The distance series

Kayson: Fighting in a war was easy; I did that every day. It was the death that came along with winning the fight that was a hard pill to swallow. Each death had a smell and face. Those people were someone’s father or sister or friend. Just like each fight had a face and that’s what was always missing in my fight; a love to fight for. Arianna: For as long as I can remember I’ve been alone. No one to tend to my belly aches, no one to kiss my skinned knee and no one to tuck me in. Sure there was the illusion of parents but they didn’t care. All they saw when they looked at our family portrait was themselves. I was always the afterthought, the little girl in corner hiding from the crowd. Kayson: Ari was everything I needed but never would have fought for in my time of need. Fight isn’t something you require when dealing with love. Love should come easy and this felt effortless. She was my tethered rope when the quicksand of my sorrow was getting to thick. She was my lifeline. Arianna: When I met him I didn’t know what he did for a living. I didn’t care. All I knew was that there was sadness behind his eyes and I wanted to help heal him. Kayson was my charity case, my very attractive charity case. I didn’t know that all I needed was one week in his life to know that he would play such a significant part in mine. It was one week until his job took him away from me. Fighting for our country is something I’ve always admired about him. Kayson was strong, reliable and trustworthy. He was everything you saw when you thought of the perfect soldier. But as much as I loved his strength I hated his ability to walk away from me. Without him I’ve learned how dark our world really is and how lonely one can feel amongst a crowd. How was I to manage this life? A life at a distance with the one person who makes me feel alive. Who makes me feel like me for the first time in my life? Who knew we would be fighting the same battle of a different war?

Kayson: Have you ever seen the world through a pin hole? The further your eye gets from that pin hole the less you can see. The closer your eye is the more your surroundings become clear. That’s what I feel like right now. As soon as the news hit my ears I felt like I was looking at a distance through a pin hole. I could make nothing out, not shapes or colors. I got the illusion that I was at the bottom of a very deep well looking up into the sky. I feel alone, scared and I feel panic. I’ve never felt those things before in succession and considering I’ve been in a war that I felt scared in speaks volumes. I hear screaming piercing my ears and I snap back to reality when I feel someone shaking me. It’s me...me who is screaming, screaming Ari’s name, me who lost their life the second she stepped onto that plane. And me who will never be the same again because my heart went with her Arianna: I’m free falling, from where I have no idea but I can feel the panic in my chest. I can feel the air being ripped out of my lungs as if it were never meant to be there. I’m not sure what’s happening but I know I feel alone. I’ve never felt this alone and that’s saying a lot considering my history. I could hear myself screaming but I got the feeling I was never heard. Typical; story of my life. What was the point in screaming, crying and showing emotion at all when no one bothered to hear you or even see you? Who knew that in a split second life could change so drastically. One second you can be here and the within the blink of an eye be taken away from this place called life with so much unfinished business to handle. Destiny is written before we’re born and we have no way of knowing why we’re chosen to live or chosen to die in that split second. Who knew I would find out the meaning of life through death. Who knew I would find me.