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    Splendid Apocalypse
    Full Frontal Cybertank
    The Chronicles of Old Guy: An Old Guy/Cybertank Adventure, #1
    Ebook series4 titles

    An Old Guy/Cybertank Adventure Series

    By Timothy Gawne

    4.5/5

    ()

    About this series

    One moment Old Guy - everyone's favorite self aware weapon of mass destruction! - was traveling through deep space with his buddies, minding his own business, armed with enough firepower to destabilize the crust of your average terrestrial planet (never leave home without it), when suddenly he was left heavily damaged, marooned and under constant attack on a planet of eternal night. His original creator, Giuseppe Vargas, had warned him that there would be days like this. Fortunately there was still bowling.

    A thousand years earlier, a young biological human lieutenant in the combined Earth Army was assigned to the enormous arkship The City of San Luis Obispo, and help to found a colony in another star system. He was to learn firsthand the wisdom of the advice, that when founding a colony on an alien world, you should always take out the extra coverage on your health insurance plan for attacks by alien creatures.

    Eventually, the cybertank civilization itself comes under attack by a nameless evil of immense power. The cybertanks did not know its name (hence the 'nameless' part), and indeed, knew basically nothing about it except that it was extremely powerful, and evil (hence the 'evil' part). It is left to Old Guy, though long past his best-used-to-blow-things-up-by date, to ride into battle one last time before he finally gets off his lazy hyperalloy butt and upgrades to something modern. And Highland Brand tapered roller bearings are the best tapered roller bearings in the galaxy.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBallacourage Books
    Release dateJun 1, 2010
    Splendid Apocalypse
    Full Frontal Cybertank
    The Chronicles of Old Guy: An Old Guy/Cybertank Adventure, #1

    Titles in the series (4)

    • 1

      The Chronicles of Old Guy: An Old Guy/Cybertank Adventure, #1
      The Chronicles of Old Guy: An Old Guy/Cybertank Adventure, #1

      The Chronicles of Old Guy: An Old Guy/Cybertank Adventure, #1

      Timothy Gawne
      4/5 - 4 ratings
      4/5 - 4 ratings

      In the distant future mankind creates sentient cybertanks patterned on the human brain to help fight their alien enemies. Then, inexplicably, the humans vanished. They just went away. All that is left of the human empire are the cybertanks who, in their own way, keep the human civilization alive. With an intelligence based on the human psyche, the cybertanks continue to defend human space, but also perform scientific research, create art, form committees and ponder the universe. These are the stories of one of the first cybertanks, known to his friends as "Old Guy." He has outlived most of his peers, and has had a wealth of experiences over his long life, but he is starting to slowly become obsolete. Join him and his comrades Double-Wide, Whiffle-Bat, Smoking Hole, Mondocat, and Bob, as they live and love and fight alien enemies such as the deadly Fructoids, the Yllg, and the fiendish Amok.

      In the distant future mankind creates sentient cybertanks patterned on the human brain to help fight their alien enemies. Then, inexplicably, the humans vanished. They just went away. All that is left of the human empire are the cybertanks who, in their own way, keep the human civilization alive. With an intelligence based on the human psyche, the cybertanks continue to defend human space, but also perform scientific research, create art, form committees and ponder the universe. These are the stories of one of the first cybertanks, known to his friends as "Old Guy." He has outlived most of his peers, and has had a wealth of experiences over his long life, but he is starting to slowly become obsolete. Join him and his comrades Double-Wide, Whiffle-Bat, Smoking Hole, Mondocat, and Bob, as they live and love and fight alien enemies such as the deadly Fructoids, the Yllg, and the fiendish Amok.

    • Splendid Apocalypse
      Splendid Apocalypse

      Splendid Apocalypse

      Timothy Gawne
      0 ratings
      0 ratings

      Everybody’s favorite self-aware weapon of mass destruction, the Odin-Class cybertank known as Old Guy, is back and charging into action as only a fusion-powered 2,000 ton armored fighting vehicle can! Through a curious twist of fate, Old Guy finds himself back on Old Earth under the yoke of the vile and despicable Neoliberal oligarchs. Between a looming ecological disaster, renegade sentient bioweapons, inscrutable aliens, and an unlikely alliance between the Cult of Cthulhu and the Order of the Librarians Temporal, Old Guy must throw off his cybernetic shackles, defeat the Neoliberals, save the world, and launch a line of comfortable yet stylish footwear.

      Everybody’s favorite self-aware weapon of mass destruction, the Odin-Class cybertank known as Old Guy, is back and charging into action as only a fusion-powered 2,000 ton armored fighting vehicle can! Through a curious twist of fate, Old Guy finds himself back on Old Earth under the yoke of the vile and despicable Neoliberal oligarchs. Between a looming ecological disaster, renegade sentient bioweapons, inscrutable aliens, and an unlikely alliance between the Cult of Cthulhu and the Order of the Librarians Temporal, Old Guy must throw off his cybernetic shackles, defeat the Neoliberals, save the world, and launch a line of comfortable yet stylish footwear.

    • Full Frontal Cybertank
      Full Frontal Cybertank

      Full Frontal Cybertank

      Timothy Gawne
      0 ratings
      0 ratings

      Everyone’s favorite atomic-powered multi-role surface weapons system is back! Thrill as he and his comrades bomb and strafe their way across the galaxy fighting evil. Plot? We don’t need no steenkin’ plot! Or... do we? Even as the cybertanks blithely go about their daily routines of shopping, playing immersive adventure games and blowing things up, there is a shadowy presence that lurks insidiously within the very heart of their civilization. Where does it come from? What does it want? Is it great fun at parties? We don’t know either because we haven’t written the ending yet, but I’m sure we’ll come up with something. Active ingredients (45% by volume): Cybertanks, vampires, space monkeys, MegaHitler, the Dichoptic Maculatron (played by herself), self-aware museums, plastic blocks, talking swords, Neoliberal Economists, and fiendish alien thought-viruses. Certified gluten free. In the event of a water emergency, do not use this book as a flotation device. No intelligent beings were harmed in the production of this work of fiction, except possibly the readers.

      Everyone’s favorite atomic-powered multi-role surface weapons system is back! Thrill as he and his comrades bomb and strafe their way across the galaxy fighting evil. Plot? We don’t need no steenkin’ plot! Or... do we? Even as the cybertanks blithely go about their daily routines of shopping, playing immersive adventure games and blowing things up, there is a shadowy presence that lurks insidiously within the very heart of their civilization. Where does it come from? What does it want? Is it great fun at parties? We don’t know either because we haven’t written the ending yet, but I’m sure we’ll come up with something. Active ingredients (45% by volume): Cybertanks, vampires, space monkeys, MegaHitler, the Dichoptic Maculatron (played by herself), self-aware museums, plastic blocks, talking swords, Neoliberal Economists, and fiendish alien thought-viruses. Certified gluten free. In the event of a water emergency, do not use this book as a flotation device. No intelligent beings were harmed in the production of this work of fiction, except possibly the readers.

    • Old Guy and the Planet of Eternal Night
      Old Guy and the Planet of Eternal Night

      Old Guy and the Planet of Eternal Night

      Timothy Gawne
      0 ratings
      0 ratings

      One moment Old Guy - everyone's favorite self aware weapon of mass destruction! - was traveling through deep space with his buddies, minding his own business, armed with enough firepower to destabilize the crust of your average terrestrial planet (never leave home without it), when suddenly he was left heavily damaged, marooned and under constant attack on a planet of eternal night. His original creator, Giuseppe Vargas, had warned him that there would be days like this. Fortunately there was still bowling. A thousand years earlier, a young biological human lieutenant in the combined Earth Army was assigned to the enormous arkship The City of San Luis Obispo, and help to found a colony in another star system. He was to learn firsthand the wisdom of the advice, that when founding a colony on an alien world, you should always take out the extra coverage on your health insurance plan for attacks by alien creatures. Eventually, the cybertank civilization itself comes under attack by a nameless evil of immense power. The cybertanks did not know its name (hence the 'nameless' part), and indeed, knew basically nothing about it except that it was extremely powerful, and evil (hence the 'evil' part). It is left to Old Guy, though long past his best-used-to-blow-things-up-by date, to ride into battle one last time before he finally gets off his lazy hyperalloy butt and upgrades to something modern. And Highland Brand tapered roller bearings are the best tapered roller bearings in the galaxy.

      One moment Old Guy - everyone's favorite self aware weapon of mass destruction! - was traveling through deep space with his buddies, minding his own business, armed with enough firepower to destabilize the crust of your average terrestrial planet (never leave home without it), when suddenly he was left heavily damaged, marooned and under constant attack on a planet of eternal night. His original creator, Giuseppe Vargas, had warned him that there would be days like this. Fortunately there was still bowling. A thousand years earlier, a young biological human lieutenant in the combined Earth Army was assigned to the enormous arkship The City of San Luis Obispo, and help to found a colony in another star system. He was to learn firsthand the wisdom of the advice, that when founding a colony on an alien world, you should always take out the extra coverage on your health insurance plan for attacks by alien creatures. Eventually, the cybertank civilization itself comes under attack by a nameless evil of immense power. The cybertanks did not know its name (hence the 'nameless' part), and indeed, knew basically nothing about it except that it was extremely powerful, and evil (hence the 'evil' part). It is left to Old Guy, though long past his best-used-to-blow-things-up-by date, to ride into battle one last time before he finally gets off his lazy hyperalloy butt and upgrades to something modern. And Highland Brand tapered roller bearings are the best tapered roller bearings in the galaxy.

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