About this series
JUST WHO DO YOU HAVE TO KILL TO GET HEALTH CARE AROUND HERE?
In this book, you, the reader, get to be the main character in an exciting tale of blackmail and corporate espionage. You're an alcoholic temp with a dream of one day being a celebrated novelist. Unfortunately, you drink too much. When you wake up from a blackout, you discover you've been framed for murder. Someone wants you to take a permanent job, and he's ready to blackmail you into doing it. What will you do? Will you turn yourself over to the cops and write a memoir about being wrongly imprisoned? Will you go perm and enjoy the benefits of health care? Or will you escape into the sewers and live with the Mole People? The choice is yours!
If you want to just surrender and go to jail, turn to page 6.
If you want to hide by blending in with a group of 9/11 conspiracy theorists, turn to page 160.
If you'd like to let Haviland Payne, CEO of SkoolKidz Uniformz, have her way with you, turn to page 73.
If you want to see how the whole situation gets resolved on page 181, turn to page 181.
Titles in the series (2)
- You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero!: Book One in the Just Make a Choice! Series
1
Why Do All the Nice Girls End Up Getting Kidnapped and Held for Ransom? In this book, YOU, the reader, are a thirtysomething part-time actor/full-time waiter suddenly caught up in a kidnapping. Julia, the girl you went out with last night, has been TAKEN HOSTAGE. What will you do? Will you go to the police and ask for help? Will you burst into the hideout, killing everyone in sight, then tell Julia that she shouldn't misinterpret this as some sort of big commitment? Or will you unplug your phone and just get really, really drunk? The choice is yours! You awake to the sound of the phone ringing. "Hello?" You hear a man's voice. It is muffled. "We've got Julia." "Wait, what do you mean?" "We have kidnapped your girlfriend. If you ever want to see her again---" "Whoa, she's not my girlfriend," you say. "I just met her. I mean, I had a good time with her and all, but I wanna take it slow with this one, I think." "We understand," the voice says. "But she's new to the city, and presently, you're all she has. Give us fifty thousand dollars by tomorrow or we'll blow her head off." If you want to go and ask your parents if you can borrow fifty thousand dollars, go to page 173. If you want to have sex with your ex-girlfriend, consider getting back together with her, then think better of it, go to page 183. BE VERY CAREFUL! You're directing the story and the CHOICES you make can result in MURDER, GRADUATE SCHOOL ENROLLMENT, TORTURE, MARRIAGE, POST-APOCALYPTIC SLAVERY, UNWANTED PREGNANCY, even TEMPING! It's YOUR STORY and YOUR LIFE. All you've got to do is decide which page you want to turn to. JUST MAKE A CHOICE!
- The Terrible, Horrible, Temp-to-Perm Debacle: Book Two in the Just Make a Choice! Series
2
JUST WHO DO YOU HAVE TO KILL TO GET HEALTH CARE AROUND HERE? In this book, you, the reader, get to be the main character in an exciting tale of blackmail and corporate espionage. You're an alcoholic temp with a dream of one day being a celebrated novelist. Unfortunately, you drink too much. When you wake up from a blackout, you discover you've been framed for murder. Someone wants you to take a permanent job, and he's ready to blackmail you into doing it. What will you do? Will you turn yourself over to the cops and write a memoir about being wrongly imprisoned? Will you go perm and enjoy the benefits of health care? Or will you escape into the sewers and live with the Mole People? The choice is yours! If you want to just surrender and go to jail, turn to page 6. If you want to hide by blending in with a group of 9/11 conspiracy theorists, turn to page 160. If you'd like to let Haviland Payne, CEO of SkoolKidz Uniformz, have her way with you, turn to page 73. If you want to see how the whole situation gets resolved on page 181, turn to page 181.
Bob Powers
Bob Powers has performed at HBO’s Aspen Comedy Festival, and he co-hosts and performs in the monthly reading series “How to Kick People” in New York City. He is the author of Happy Cruelty Day!, among other books. Bob has written for Flaunt magazine, The Onion A.V. Club, and the New York Press.
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