The thank-you project

Tell us about your book, The Thank-You Project.

In 2016, I was approaching my fiftieth birthday and decided to mark the half-century milestone by writing a weekly thank-you letter, for fifty weeks, to someone who helped, shaped or inspired me.

What inspired you to write the letters?

The idea came about because I had the feeling that things were going really well. My girls were doing fine, I’d been married to my husband for a long time, my parents were well, and when you get to the age of fifty, you start realising it shouldn’t be taken for granted when everything is good. Writing thank-you letters felt like an appropriate way to acknowledge all the people who helped in my life.

How long did it actually take you to write the letters?

In the end, it took me sixteen months. The year started off being so positive, but it turned out to be one of the hardest of my life.

My dad died very suddenly. We didn’t know he was sick, and then he was gone six weeks later. He was a caregiver for my mum, who has dementia, so all of a sudden we became her caregiver. I couldn’t write anything for three or four months. I was just flat.

The second letter was to my dad, which I later realised was the most important letter. I sent it to him six months before he got sick and he framed it and hung it over his desk. When he was dying, I didn’t have to think: what have I not told Dad? I had told him everything. I had told him exactly what he meant to me.