Why men fight – and what it says about masculinity

About a year ago, I was merging lanes on the highway during an hour-long trek to a job interview when, in my rearview mirror, I saw a middle finger waving furiously at me. Cutting the other driver off had been my fault, and so when he changed lanes to zoom up beside me I turned in my seat to wave and mouth an exaggerated and lip-readable “I’m sorry”.

I could read his lips, too.

“Pull over!” he was shouting. He had also switched fingers, and was now pointing at the shoulder of the expressway beside me.

This was where we were to fight.

And so I did what you do when you’re a liberal guy who teaches college writing and writes stories for a living. I shook my head and squinted at him like he was a lower, more barbarian life-form, and I meant it. One of three outcomes was possible:

1) He beats me up
2) I beat him up
3) We square off until one of us backs down

In any scenario, the fact that I cut him off doesn’t change, and I’m late for a chance to pick up some freelance work. If my kids had been in the car, it might have been an opportunity for a good lesson: this is how