The casual listener, who might possibly not be a loyal Patreon subscriber, or might hypothetically not listen devotedly to every Gurometer scoring episode, could conceivably be a little vague about what we mean by a secular guru(!). And therefore might be tempted to make an ill-considered and poorly-informed comment on Twitter or Reddit, thus exposing them to the devastating yet apropos riposte of a "You know nothing, Jon Snow" meme in reply. Don't let it be you! Here is a tutorial, a short illustrated primer if you will, on the Science and the Art of 'Gurometry'. No more will you have to live with the shame of not knowing how many syllables there are in anti-establishmentarianism. Never again will you be liable to fall prey to the siren song of pseudo-profound bullshit or fall foul of conspiracy mongers.Listen to it. Study it. Meditate on it. In no time at all you'll be spotting gurus in the wild, categorising, and classifying them at will. You'll feel like an ornithologist who's just been given a great big pair of binoculars, a spotter's guidebook, and a free afternoon to wander about a National park. Impress your friends, family, and potential sexual partners with your intimate and subtle understanding of What It Means to Be a Guru.You're welcome.LinksOnline Presentation on the Gurometer at The StoaDTG Episode 21: Calibrating the GurometerStrenuous Life Podcast: 10 Red Flags You're Following a Guru, Stephan Kesting with Dr Chris Kavanagh