Dialogue

Never in front of friends

The author of the E₃ blurb for Shenmue III (E₃₃₅) comments: “We’ve always been baffled by the furore over Epic Games Store exclusives: the outrage at a game requiring a launcher other than Steam presumably comes from people who keep all their food, crockery and cutlery in one cupboard.”

This is an absolutely wretched analogy. Permit me to sentence it to a well-deserved death by over-extension, and perhaps help explain some (by no means all) of the reasons why people might object to being obligated to install the Epic launcher for a game they were earlier promised on Steam.

Firstly, let us imagine that every cupboard you install comes with a door on the opposite side which may permit a burglar access to your house. The door is locked, and the company insists that they’ve worked out any problems that might have allowed a burglar entry in the past,