("affair, n..."). Some very funny moments, some moments that make you reread and sigh.

[leirali · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Amazing, absorbing read. It took embarrassingly longer to read than it should have. So heartbreakingly real. Simplistic and complicated, both, at the same time. Just like love.

[dancingstarfish · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

“I spent all this time building a relationship. Then one night I left the window open, and it started to rust.”Alphabetical entries line the pages of this book in an exploration of love. Heartbreak, boredom, devastation, tenderness, pure contentment; every aspect of a relationship is explored in bite sized doses. When I first glanced at this book I wasn’t sure if definitions were enough to really create a story I would enjoy, but I admit I loved it from the first page.“You fell quiet, gestured for me to listen. The sound of the woods, the feel of the air. The wine settling in my thoughts. The sky, so present. And you, watching me take it all in. Naked to the world. The world, naked to us.”The smallest details of relationships seen to be examined with care and recorded according to their correct word. Annoying habits. Sweet silent exchanges. Fighting. Families. The feeling of being lost, even when you’re in someone’s arms.This little gem of a book is a must own for anyone who loves writing filled with beautiful imagery and eloquent moments. I am happy it has a place in my bookshelves.“Finally, I said. Its over.”

[fastaxion · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

How can you describe love? Is there any one word that can summarize it? David Levithan does exactly this in his book The Lover's Dictionary: A Novel, by using different words in the dictionary the character gives meaning to love not by the words definition per say but by the meaning each word conveys to a particular circumstance or feeling. Some of the entries in this book made me smile and others made me sad, love is only the accumulation of different words combined to depict a picture of a relationship such as is done in this case.

[mawls · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A fun fast read that undoubtedly everyone can relate to at one entry or another. Book is literally set up like a dictionary. One word per page with a description pertaining to love and relationships.

[ditzeedancr · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I love David Levithan! He once again shows off his amazing talent in this book. It will make you want to laugh, cry, and say "awwwwww". A must for anyone who is even slightly romantic. :)

[framberg_2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Levithan's most recent romance is slight, but I have a feeling I may revise my rating stars as the book grows on me (much as I did with Love is the Higher Law). This is a quick read, the story of a relationship told in dictionary entries, the brief entries revealing and obscuring the two individuals and their shared story. If the story were told in a traditional narrative format it would be ordinary, maybe even trite, but Levithan's creativity with format refreshes it and creates a level of mystery and poignancy that would otherwise be absent.

[jkienzle_2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

It's the story of a man meeting a woman and falling in love with her and moving in together told though dictionary entries. I thought it was a fun read (and very quick) though I found it hard to feel really invested in it. Also, I kept hoping the guy would break up with the girl--not sure why. Creative way to tell a story, though it felt more like a short story than a novel.

[melissarochelle_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Read on February 01, 2011I loved this book! It's a short, sweet story about a relationship, but it's written through dictionary entries. For example,autonomy, n."I want my books to have their own shelves," you said, and that's how I knew it would be okay to live together.The entries are in alphabetical order, but the story is not in chronological order. As you read, you piece together bits of the story and start to put the love puzzle together. Again, I loved it! I don't want to return my copy to the library! (But I will and then I'm going to go buy my own copy.)

[bookloverlucy · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A VERY quick read, but that certainly doesn't mean it's not worth it. One of the most realistic books I've ever read, which was surprising given the unusual structure (which by the way, I loved). Not only do you get to learn the definitions of a lot of unusual words (if you can be bothered to look them up like I did), but the little snapshots of this couple's life leaves you with a fuller idea of their personalities and their relationship than most typically structured, hundreds of pages long, novels. It was just real. So relatable, and never in a corny way. I've also been in the habit lately of writing all my favourite quotes or sentences in a book down in a notebook, and this one will surely fill a decent chunk of it. The content is not only interesting, realistic, and relatable, but it's also expressed so well, in such profound ways. It's simply excellent, and I loved it.

[mthelibrarian_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A fun, quick read around Valentine's Day.

[jennzee_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The Lover's Dictionary is a fast read. Because of how the book is set up, with one word and its following definition to a page, it's size is deceptive...I finished it in two sittings, during a lunch break and the following evening, as I couldn't wait to get back to the story. While it is a fast read, it is a good one. The narrative is full of rich and delicious moments, sentences that beg to be read out loud and over again, words that capture the feeling of falling for someone, pining for someone, wrapping your life up in someone else...and even having your heart broken. At first I was obsessed with knowing the characters--who is who, which one wrote which entries, all of that--but about a third into the book, when I had picked up on their voices a bit, I found myself just reveling in their story. Their story is simple, real, powerful and painful. We only get glimpses, moments, but it's enough to feel like it's a picture of two lives that have, for better or worse, become intertwined.Now, I feel like I would enjoy the book more reading it a second time. I would linger over the passages more, enjoy the phrasing, re-read the words that meant the most. Levithan has written an engaging book, one that I recommend whole-heartedly.

[thelibrarina · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Using brief vignettes arranged as definitions in a personal dictionary, Levithan paints images of moments in a shared life. Two young adults meet, date, move in together, and nearly(?) fall apart over the course of the story--it might sound banal, but Levithan's insights are trenchant, and his language at times utterly incandescent. By the end, the story is both universal and intensely personal; I imagine that everyone leaves the book with a different impression.The story is arranged in alphabetical order by the words defined--but these entries are not written in chronological order. The reader has to piece the timeline together, and with a few exceptions, I don't think there's a "wrong way" to assemble it. Is the ending happy or is it sad? It seems to be up to us. Even the gender of the narrator's lover, only directly addressed as "you," is never made clear.From ebullient to panoply, stymie to zenith, Leithan manages to express all the love, betrayal, and heartbreak of a relationship in very few words indeed. Recommended for any lover of language or romance.