How one family weathered the 'terrifying' spotlight of an HBO documentary

Robin Young and Sandy Russo wanted to start a family of their own when it was virtually unheard of for same-sex parents to raise children together.

So they did: Using sperm donors, they had two daughters, Cade and Ry Russo-Young, in 1980 and 1981. For several years, Russo and Young maintained a friendly relationship with Ry's biological father, Tom Steel, a lawyer in San Francisco who'd fought for LGBTQ rights, even vacationing with Steel and his partner.

But, as chronicled in Ry Russo-Young's three-part docuseries "Nuclear Family," which concluded Sunday on HBO, the families had a falling-out: Steel shocked Russo and Young by suing for paternity and visitation rights in 1991, triggering a legal case that would drag on for years and cause intense emotional distress for all parties.

For Russo-Young, 39, who grew up making home movies with her family and eventually became a filmmaker, the story once seemed fit for a fictional feature — but when she tried writing the screenplay,