Dr. Joe Beam has said many times that if your spouse is leaving you for another person that s/he "madly loves" it may be to your benefit to slow the divorce down.Why?Because those states of being "madly in love" (also known as limerence) have a shelf-life. That euphoria doesn't last a lifetime. By slowing down the divorce you may be able to rescue your marriage because the limerence wears off before the divorce is final.Now Dr. Beam is modifying that statement. He still believes that limerence will erode and that there can be value in slowing the divorce. However, in an effort to slow the divorce, some have done things that provoke their abandoning spouses in ways that aren't beneficial.Yes, Dr. Beam strongly believes that in a divorce you should get an attorney and fight for everything that you need, even if that thwarts your spouse's plans. If your spouse becomes angry, say something such as "I'm not the one wanting this divorce. I'm happy to work on the marriage if you are. In the meantime, I will follow my attorney's advice and take care of myself and my children. I'm sorry if that upsets you or doesn't give you everything you want, but I must do what I must do if you continue with the divorce."There is value in your spouse having to face the consequences of his behavior.However, being unreasonable, mean, or vindictive works against you rather than for you. It antagonizes your spouse without any correlating benefit to your mate or you.So where is the balance?In this program, Dr. Joe Beam and special guest Jim Pourteau talk about protecting yourself during a divorce while not being unfair or unreasonable in ways that only bring about negative consequences.We are www.MarriageHelper.com are for marriages. Our success rate in helping crisis marriages solve their problems and save the marriage is three out of four. For our free resources ranging from articles, eBooks, and podcasts, see our website. If you wish to know more about our marriage coaching, call 615-472-1161.