Audiobook6 hours
I'll Be Seeing You: A Memoir
Written by Elizabeth Berg
Narrated by Elizabeth Berg
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
4/5
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About this audiobook
The beloved New York Times bestselling author tells the moving love story of caring for her parents in their final years in this beautifully written memoir.
Elizabeth Berg’s father was an Army veteran who was a tough man in every way but one: He showed a great deal of love and tenderness to his wife. Berg describes her parents’ marriage as a romance that lasted for nearly seventy years; she grew up watching her father kiss her mother upon leaving home, and kiss her again the instant he came back. His idea of when he should spend time away from her was never.
But then her father developed Alzheimer’s disease, and her parents were forced to leave the home they loved and move into a facility that could offer them help. It was time for their children to offer practical advice, emotional support, and direction, to the best of their abilities—to, in effect, parent the people who had for so long parented them. It was a hard transition, mitigated at least by flashes of humor and joy. The mix of emotions on everyone’s part could make every day feel like walking through a minefield. Then came redemption.
I’ll Be Seeing You charts the passage from the anguish of loss to the understanding that even in the most fractious times, love can heal, transform, and lead to graceful—and grateful—acceptance.
Elizabeth Berg’s father was an Army veteran who was a tough man in every way but one: He showed a great deal of love and tenderness to his wife. Berg describes her parents’ marriage as a romance that lasted for nearly seventy years; she grew up watching her father kiss her mother upon leaving home, and kiss her again the instant he came back. His idea of when he should spend time away from her was never.
But then her father developed Alzheimer’s disease, and her parents were forced to leave the home they loved and move into a facility that could offer them help. It was time for their children to offer practical advice, emotional support, and direction, to the best of their abilities—to, in effect, parent the people who had for so long parented them. It was a hard transition, mitigated at least by flashes of humor and joy. The mix of emotions on everyone’s part could make every day feel like walking through a minefield. Then came redemption.
I’ll Be Seeing You charts the passage from the anguish of loss to the understanding that even in the most fractious times, love can heal, transform, and lead to graceful—and grateful—acceptance.
Author
Elizabeth Berg
Elizabeth Berg is the award-winning author of more than twenty-five books, including the New York Times bestsellers True to Form, Never Change, Open House, The Story of Arthur Truluv, Night of Miracles, and The Confession Club. She lives outside of Chicago. Find out more at Elizabeth-Berg.net.
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Reviews for I'll Be Seeing You
Rating: 4.171428571428572 out of 5 stars
4/5
35 ratings6 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A bittersweet memoir about dealing with aging parents.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A sad and wonderful memoir, written as diary entries, of Berg and her sister convincing their parents to move from their house. Their father has the beginnings of Alzheimers, which is difficult for their mother to accept. This resonated so much with me because a friend, whose husband had the same symptoms, treated him just as badly. This must have been a hard, even if cathartic, book to write.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I always love Elizabeth Berg's books! This is no exception!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Elizabeth Berg’s I’ll Be Seeing You is, I can tell you from recent experience, an accurate reflection of what it feels like to watch a parent become less and less capable of taking care of themself over a number of years. If you are lucky enough to have a parent live into their late eighties and beyond, what Berg describes in this heartfelt memoir is inevitable. It is only a matter of time before child and parent are required to switch roles, and the formerly-protected becomes the protector. My favorite quotation, in fact, from I’ll Be Seeing You comes from the book’s prologue:“I think as long as a parent is alive, it’s easier to feel young. It’s easy to feel that in some respects you are still being taken care of, even when it becomes more you who takes care of them.”Berg takes the reader through almost a year of transition for her parents, October 2010-July 2011, during which they were forced to come to the realization that they could no longer live in the family home they had enjoyed together for four decades. As Berg and her siblings learned, however, realization comes a good bit before acceptance, and even after her parents have moved into an assisted living arrangement, they refuse to sell the family home because they still hope to return there someday. The experience that Berg describes is a very emotional one that was not helped by her father’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis. The author was, I think, somewhat surprised by her mother’s resentment that if not for her husband’s mental problems, she, at least, would still be living at home. As her mother found it harder and harder to hide her feelings from her children, they began to resent the way she was treating their father - even, it seems, to worry about whether she was taking proper care of their father. Things were said, feelings hurt, and relationships damaged. The sad part is that all of it was perfectly normal, maybe even healthy in the long run. Those who have not experienced this situation yet with their own parents - and those in that situation right now - can benefit from a memoir like I’ll Be Seeing You because they will see that what they are feeling, but may be reluctant to say out loud, is all very normal. It is part of the cycle of life that none of us like to think about, but it is something that more and more of us are going to experience. So why not listen to what those who have already been there have to say?I would have liked to hear more from Berg’s sister, the child who lived close enough to their parents to be their day-to-day caretaker. The author is quick - and she does it several times - to credit her sister as being the one who went the extra mile for their parents. And that is good to see. Having been the “local” in my father’s case, I know that that experience is a completely different one from the one those who live hours away have. And I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, because the years I spent in that role brought me closer, and to a better understanding, of my parents than I would have otherwise ever managed. If you see this coming into your own life soon, do read I’ll Be Seeing You. It will help.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I was comforted by this memoir dealing with the aging of Berg’s parents. It was comforting to know that what I’ve been feeling as I deal with my husband’s dementia is not that different from the experiences of others. I understood the anger and resentment of Berg’s mother. I understood how its difficult to express this anger appropriately. If you find yourself dealing with a spouse or parents who need to move into a safer place, this book is for you. I’m tempted to buy several copies to have on hand as gifts.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is a true story about the affect on a family during the progression of Alzheimers. Elizabeth Berg’s family had a lot to overcome when her father was diagnosed with Alzheimers. There were many changes that took place. They learned to overcome many challenges and to eventually depend on each other to help everyone cope.Elizabeth Berg did a wonderful job showing both sides of this disease. She wrote so eloquently about how it affected her mother as well as her father during the evolution of his illness. She did not pull any punches on how her family handled the tough situations. It is not easy and it plays a huge impact on the family unit.I received this memoir from the publisher for a honest review.