Would you like to see a trick?
With just one word, I can stimulate electrochemical responses in your brain associated with feelings of affection and joy.
By merely uttering this three-letter rune, I can ignite your imagination, drench you in desire, and constrain you to my every command.
And no, it has nothing to do with slapping slippery body parts together.
Are you ready for this primordial talisman?
*leans in close*
N-E-W.
Hear it again, with the velvety tone of buttery vocal pipes . . .
New.
Inhale it like the ripe breath of autumn. Let it race through you like chain lightning. Flare with it like a match dropped in a dry patch.
New.
New what, you wonder?
Not one, not two, but a camel-load of only the finest fitness wares this side of Damascus are on the way, including . . .
Balance
A non-bacterial gut health supplement that'll help your body better process and absorb the food you eat.
(Releasing next month.)
Lunar Reflavoring
A much-needed upgrade to our shuteye supplement’s flavor system, which is currently reminiscent of cheap CVS perfume.
(Releasing September/October.)
Fortify Reformulation
The best all-natural joint supplement in the world solar system is getting even better—more UC-II®️ collagen, a swap for Meriva®️ curcumin, and the addition of agmatine.
(Releasing this month.)
Genesis Reformulation
Already a greens supplement without peer—most others aren’t even fit to sniff its underwear—Genesis is leveling up, too, with lingzi mushroom and dong quai.
(Releasing this month.)
Whey+ Fruity Cereal
Cinnamon cereal fiends rejoice! Soon, you’ll have another cereal-y flavor of scrumptious whey protein to pour into the BONE CAVE that is your MOUTH!
(Releasing next month.)
Phoenix with Caffeine
You take Phoenix, you lose fat faster. You take it with caffeine, you lose fat faster still. Thus, caffeinated Phoenix for those of you who dig on such doings.
(Releasing October/November.)
To-Be-Named Vitality Supplement
A combination of DHEA, blueberry anthocyanin, rhodiola rosea, and B12 for boosting energy, mood, and well-being. This one is going to be particularly beneficial to all you 40+ Legionnaires.
(Releasing October/November.)
Beyond Bigger Leaner Stronger 2.0
An all-new, rewritten-from-scratch, definitive second edition of my book for experienced weightlifters.
(Releasing this month/next.)
Fitness Science Explained
A book I wrote with published scientist James Krieger that gives you a crash course in reading, understanding, and applying scientific research to get fitter, healthier, and happier.
(Releasing this September/October.)
That feels good, right? That balmy breeze and bucolic buzz.
*Italian chef kiss*
Go ahead—bask in it a while longer, like snow tasting the sun's delight. And, I don't know, maybe buy something, too, if the spirit so moves you.
In any case, until my next trick, bonne journée et au revoir.

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Mentioned on The Show:
New Legion Supplements: https://legionathletics.com/shop/
New Books: https://legionathletics.com/products/books/
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