The desire to control outcomes and realities is at the root of all marital discord. Why? Because at its root the desire to control that which is out of our control is rooted in a distrust of God. If our spouse is disengaged, we want to nag so he or she will re-engage. When our finances aren't where we want them to be, we work and spend too much in hopes of regaining control. The list goes on. When we feel like our present reality is at odds with our ideal situation, we are faced with a choice: either we try to change the situation ourselves, we lose hope, or we trust God's goodness and sovereignty. Which one do you think is wisest?
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