Welcome to episode 447 of The Whole View! This week, Stacy and Sarah
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The Whole View, Episode 447: Basic Needs Don’t Count as Self-Care
Welcome back to episode 447! (0:28)

Stacy kicks off this show by speaking about this article about women's tendencies (especially moms) to put others' needs above their own.

This often takes the form of attributing "self-care" status to activities that fill a bare-minimum, basic need.

Taking a hot shower or going on a quiet trip to the store without the kids isn't going to fill your cup and allow you to pour more into others. 

Sarah laughs that a part of her wants to clap her hands over her ears and not listen.

If any listeners feel similar ways, like if you don't call the bare minimum stuff self-care, then can't call anything you do self-care, Sarah wants you to know you are not alone.

Stacy adds that in Sarah's defense, there is a lot of things that she does she might not realize count as self-care.

For example, Sarah spends a lot of time with her dog, going for walks and training, That's something Sarah does out of pure enjoyment that recharges her.

Stacy explains that what self-care looks like is different for all of us. It's not just facials and massages. It's what makes you feel full and refreshed.


If you can't love yourself, how are you going to love somebody else?

-Ru Paul


If you don't take time to fill your cup up and love yourself, how can you love and take care of someone else?

Stacy knows she's am a better mother, wife, and friend to other people when she's taken care of herself and not at the precipice of losing her patience. 

Doing something that's not draining is different than doing something restorative.

Types of Self-Care
Stacy breaks down self-care into four different types, and that they don't have to be the cliche versions to count as self-care. (12:01)

Stacy challenges listeners to really think about what outcome has them feeling lighter and better?

It might not necessarily feel like something that's self-care upfront. Maybe it makes you feel a little uncomfortable at the moment. But it also might be something fully restorative to you. 

 

Mind: Emotional Self-Care
Stress is incredibly inflammatory and can negatively impact your health if you're not effectively managing it. (20:13)

Mental health is so important. It's often one of the most overlooked ways of giving yourself love because of the stigmas attached to them.  

Stacy asks the audience to remember that even the healthiest of minds need a break and help. 

If you're a frequent listener, you probably know how much Stacy struggles with the idea of meditation. 

However, science shows meditation can rewire the connectivity between different brain areas, limit the overactive flight-or-fight response, and help regulate our hormones. 

If guided mediation just isn't your thing, there are alternatives you can try. 

Sarah shares that she's much more comfortable with breathing exercises than she is with gratitude meditation. It's not one size fits all, and there are many different shades and colors of it!

In Episode 432: Giving Thanks, Stacy and Sarah dig deeper into meditation's science and practice. 

It can seem a little ridiculous, but it really is a great way to reflect on mindset while focusing on wellness!

If you haven't already, you should check out Stacy's favorite show, Episode 421: Body Image. 

Stacy's said it before, and she repeats it now: there is nothing wrong with asking for help. 

Talk therapy is a great way to decompress the everyday stresses of life. It allows us to target and work on any toxic traits we're harboring that can sabotage our self-care efforts. 

If you're unsure where to start, Stacy explains one avenue is to get a referral from your primary care physician. There are also many online counselors and apps specifically designed to help!

Self-acceptance is vital to good self-care.

Stacy shares how difficult it can be