oat buyers come in many shapes, sizes and types, but here, on this particular page—as a public service—I’m going to deal exclusively with the deeply depraved, bug-eyed, laser-focused variety. They are, after all, not only a threat to themselves, but a threat to others as well. I should know. I myself was once a card-carrying member of the bug-eyed band, wildly carousing websites and scouring marinas,
