Esther Perel is one of the most fascinating thinkers today on issues of desire, sex, and relationships. As an author and psychotherapist, she helps therapy patients (and the general public) understand the complexities of love and desire with provocative questions. How do you turn yourself on? How do you balance your need for safety and security, and on the other hand, your need for adventure and novelty? Can you want what you already have? As the author of the iconic “Mating In Captivity” and another bestseller, “The State of Affairs,” Esther is reshaping society’s views of sexuality and eroticism -- and arguably, healing them. In today’s episode, we talk about the difference between sexual and emotional needs, how you can calibrate your expectations of marriage, and why people in happy relationships still cheat. We also discuss her new game “Where Should We Begin,” answer a listener’s question about how to handle anxiety in relationships, and her number one piece of advice for having better sex. For more Esther Perel, visit estherperel.com Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this show FREE: Magic Wand, Pjur Lube Show Notes: The Pleasure Planner For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com