own the spotlight

Being the focus of attention doesn’t always come naturally to everyone. If the thought of a few hundred of your closest friends and family watching and celebrating you fills you with the bad kind of butterflies, you’re not alone. Instead of letting social anxiety ruin your wedding day (and let’s be honest, the months leading up to it) tackle it head on with these easy and actionable tips from psychologists. We’ll promise you this: There’s none of that “picture people in their underwear” advice in here.

Go easy on yourself

Your first order of business when it. “Social anxiety and a fear around public speaking is the most common way anxiety manifests itself for most people.” The days and months leading up to your wedding day are sure to be packed with a lot of decision-making, a lot of commitment and a lot of opinions, so it’s only natural they stir up feelings of anxiety or fear. “Weddings push the anxiety hot buttons of public speaking fears, body image anxiety, performance pressure and more, as well as the fact that you’re making a lifelong commitment,” adds Alice Boyes, PhD, author of . “They’re also incredibly expensive, so people want the money spent to be worth it.” Before you do any of the work to get a handle on your social anxiety, it’s important you stop fighting yourself (or worse, punishing yourself) for it. Accept it’s a natural reaction to this stage in your life and taking steps to control it will become much easier.