Ending a Marriage in the Only Country That Bans Divorce

MANILA, Philippines—The call came in the middle of a workday. My lawyer’s name flashed on the caller-ID screen, and there was no small talk when I picked up.

“I have the court decision,” she said.

She was literally holding my future in her hands, in the form of an annulment decision we had sought for four years. After opening the envelope, she rambled a bit, skimming the contents out loud to fill the dead air.

Then she paused.

“Petition approved. Congratulations!” she said. “You are now a free woman!”

I had finally gotten out of my long-dead marriage in the devoutly Catholic Philippines, the only country in the world (other than Vatican City) where divorce is not legal. Two people can voluntarily choose to love, honor, and remain faithful to each other, but in the Philippines it is pretty much only through death, or the torturously long process of annulment, that they can part.

I had walked out on my marriage five years earlier and had barely spoken with my daughter’s father for just as long, but on paper he was still my husband. I was a single woman, but I was not free. My name was only half mine—all and jailed.