Taylor Payne is playing mediator, albeit not a very neutral one, with George Caulkin and Chris Waugh at loggerheads. Could it be the least interesting feud in history?
Perhaps we're restless because everything is going so well on the pitch. Crystal Palace were no match for Newcastle at St James's Park on Saturday; Dortmund should provide a stiffer test on Wednesday.
Becky Langley's NUFC Women also strolled to victory on Sunday and there was a heartening reception for Sandro Tonali with news imminent on his punishment for illegal betting.
Donate to the NUFC staff charity challenge here.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices