act of decommissioning 1. n. 1990s Northern Irish peace process. 2. n. Blocking a public convenience and rendering it unusable. ‘I wouldn’t go in there if I was you, Mr McGuinness. Ian Paisley’s just been in and carried out an act of decommissioning.’
and aweeeee! 1. exclam. Said in the soft Scottish accent of the Lowland shepherd, an instruction to a favoured sheepdog to set off to the right. 2. exclam. Expression of blessed relief when finally finding a discreet spot or council-sanctioned facility to strain one’s greens. 3. exclam. Whispered whilst discreetly treading on a duck.
Atatürk’s revenge n. A heavy flock of semi-viscous, lumpy mocking birds and lots of liquid, experienced after a heavy night on the raki and prescription-strength döner kebabs with all chilli sauce on. Named in honour of the father of modern Turkey and his win at Gallipoli during the first lot.
bank of chance n. Bookmakers.
beersay n. Gossip of a highly dubious nature, spread by a piss artist down the pub, viz. “You know that Sue Lawley…” etc.
Ben Brown is coming in to bat exclam. An announcement that egestion is imminent. See also the wolf is at the door; there’s a pig at the back gate; Mr Johnson is approaching the despatch box etc.
Term coined by slap-headed mystic GI Gurdjieff to describe the agony of one who has experienced acannot maintain it. Descriptive of someone who has had an unsatisfactory , and feels a follow-up toilet visit is imminent.
