Have you ever read a book and just known the author’s marriage is terrible? Today’s roast is New Moon -- about a love triangle where the protagonist does NOT love one of the boys, so it’s a janky triangle with a leg that’s way shorter -- the first isosceles love triangle! Plus, Kellen moves on from his Twilight-loving past, and Dave does not move on from his Twilight-hating present.***NOTE***This episode was originally taped in front of a live audience, but the venue's audio software "crashed" and was lost. We apologize to all who were present who now don't get to have that memory recorded. After hearing the news, we recorded as we usually would (cold and alone), but we have included a few minutes of the original live recording as it was captured on an offstage mic. You'll find it at the end of this episode--it's not high quality, but it's something (which could have been the tagline to this book...).***ALSO***If you need a quick recap of this book because you haven't read it (congrats by the way), this is the one where Edward (handsome vampire) breaks up with Bella (dull human) to "protect her," and leaves for most of the book while Bella becomes close friends with Jacob (handsome dull werewolf). And now you're ready.*TheBookPilePodcast@gmail.com*Kellen Erskine has appeared on Conan, Comedy Central, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, NBC's America's Got Talent, and the Amazon Original Series Inside Jokes. He has garnered over 50 million views with his clips on Dry Bar Comedy. In 2018 he was selected to perform on the “New Faces” showcase at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal, Quebec. Kellen was named one of TBS's Top Ten Comics to Watch in 2017. He currently tours the country.*David Vance's videos have garnered over 1 billion views. He has written viral ads for companies like Squatty Potty, Chatbooks, and Lumē, and sketches for the comedy show Studio C. His work has received two Webby Awards, and appeared on Conan. He currently works as a writer on the sitcom Freelancers.