How Our Relationships Affect What We Eat
In my first serious long-term relationship, my ex hated three things that I loved—salmon, spicy food, and runny egg yolks. Food was often a bone of contention. I was a chef then and found it soul-crushing when my ex chose a Kraft Singles grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of Campbell’s tomato soup over the many meals I made. Once, after what I thought was a successful housewarming dinner party, I overheard my hangry ex on the phone lamenting that all I had made was "nasty Jamaican food."
These conflicts were hurtful and created deep emotional wounds. Anxiety and resentment began to flavor my home-cooked meals. As Eleanor Barnett, a food historian at Cambridge University, told me by email, “Eating together is a powerful means by which people solidify familial bonds, friendships, and allegiances. So much so that the word companion is derived from the Latin for ‘bread sharer’: cum panis.”
Jess O’Reilly is a counselor who
