Premier League football returns as Ashwood City take on Crystal Palace in Matchweek 1 of the new season. With COVID-19 restrictions in place; Dartley Park remains closed to the fans. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan's endeavours to increase matchday revenue for the club lead him to a fan engagement initiative using cardboard cutout selfies to attend the fixture.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonJohn Brannoch as Colin Walsh  Rachel Teate as KarenLucinda Shaw as Christine WilliamsMatt Jansen as himselfAdditional VoicesJoel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.