AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME Jessica Leski’s I Used to Be Normal: A Boyband Fangirl Story
A moment of blissful self-awareness gives I Used to Be Normal: A Boyband Fangirl Story (Jessica Leski, 2018) its title. Asked what her life was like before she became obsessed with British boy band One Direction, sixteen-year-old Long Island high school student Elif is candid and reflective, first describing her teenage existence in standard terms. ‘Life was social, you know. I had friends. I would talk and focus on school more,’ she explains. ‘Then I discovered “the boys”,’ she continues. Later confronted with the reality of her supersized obsession – a passion so all-encompassing and free-flowing that a video of her watching One Direction concert footage, screaming and crying with unbridled emotion, went viral – she fittingly utters the documentary’s signature line: ‘I used to be normal.’
The words of Elif, one of four women featured in Leski’s documentary, are excited, eager and also a little bemused. There’s frenzied fervour in her voice, as well as humour, with her enthusiasm taking on a melodic and even somewhat-melodramatic tone. Yet, although she’s cognisant that her adoration of her chosen pop group isn’t something that everyone shares, she’s not passing judgement on herself. Despite lamenting that she once adhered to society’s idea of normality, Elif is honest and impassioned in her recognition that her obsession is exceptional – all while wearing her devotion as
