How do you set up a situation where you can safely talk about something painful from your past? Today’s episode was sparked by a listener telling me that she’d been sexually abused, and is now dissociating during sex with her very loving husband. He's aware of her history, but hasn’t a clue about what she’s truly experiencing. How could she open up to him? I'll be going over seven steps to that will help to create as much safety as possible for that emotional conversation. I want to welcome BetterHelp as a new sponsor to SelfWork. I'm excited about the possibility of my audience benefitting from their service and they have a special offer coming your way! The listener email is from a woman who's identified with perfectly hidden depression, but is quite concerned about finding a therapist that will maintain her confidentiality. Important Links mentioned in the episode: RAINN's sexual abuse crisis line Episode 007 on the pros and cons of telling about sexual abuse The Body Keeps the Score: Bessel Van Der Kolk Courage to Heal Workbook by Laura Davis Courage to Heal Workbook for Partners called Allies for Healing You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!