A Satire Venture Co-founded by Elon Musk Arrives With a Thud
I was instructed to “get my saliva ready.”
Images of a bacon cheeseburger, an ice-cream sundae, a steak, a cow, a monster truck, a male torso, and a smiling Chef Emeril Lagasse flashed before my eyes, presumably to help me salivate. The webcam on my MacBook activated and zeroed in on my mouth, which I was asked to contort along a stenciled outline. Mouth agape and in place, I snapped the photo.
“Sorry, your saliva was sloshing too quickly,” the website quickly notified me. “Please steady yourself and try again.” I repeated the oral contortion, took another photo, and was told my “saliva looks great!”
After answering four final questions—whether any of my ancestors are canines; which, of a drop-down list of choices, is my most prominent deformity; what the last four letters of my genome are; and how many of my grandparents have engaged in sexual intercourse with Genghis Khan—I was ready to submit my DNA test on DNA Friend.
Immediately, DNA Friend sent me an email promising I would receive my “comprehensive genetic profile” within 24 hours. I was advised not to swallow in case technicians needed to double-check their results.
DNA Friend is not
