House Speaker Nancy Pelosi finally agrees to hold a vote on the impeachment inquiry at the behest of—wait for it—Republicans. We examine Pelosi’s impeachment bind and the Democrats’ biggest mistake: they believe their own press releases. Then, a group of Indians attacks black girls in New Jersey because of white supremacy or something, according to the NYT in the Dumbest Article of the Internet Today. And finally, more bad news for Joe Biden as the nominally Catholic nominal Democratic presidential frontrunner is denied the Eucharist at a Catholic church in South Carolina because he supports killing babies. Date: 10-30-2019