<![CDATA['What do I tell them?' When children ask about Hong Kong protests]>

This has become a common sight at weekends in Hong Kong. The city has been roiled by nearly six months of unrest, sparked by an extradition bill that was later withdrawn " but not before fuelling an anti-government movement with calls for greater democracy and an inquiry into the police use of force against protesters.

Now, months later, Hysan feels nervous every time he sees a group of police officers, says his mother Wong.

"He is afraid. Sometimes he cries and has a hard time falling asleep," says Wong, who describes herself as "neutral" towards the demonstrations, which on many weekends have escalated into pitched battles between protesters and police on the streets, and more recently on university campuses.

The past week brought a rare pause in the clashes, in the lead-up to and after the November 24 district council elections that saw pro-democracy candidates secure a landslide victory.

Wong says she has avoided watching the news with her son, choosing to tune in to cartoons instead. "I try to explain what is happening " but sometimes, I have to say, it is very hard."

Secondary school students at an anti-government protest in Tsim Sha Tsui. Photo: Felix Wong alt=Secondary school students at an anti-government protest in Tsim Sha Tsui. Photo: Felix Wong

She is hardly alone, as other parents and teachers in the city have also struggled to talk to their children " some grappling with fear and distress " about the clashes and police detentions that have played out on television as well as in their neighbourhoods.

Since demonstrations began in June, children have seen them grow more violent, with masked protesters vandalising MTR stations and businesses perceived as pro-Beijing. Some have also been searched by police and exposed to tear gas used to break up clashes, while others watched television footage of bricks and petrol bombs being hurled at the authorities. Scenes of a 57-year-old man set on fire by masked protesters and a 70-year-old cleaner hit in the head by a brick, which resulted in his death, have been among the most graphic images.

Divided views have sparked family conflicts and school arguments, adding to psychological stress.

"I am worried about the impact on children and teenagers " because toxic stress can be very damaging not only at a psychological level but also at the developmental level," says psychologist Cecilia Lam.

A school student in Sai Wan Ho. Photo: AFP alt=A school student in Sai Wan Ho. Photo: AFP

At the same time, "many parents have expressed concern over what they should tell their kids and over their safety as well", says Victor Ching, also an educational psychologist, who has gone to the front lines of protests to offer counselling.

"It is not just the kids who are going through a tough time. The parents have needs too."

Austin, whose three children are aged between five and nine, says the past few months have completely changed what it is like to be a parent in Hong Kong.

He says the Yuen Long attack on July 21 " when a white-clad mob, which witnesses suggested were triad gangsters, stormed a subway station and attacked protesters and commuters " was one of the hardest moments to deal with as a father.

Children hold a banner with a plea to the authorities during a rally on June 16. Photo: Winson Wong alt=Children hold a banner with a plea to the authorities during a rally on June 16. Photo: Winson Wong

"Questions of 'Why would they do this?' to 'Why don't we fight them?' were asked by my [nine-year-old] son. I had no answer for him," says the 43-year-old sales manager. "He became angry and wanted to go fight them. I had to yell at him with tears in my eyes that they would beat him and he would be taken away. Even now, thinking about that moment, I want to cry."

Austin, a permanent resident of Hong Kong who is originally from the United States, says he then decided to take the whole family to the August 18 march from Causeway Bay to show his children that they could voice their "anger and desire for change and justice".

But they stopped attending demonstrations for fear of being caught up in dispersal operations and to avoid arguments with relatives who support the government.

Since the protests began in June, police have used about 12,000 canisters of tear gas, in addition to rubber bullets and beanbag rounds. They also fired 19 live rounds, including three that hit protesters, who have since been discharged from hospital.

Protesters have shot arrows, and lobbed bricks and bamboo poles. More than 10,000 petrol bombs were found in several universities over the past few weeks.

Over 5,000 people have been arrested " of these, at least 165 are under the age of 16.

The youngest to be convicted so far is a 12-year-old Form Two pupil, who last week pleaded guilty to vandalising a police station and MTR station.

Several detained minors have been placed in juvenile homes without being charged, with the authorities saying this is necessary while inquiries are made about their background and welfare. Lawyers and advocates the South China Morning Post spoke to say this can be traumatic for youngsters and their parents.

A girl attends the August 10 Protect Children's Future rally in Central, urging the police to lay down their weapons and safeguard the city's future. Photo: May Tse alt=A girl attends the August 10 Protect Children's Future rally in Central, urging the police to lay down their weapons and safeguard the city's future. Photo: May Tse

Austin says he is constantly concerned about his son's safety, as images of young protesters being detained play out in his mind.

"You do not sleep well worrying about when this will happen ... You start running scenarios of possibilities to safeguard your children and how you would sacrifice yourself to save them," he says.

Austin says he has not sought professional support for himself and his family, but frequently wonders what the future will bring.

"I know the question of 'Why not leave?' will come up," Austin says. "[But] how long we can hold out is more of a question of how long we can operate as emotionally shattered people without succumbing to a full breakdown that endangers us and our children."

Lo, 38, a housewife, has been explaining the situation to her eight-year-old daughter. They have attended some of the sit-ins and marches, and have both witnessed demonstrations turn violent in their neighbourhood.

"She has seen police in the area around our home and at the MTR stations, and she often says: 'Mummy, don't go there, because I am afraid'," Lo says. "I tell her about the history of Hong Kong and China. How Hong Kong became this city and that we have more freedoms and rights [than people on the mainland]."

Lo's daughter, who is in Primary Three, has experienced conflicts at school. "She said that some children of police officers told their classmates that if they agreed with or joined the protests, they would not play with them."

A woman and child walk past a burning MTR subway train station in Kowloon, Hong Kong. Photo: AFP alt=A woman and child walk past a burning MTR subway train station in Kowloon, Hong Kong. Photo: AFP

But police officers and their relatives have also been the targets of attacks, threats and doxxing. One example the privacy watchdog displayed at an August press conference was an image of a police officer and his child with a message beneath it: "Get ready to pick [him or her] up from school with a sack."

Eliza Cheung Yee-lai, a clinical psychologist with the Hong Kong Red Cross, which has run several support services including a hotline, says that relatives of police officers have been among those seeking help.

"The conflicts at home are even more severe," Cheung says, noting that children of police officers have to navigate peer pressure.

"It's quite complicated for them. If they don't join certain activities, they feel guilty. They feel they betray their friends."

Tear gas in Kowloon. Photo: AFP alt=Tear gas in Kowloon. Photo: AFP

Cheung says she has also dealt with calls from police officers themselves. "Work is very stressful lately and they have experienced many interpersonal relationship problems.

"Also, when they are off duty, they are afraid of people knowing they are police officers and doing harm to them. So this is very distressing."

Teachers have struggled to provide answers to children's questions.

"I would say that with younger children, the challenge is how to give them information without frightening them," says an English-language teacher, who did not want to give her name.

For older children and teenagers swept up in the protests, such as 16-year-old Mei, school has become a place of tension. Mei, who has been to the front lines of protests, has had arguments with her teachers and says the principal told her not to conduct any politics-related activities at school.

"I am tired, exhausted. I am not in the mood to do anything like school work. Even when I am asked, I really struggle to focus," she says.

Psychologist Lam notes that while everyone is being affected, those with pre-existing mental health issues risk their conditions worsening. She fears for the number of residents who may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.

A boy attends a march from Causeway Bay to Central in defiance of the anti-mask law issued by the government on October 5. Photo: Winson Wong alt=A boy attends a march from Causeway Bay to Central in defiance of the anti-mask law issued by the government on October 5. Photo: Winson Wong

A September study found a declining trend of mental health in Hong Kong. According to non-profit group Mind Hong Kong, 61 per cent of respondents showed signs of "poor mental well-being" and further evaluation for depression was recommended, compared with 48 per cent in 2018.

There has also been a string of suicides with notes left behind that made reference to the extradition bill crisis.

Clinical psychologist Cheung says the emotional and mental toll the months of unrest have exacted on Hongkongers could be long lasting. "People are affected in different ways " perhaps their neighbourhoods have been affected, their family relationships, their economic situation " because some are losing their jobs ... I think the magnitude of [the psychological] impact will be huge. It's better to be prepared."

While seeking professional help is important, Cheung notes that the well-being of individuals and their children often begins at home. "It needs to start with each family, so a family is a safe haven where young people can go back and seek support and care," she says.

This article originally appeared on the South China Morning Post (SCMP).

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