It’s “the jewel in the crown”, “the toughest test in cricket”, and, according to Steve Smith, “bigger than The Ashes”. Yes, Usman Khawaja, The Grade Cricketer and Australia heads to India to commence the final six months in the history of Test cricket - and we’re frothing. We cover visas, selections, purity, Ashwin impersonators, big boy breakthroughs and other obscure matters ahead of the first Test in Nagpur, starting Thursday.

Elsewhere, the Scorchers once again win the Bucket on Your Bonce League, and deservedly. Cooper Connolly is all jaw and sex, AT does the business, and they’re probably good because they ignore much of the guest player gear (with the understandable exception of Faf). But do we need to sell it all to India? This is the question of the Asian Century.

Jofra’s back and Pez would really like x2 tickets to Lord’s on Days 1 and 2. Completely unlikely, but would like to go with Dad. In the context of all causes it is not even remotely important. And yet, here we are. 

Our Women should win the World Cup and break records - anything else will be deeply concerning. Moreover, they have one game to get themselves a massive WPL contract. All the best, friends.

Then we talk about 90s jingles for 10 minutes, before AskTGC wanders through the common state of delusion one engages when returning to the game in an oversize golf shirt.
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