The Paradox of Freedom:: A step-by-step guide to doing the “inner work”

By Em Hollis

THE PARADOX OF FREEDOM offers what very few in the self help
and spiritual space have been able to do- and that is describe a very
specific and clear step by step process to doing what many call, the
“inner work”. Although this term has been used often in this space,
very few have been able to clearly define what it means or offer
any tangible, practical, clearly guided processes for application. Em
offers a very clear process to apply many of the well known personal
development and spirituality concepts, as well as shares her own
uniquely developed framework, the Quadrant Theory, which offers
the reader a map to creating their own balance and inner peace
while navigating the spiritual journey. The book flawlessly blends
science based research with ancient spiritual wisdom in a way that is
very easy to read and understand. The Paradox of Freedom helps
you get to the heart of what may be holding you back in your own
growth journey, and offers a clear pathway through those blocks, to
create your own sense of internal and external freedom.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jul 8, 2025
• ISBN: 9798765263150

Em Hollis

Em Hollis, co-founder of The Art of Looking In, is an educator, facilitator, author, coach, and mentor in the field of self help, healing, transformation, and personal and spiritual growth. Through her own trials, tribulations, and transformations, she uncovered her passion and purpose to ultimately help individuals remember who they really are and what they are truly capable of creating in their lives. The foundations of her organization are rooted in the convergence of science backed research and ancient spiritual wisdom and practical tools with inspiring story to help you unlock your limitless potential. They achieve this through utilizing breathwork, meditation, ketamine therapy, and their signature Quadrant Theory framework—core tools that form the foundation of their online courses, immersive workshops, and life-changing retreats. Em is a certified SOMA breath instructor as well as holds certifications in various healing focused modalities including HeartMath Add Heart Facilitator and Neuroscience for personal development.

Book preview

Copyright © 2025 Em Hollis.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.balboapress.com

844-682-1282

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 979-8-7652-6316-7 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-7652-6315-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2025911470

Balboa Press rev. date: 07/08/2025

Contents

Preface

1   The Awakening

2   Creating a Daily Practice

3   Minimizing Distractions and Practicing Presence

4   Personal Responsibility and Emotional Healing

5   Transformational Experiences

6   Spiritual Egos and Boundaries

7   Quadrant Theory

8   Discovering Your Purpose

9   Activating Your Pineal Gland

10   Conclusion

Afterword

I dedicate this book to my grandparents, my parents,

the love of my life (and my soul mate), and my amazing

and brilliant kids. I also dedicate this book to every

person who has had an impact on me, supported

me, and believed in me even when I didn’t believe

in myself. There are too many of them to name.

Our intention in writing this book is to help those who have been wandering, lost, confused, and frustrated on their growth journey due to a lack of concrete, practical, step-by-step processes when it comes to doing the inner work. You might be tired of the extreme highs and lows and not know what to do or when or how to do it.

We want to meet individuals where they are in their growth journey, no matter what step they find themselves on.

This book will be a great road map for you if you apply the steps recommended.

If you find yourself wanting more support in your own journey, we offer multiple ways to work with us. These include courses, classes, private mentorship, and programs for each step mentioned in the book.

To find out more, visit our website-

www.theartoflookingin.com

Or email us at-

[e-mail]

Preface

Many esoteric and eastern traditions, including the Buddhist tradition and the Rosicrucian tradition, believe that your state of mind and the emotions you experience at the moment of death will follow you straight into the next life. So if you are in a state of extreme fear, that fear will follow you, and that is what you will experience. If you are holding on for dear life, that, too, will follow you into the next life. These traditions believe that to be truly liberated and free, you must die with a smile on your face, ready and willing for the next rebirth, free from suffering or fear.

The issue is that we forget everything every time we come back in. The spiritual journey is intended to help us remember so that we can stop the endless cycle of suffering and fear.

My intention in writing this book is to walk you through simple, practical, sustainable processes that will not only help you remember but also get you to a place, where, hopefully, you are able to die with a smile on your face, free of suffering and fear and with the knowing that you lived a good life, you contributed, you lived out your purpose, you served well, and you are ready for the next adventure. You learned to do more than have momentary fleeting experiences of spiritual grace, mystical manifestations, and deep, unconditional, universal love, fulfillment, and meaning. Instead, you learned how to sustain those things, to balance what I call the spiritual side of your brain and the science—or human—side of your brain. You found a process, a structure, a step-by-step map that you used and integrated to (1) eliminate confusion by establishing a clear road map; (2) get off the extreme highs and lows roller coaster that can accompany a spiritual awakening and/or healing journey; and (3) use this process and structure to apply the wisdom offered so that you know the truth of it at an experiential level, not just an intellectual level. You were able to hold and maintain joy, balance, connection, love, and harmony consistently as you walked through this journey we call human life.

That is my hope for you in reading and applying the principles in this book.

Throughout this book, I will lay out a very simple A-to-Z process to offer you a manual of sorts when it comes to navigating the inner work and living a truly integrated spiritual life—one in which you experience joy, peace, love, and freedom on a continuous basis. Your baseline of happiness, joy, and peace will be consistent, and you won’t suffer from the extreme highs and lows that an unstructured spiritual awakening can create.

As you will see, this might be somewhat difficult because the spiritual path can be very nonlinear. You might take two steps forward and one step back and find yourself filled with confusion and unanswered questions. Walking the path of spiritual liberation and freedom infers that there are no rules, no structures, or no laws to follow.

This is the paradox of freedom.

There is one thing I will ask of you as you work through these pages. So that you get a full and complete understanding and experience of how effective this process can be in its entirety, I will ask that you not work with any kind of manifestation or law of attraction activities during the first five steps. Why? Well, as you will come to understand, this process was created to teach you how to live from a consistent state of joy, peace, harmony, and happiness. To do that, you must establish some fundamentals and foundations that should exist BEFORE you try to manifest things or experiences into your life. Otherwise, manifestation will just be another way to avoid the necessary inner work to achieve consistency and sustainability. I will, in fact, walk you through the manifestation process once you have worked your way through some very important checkpoints. At that time, manifestation will become very easy. You will have done the required work to get to a place where you are learning to master yourself. Only from that place will manifestation be a breeze. Whether you are manifesting millions in your bank account, a soul mate, a healthy body, a happy life, or just the ability to sit and enjoy a cup of tea or coffee or a glass of wine, you will have embodied a more consistent state of joy and peace no matter what is happening in your outer world. THAT must be the intent. That must be the desire in order for this process to work effectively. If you are reading this book because you are on a quest to create the perfect partner, because you think that will solve all your problems, you will find yourself frustrated—and if you find yourself frustrated, it will be easier to quit. I will ask you to do things that might seem hard. The content in this book might push up against your old belief systems, and there might be times when you want to throw away or burn the book. However, if you have an honest, pure intent to overcome yourself, to grow and expand in ways you never thought possible, to create a life of purpose, meaning, happiness, and peace, then this process will serve you well, and you will stay committed enough to achieve those things. You will continue to work through the steps even when they feel hard or challenging. So yes, all the fun stuff of manifestation and the law of attraction will come, but first, you must lay a solid foundation. That is what the first five steps will provide you with. You might experience manifestations of things or synchronicities as you embark on these first five steps. Allow them to simply be proof that what you are doing with your inner work is working. Allow them to be sign markers or breadcrumbs indicating that the process is unfolding correctly and that one of the universal truths—that you actually have influence over your reality—is accurate. Let the manifestations be your own experience of this truth and offer you fuel to keep going, but do not let them be the means to the end.

Allow them to be just the beginning.

*Application is your problem because you have no structure and too much information.

1

The Awakening

This might seem obvious, but the first step in navigating the inner work is to have some kind of an awakening itself. Maybe you read a book, or listened to a podcast, or spoke with a friend, or watched a movie that suddenly opened your mind to something bigger. It isn’t religious in nature, and it also isn’t a mainstream way of thinking. It’s something more. It’s the feeling that there is so much more to this reality than what you have been told to believe. It’s the idea that maybe the world of classical physics and the world of matter aren’t so hard and fixed after all. Maybe it’s that you have started therapy and are beginning to understand the impact your mindset and emotions have on your life.

My own awakening began in September 2016.

Like most who walk through this first door, I was in a place in my life where I knew I needed something. I had no idea what, but I did know a couple of things for certain. First, I was incredibly unhappy in my life—not because I was a spoiled, entitled human being who wasn’t grateful for what she had but, rather, because, as most women do, I was living my life for everyone else. I was living the life that I thought I was supposed to live, even though, deep inside, I knew it wasn’t the right one for me. I think I always knew I was meant for big things, but because no one equipped me with the skills to live that big life, I settled for what everyone else did. I got married, got a good-paying job with health benefits, had kids, bought a home with some land, started a side business, went on vacations once a year with the husband and the kids, put on Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners, and lived what most would call