The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, James Maw and Michael Cox cobble together a line-up of emergency goalkeepers, stoppers, enforcers and goal-poachers.
Why is there such a rich history of strikers fancying themselves at centre-back? Why do we assume that ageing forwards will be able to retire to midfield and "spray the ball about"? Are right-footed left-backs the most unsatisfying sight in football?
They're spectacularly out of position, but ready to do a job for you - it's the ultimate Makeshift XI.
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