There Is No Dog

Written by Meg Rosoff

Narrated by Steven Boyer

Meg Rosoff counts the Michael L. Printz Award, the Guardian Children's Fiction Prize, and a Carnegie Medal among her impressive accolades. Praised as a ''cheeky and subversive fantasy fable'' by Horn Book, There Is No Dog explores the question ''What if God were a teenage boy?'' Bob created the heavens and all the creatures on land and sea, but every time he falls in love, natural disasters on Earth follow. So imagine his dismay when he falls harder than ever for an irresistible girl named Lucy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Recorded Books, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 24, 2012
• ISBN: 9781464048708

Meg Rosoff

Meg Rosoff is a hugely versatile novelist for children and adults and has won the Branford Boase Award, the Carnegie Medal, the Guardian Children’s Fiction Prize and the Printz Award. Her post-apocalyptic How I Live Now was made into a major motion picture starring Saoirse Ronan and Picture Me Gone was shortlisted for the National Book Award in the USA. Originally from Massachusetts, Meg now lives in London.

Reviews for There Is No Dog

[elliepotten · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book has such a fantastic concept that I couldn't resist picking it up. First, imagine that there is a God (if you're already a believer, bear with me). Now imagine that God isn't a bearded, wise blend of Gandalf and Santa, but a horny, arrogant, lazy and all-round typical teenage boy. If your reaction is 'OMG, Meg Rosoff is going to HELL. So is everyone who reads her filth, the blasphemous heathens!' then this isn't going to be the book for you. If your reaction is 'OMG, Meg Rosoff is clearly a genius, tell me more!' then read on!On the surface of things, this is a novel about a boy called Bob. Bob is the God of Earth - and he's rubbish at it. He spends more time sleeping and fantasizing about naked women than he does caring about his creations. That job falls to his manager, Mr B, who has spent the last few millennia trying and failing to persuade Bob to accept some responsibility while he wades through paperwork and prayers from dawn until dusk. Meanwhile Bob's errant mother Mona has gambled away his pet Eck, Eck is contemplating death as he faces being cooked and served up with peppercorn sauce by his new owner, and Bob is falling madly in love with an assistant zookeeper called Lucy. His ardent desire for her could be the end of the world as we know it - but will he come to his senses in time to undo the chaos he has unleashed? Although the book started off a bit slowly, by the end I was really glad I'd persevered. I think the lack of a really relatable and likeable leading character made things harder - every single character is deeply flawed and Bob, in particular, makes me feel glad I never had a teenage brother to put up with! At the same time, it is exactly this flawed cast of characters that makes their individual moments of brilliance, compassion and strength so compelling. I really liked Bernard, the local vicar, who reminded me a lot of Tom Hollander's Rev, with his generous heart but decidedly earthy personality. The long-suffering Eck was a delight too! I thought There Is No Dog did a great job of prompting reflection - not necessarily about religion, but about life, love, responsibility and the world - in a gentle way, whilst also poking fun at the earnest feelings and obsessive interests of teenage life. Cautiously recommended to older teens and upwards!

[amaraduende · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

This was both fun and funny at times, but I was so disappointed by the general trend of things and the end. Why exactly did I just waste three hours of my life reading about a kid who didn't change, grow up, realize anything? He was abusive and uncaring and I was ready to stick with him but... really? really!? why on earth didn't we have Estelle, or Mr B as a main character? Then the story could have been framed more meaningfully and I wouldn't be left with such a nasty taste in my mouth.

Interesting thought experiment, metaphor, whatever... as Bob would say, "blahblahblah." I prefer to spend my time in the company of main characters with some kind of redeeming quality, thanks.

One of the biggest things that bothered me is that we are repeatedly told Bob at least has flashes of brilliance and creativity. For a while that's held as self-evident because of all the wonders of creation. So when Bob seems to go mad, working himself into a frenzy 'fixing the whale problem', we're told his solution is one of those flashes of brilliance. He is *God* after all. But what did he do? Make the fishes and whales swim through the air. Seriously? Mr B points out a few of at least a dozen really big red flaqs in this plan, but its still held up as brilliant? C'mon. It's not even that creative. So, this left my feeling that this weird world Rosoff imagines isn't even self-consistent or cohesive. We are told things but they don't seem to actually be true. And not in a clever, ironic way.

[jenreidreads · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This book has received some excellent press, so that's why I picked it up. I did not love it. In fact, I nearly put it down several times, and it took me much longer to read it than a YA novel usually would. Bob is a teenage boy, selfish and annoying, and he is also God. He only has the job because his horrible mother, Mona, won Earth for him in a poker game. Mr. B works with him, but really does most of the work. All Bob wants to do is have sex. Seriously. He has a pet Eck, which is sort of a penguin-y creature, the only one of its kind. And his mother loses Eck in another poker game! And Eck is going to be eaten by the god who won him! Only Lucy, the girl with whom Bob wants to have sex, and Estelle, a goddess who looks out for Eck, are redeemable characters. Everyone else was pretty awful. The ending made the book tolerable, but I definitely would not read this again. Perhaps the satire just isn't my thing? Bluh.

[mountie9_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The Good Stuff· Best premise for a book ever· Unlike anything I have ever read before· Made me a laugh my ass off on many occasions· Wonderful existential questions, moral lessons and other things that really make you think (not being vague on purpose just don’t want to give to much away), blind faith· Love the various characters especially Mr B, Eck, Estelle and Luke· God’s name is Bob· Thought provoking· Love the Stephen King quote at the beginning of the book and the praise about the book from from Mal Peet at the beginning really explains the gist and why you should readThe Not so Good Stuff· God really was a prick· Could have used a bit more story· Mom’s a self involved b***hFavorite Quotes/Passages“Perhaps the way to proceed is to think of life on earth as a colossal joke, a creation of such immense stupidity that the only way to live is to laugh until you think your heart will break.”“She thought of talking to God, her God – a benign, all-seeing sort of deity who didn’t get too involved with the day-to-day running of life, but who (she imagined) liked to be kept informed – a sort of thoughtful , philosophy professor of a god, passing his days in contemplation of the moral complexities of good and evil.”“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. Only it wasn’t that simple as that. The preferred candidate for God withdrew at the last minute saying he wanted to spend more time with his family, though privately everyone suspected he was having second thoughts.”Who should/shouldn't read· Thinking the seriously religious will have huge problems with this· Those who have a dry weird sense of humor like me will def enjoy· According to chapters marketed for 9 – 12 I would disagree I would say 12 + due to mentions of sexuality – a more mature 10 yr old maybe like I was but hmm 9 don’t think so· Great for a class read and for discussions4.25 Dewey'sI received this from Random House in Exchange for an honest review

[sandsing7 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

A creative premise, which is what caught my eye. However, besides the Eck, there was no character I felt invested in.

[akmargie · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

In usual Rosoff fashion I wasn't sure I liked this when I was reading it but as I've lived with it I find myself loving it more and more. Obviously her writing is still suburb and the story unique and thought-provoking. This book isn't going to be to everyone's taste since not everyone has a sense of humor when it comes to God and their beliefs. Much like Christopher Moore's Lamb, this book takes a humorous look at what kind of person God is, considering we're created in his image and likeness.

"She thought of talking to God, her God-a benign, all-seeing sort of deity who didn't get too involved with the day-to-day running of life, but who (she imagined) liked to be kept informed-a sort of thoughtful philosophy professor of a God, passing his days in contemplation of the moral complexities of good and evil."

"...with a little luck and a following wind, indulge in a few rounds of incredibly romantic rumpy-pumpy ding-dong merrily on high."

"That's how he had always felt. Run through with loneliness."

[celerydog_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Black serendipity had me reading this as my own black dog lay dying. For me there was no dog or god. Nevertheless, loved the book: laughed out loud, and snorted more than once. Ms. Rosoff has teenaged boys down to a T. Recommended to other Rosoff fans and not-easily-offended folk who enjoy satire.

[ekanderson_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Let me start by saying that I haven’t wanted to like, marry, a book this much in years.Seriously, THERE IS NO DOG is actually that good. You will want to kiss it and hug it and sleep with it under your pillow and make it a little blanket fort.Look, there are a lot of reasons you will love this book. But I’m going to give you the basics because there are so many delightful surprises and, you know, Meg Rosoff is too genius for words that I can actually make. So. Here is what you need to know:1. THERE IS NO DOG begins with the premise that God is actually a teenage boy named Bob. Bob pretty much sucks at being God and relies mostly on his assistant Mr. B. to deal with the day-to-day tasks of being God. You know, answering prayers, keeping civilizations from falling, etc. etc.2. There is a creature called Eck. Eck is the last Eck in existence and he is Bob’s pet. Bob’s mom is a horrible gambler, and in a poker tournament she convinced her oponent that Eck would be a fine subsitute for money, seeing as Eck meat is the best meat like ever. Bob’s mom loses Eck, and Eck is given six weeks to live before being eaten.3. I love Eck. I love Eck so much that if Eck came to live with me I would turn our home office into the Eck room and fill it with cakes and snacks for Eck. This is how much you will love Eck, too.4. Bob is in love. He is determined that this time it will be real, human love, none of this coming to her in the form of a swan and yadda yadda yadda. Of course, when things don’t go his way, the weather goes completely awry and the world turns topsy turvey. It is all Mr. B. can do to keep things in order and he’s finally had it. He’s going to retire.5. As if that isn’t enough, there are MORE characters and MORE little pockets of delightful subplots. The writing is this brilliant, lyric prose, the voice is stunning, and just talking about this book makes me all squishy inside. If you read one book this year, (and I hope you’ll read many, but I’m just saying) please make it THERE IS NO DOG by Meg Rosoff.

[jenneb_2 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This book is just about the only believable explanation of that "everything happens for a reason" nonsense--the reason is that God is a thoughtless, selfish, occasionally brilliant teenage boy.
There you go. Everything makes sense now!

[maryinhb · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

MY THOUGHTSABSOLUTELY LOVED ITBob, like most teen boys thinks about one thing and one thing only: sex. The problem with this is that Bob has a job as GOD and he is moody, a slob and well, a teenaged boy! He has created the earth and everything that goes with it and the earth responds to his moods with earthquakes, tsunamis and bizarre weather patterns. Especially if he forgets his running bath and well, you know what happened when it rained for 40 days. Mr. B is his personal assistant and roommate, but in all actuality, really runs the place taking care of paperwork and responding to prayers worldwide. Bob doesn't really pay attention to such things except every once in awhile, so when he does happen to intercept a prayer of Lucy wishing to fall in love, all hell breaks loose.Oh and Bob has found out that his mother got him the job as god, that and no one else really wanted it. Mona who probably stars in the Real Housewives of the Heavens also has an insane gambling problem and has lost Bob's pet ECK in a multi galaxy card game to Estelle's father, a probable gangster as a featured dinner. The ECK was my favorite little furry, penguin with an anteater nose creature ever! He squeaks and squeals and shouts ECK! whenever he is truly disturbed with Bob, which is quite often. Bob and Lucy really connect over the Eck since she works in a zoo. Of course the romance doesn't work out since Lucy will have none of Bob's nonsense.I just adored the tongue in check, sarcastic tone of this story. Much like Neil Gaiman and Christopher Moore, the wittiness and fantasy are just so pleasurable that this really was a quick read for me. I still kept hearing Joan Osborne's song "What if God Were One of Us" while reading this. Overall a fun and quirky read that should enable discussions about what else is out there.

[pmlyayakkers · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

God is an immature, irresponsible permanent teenager named Bob. When he falls in love with the beautiful mortal Lucy, meterological catastophes strike the earth reflecting his unrestrained moods.

[christianr_899499 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

On the cover there's a quote from Anthony Horowitz, calling this book "genius". He's got a point. What a fascinating interpretation of God and the creation of earth. Because God is not quite as we have learned about him, but he's a 19 year old boy who has little more than girls on his mind and even when his long-suffering assistant, Mr. B, gives him quite specific instructions on what continent needs water (Africa) and what one needs less rain (America), he gets them mixed up. Who wouldn't when they both start with A? According to this book, Earth is just one of many, many planets with life and it's pretty much the most messed up of all. This should prove to be thought-provoking for many teens, even though it's written in a light-hearted way.

[wiremonkey · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

What if God was a teenage boy? That is the question Meg Rosoff asks in her thought-experiment-in-novel-format, There is No Dog. God, a lanky, self-centered teen named Bob, got the job as Earth’s Allmighty because his mom won it in a poker game. But Earth is a backwater, in a little known and not wanting to be known part of the universe. Because of this, the higher-than-God-powers-that-be assented, with the condition that Mr. B., a fastidious, efficient bureaucrat comes with him as his assistant.So Bob goes crazy for about six days, where he creates really weird creatures, experiments with different lighting systems (once the earth was lit solely by crystal chandeliers) and decides it would be fun to create creatures in his own image. Hahahahahahaha.Then he gets tired and lets Mr. B. take over. Bob only rouses himself from his junk food-induced coma when a pretty girl crosses his path. Then he spends all his energy and that of Mr. B, pursuing the girl until he gets her to sleep with him and he grows bored and goes back to bed (some of his less than stellar wooing ideas included disguising himself as a swan and appearing to the maiden in question as a bull).Then his mother loses Bob’s pet in yet another poker game, Mr. B. can’t take Bob’s self-centered, lazy whinging anymore and resigns, and Bob falls head over heels for a young zookeeper’s assistant.In a nutshell, everything goes to hell (pun intended.)Although there are some funny bits (and just the premise alone makes me happy), this book feels more bitter and sad than anything. God comes off as a total wanker. Honestly, if I was a teenage boy, I might have some words for Ms. Rosoff because if all teenage boys are made in the image of Bob, then that would mean they are all self-centered, mother-hating, lazy, slobs driven by an excessive libido with no empathy or foresight or sense of responsibility.Oh, but sometimes they have rare moments of genius. That is Rosoff’s God.The real pathos comes with Mr. B, who is the real god-a beleaguered middle-aged man who has spent tens of thousands of years trying to clean up Bob’s mess. The only creatures he was allowed to create were the whales, for which he has a soft spot. But like everything else on the planet, they are suffering because of the mess Bob’s “made in his own image” creatures have wreaked. Mr. B. spends his days answering as many prayers as he can and attempting to cajole Bob into actually fixing something. Basically attempting to fix a burst pipe with a band-aid.Although there are rare moments of transcendence, when everything in the world seems right, and the joy of being alive on Earth is palpable, those moments are few and far between (which I guess mirrors reality). The message Rosoff conveys with her usual ferocity is that God is an asshat and his creation absurd at best and criminal at worst.