Roger's PROFANISAURUS
action respray n. A Pekinpah-esque slow-motion bolt-shooting sequence in a big budget bongo movie. A bollockbuster.
and please give a warm welcome to our special gust exclam. A jovial, Michael Parkinson-style introduction prior to dropping one’s guts. A round of thunderous applause or toast to the Queen.
bird feeder n. An erection that dispenses nut- and seed-based nourishment.
Bournemouth beefburger n. After a sunseeker is caught short in the middle of a beach with no open public crappers nearby, the unappetising contents of his hastily improvised, handheld pap baffle made from a styrofoam burger box.
broadside 1. n. A forceful verbal attack, like you might get off Jonathan Swift, Thomas Paine or Vinnie Jones. 2. n. A performative act of flatulence achieved by leaning over onto one arse cheek and farting sideways. ‘Jeremy Corbyn last night aimed a devastating broadside at Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s economic record whilst wheeling his bike into his porch.’
builder’s cleavage n. The sweaty revealed by the low-slung jeans of the eponymous tradesman when he crouches to grout something.
