Being Mean: A Memoir of Sexual Abuse and Survival

Written by Patricia Eagle

Narrated by Tavia Gilbert

In this richly depicted story, told in vignettes relative to markers of age and experience, Patricia Eagle reveals the heartbreak and destruction of her sexual abuse, from age four to thirteen, by her father. A victim of her father’s anger and her mother’s complacency with his abusive behavior, Eagle uses dissociation and numbing in response to the abuse, and as a way to block her own sense of self.

How does a child confused by episodes of abuse come to know what is safe or unsafe, right or wrong, normal or abnormal? How does a young woman learn the difference between real love and a desire for sexual pleasure stimulated by abusive childhood sexual experiences? Careening through life, Eagle wonders how to trust others and, most importantly, herself. As a mature woman struggling to understand and live with her past, she remains earnest in her pursuit of clarity, compassion, and trust to build a stronger life.

Being Mean is about blocking sexual abuse memories, having them surface, then learning how to acknowledge and live with incomprehensible experiences in the healthiest ways possible.

• Language: English
• Publisher: She Writes Press
• Release date: Jun 11, 2019
• ISBN: 9781944568108

Patricia Eagle

Patricia Eagle discovered language with her first word, “bird,” later finding great solace in nature. Six decades of journaling served as a life buoy―tangible evidence of a life explored in earnest while being tossed by experiences of childhood sexual abuse. She followed her undergraduate degree from the University of Texas-Austin with graduate studies in Multicultural Education at the University of Houston-Clear Lake, completing her master’s research on using journaling as a method to better understand self and others. Patricia maintains an unyielding commitment to excavating and acknowledging what is resilient about her life and the lives of others. She lives in south central Colorado where she watches the Milky Way splash across night skies. Being Mean is her first book. www.patriciaeagle.com

Reviews for Being Mean

[Leslie Collins · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

It was ok. The first half kept my interest but the last half I had to force myself to finish between other books.

[Faye Beingessner · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Her voice and writing style were perfect for me. She has a way with words that is funny yet so serious at times. The story of her life is so honestly and bravely told with strength and true love. Thanks Patricia!!!

[Maddison Blair Addington · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The author is very vulnerable and her story provides insight that you can understand people better. She is a great example of someone that extends grace, forgiveness, mercy, and love to people, even those that hurt her. I learned so much from her and hope to apply many of the lessons into my life.

[Cas · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Raw emotional truthful book that helped me understand the feelings of abuse survivors