Choiceful Parenting: From Conception until Toddlerhood

By Viktoria Vajda

Choiceful Parenting: From Conception until Toddlerhood by Victoria Vajda. This parenting book is designed to help parents navigate their parenting journey. The book is created and written by a qualified psychologist, who is also a mother aims to provide practical advice on how to apply child psychology in everyday life. This book aims to provide a comprehensive understanding of the principles that govern child development, shedding light on the reasons behind young children’s growth and transformation, as well as the emergence of specific behaviours. Having a solid grasp on the theories of child development will help parents navigate through different parenting trends and advice that they come across. This book is designed to help parents comprehend the psychology and research supporting most parenting advice. It aims to assist parents in effectively applying this knowledge to their parenting style, irrespective of the parenting approach they prefer. Unlike most books in the same genre, this book does not favour one parenting style over another. Instead, it simply reveals the origins of these ideas and the underlying psychology, empowering the reader to choose what is best for parents and children alike.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jul 24, 2024
• ISBN: 9781304171481

Book preview

Choiceful parenting: From Conception until Toddlerhood.

By Viktoria Vajda

BSc (Hons) Psychology

Copyright and Title

Title: Choiceful Parenting: From Conception until Toddlerhood.

Subtitle-ISBN978-1-304-17148-1

Imprint/Publisher: Lulu.com

Copyright License

All Rights Reserved - Standard Copyright License

Copyright Holder: Viktoria Vajda

Copyright Year: 2024

Contributors: (author) Viktoria Vajda

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Acknowledgments

This book has been a longer project than I had anticipated. I am extremely grateful for the unwavering support and encouragement from my loved ones, as it played a crucial role in the completion of my project. I would like to express my gratitude to those who have remained loyal and supportive during the process of writing this book. Your belief in me has been a driving force behind my perseverance and dedication to this work. I hope that this book can serve as a token of appreciation for all the love and support you have shown me. I am deeply grateful to my cherished son, Oliver, who has been and will forever be my greatest source of inspiration.

Foreword

Today, there are countless parenting styles to choose from, along with a wealth of parental information to navigate through. There are numerous approaches to parenting, each with its own unique philosophy and techniques. However, one might wonder: where do all these parenting styles come from? Where does expert guidance on parenting originate? And which parenting style should you follow, and how do you apply all that a particular trend dictates? Is it acceptable to rely solely on your intuition or should you adhere to the guidance passed down by your parents? It is important to consider that parenting styles are often influenced by cultural norms, societal expectations, and personal beliefs. Ultimately, the best approach may be a combination of different styles that align with your values and goals as a parent.

This book aims to provide a comprehensive understanding of the principles that govern child development, shedding light on the reasons behind young children’s growth and transformation, as well as the emergence of specific behaviours. Having a solid grasp on the theories of child development will help you navigate through different parenting trends and advice that you come across. By delving into the intricacies of child development, you can make well-informed choices that align with your own values and aspirations as a parent.

This book is designed to help you comprehend the psychology and research supporting most parenting advice. It aims to assist you in effectively applying this knowledge to your parenting style, irrespective of the parenting approach you prefer. Unlike most books in the same genre, this book does not favour one parenting style over another. Instead, it simply reveals the origins of these ideas and the underlying psychology, empowering you to choose what is best for you and your child. By understanding the theories behind different parenting styles, you will be able to make informed decisions and help you navigate the complexities of raising children with confidence and clarity.

Parenting young children can be quite challenging. As a mother of a young boy, I can relate to this sentiment. Having personal experience as a parent and being a qualified psychologist, helped me write this book as an informative tool for parents. Customizing your parenting approach involves understanding yourself and your child and finding the most effective way to communicate and interact in a mutually beneficial manner. Contrary to what many believe, you often achieve this by making initial mistakes and learning from them. Parenting is a lifelong adventure filled with learning and exploration. I am here to walk alongside you on this journey, offering guidance and support as both a fellow parent and a psychologist. I bring together my academic knowledge and personal experience to provide you with valuable insights. Making mistakes is a natural part of being human. It is through these mistakes that we learn and grow, ultimately becoming better versions of ourselves. This is especially true for parents, who constantly strive to improve and provide for their children.

The book is divided into eight chapters that explore the journey of human development, starting from conception and continuing through birth and the first two years of life. This book is perfect for both new parents and those who have been through it before. The first section of the book provides a comprehensive guide to prenatal development and care during pregnancy, as well as the entire birthing process, and postnatal care. The later chapter provides a comprehensive exploration of infant development during the first year, transitioning into the second year of toddlerhood. These later chapters explore the different aspects of child development, including physical, cognitive, and social-emotional changes that occur as your baby grows.

The book, despite its concise nature, is brimming with a wealth of information, captivating facts, and well-researched data that effectively substantiates its claims. Rest assured, I have made sure to infuse an enjoyable and accessible tone throughout the book. To enhance clarity, I have included personal anecdotes from my own experiences as a parent to shed light on certain topics that may initially seem a bit niche. Prepare yourself for an enjoyable reading experience!

This book is designed to help you apply child psychology in real-life situations, providing insights into children's development and their behaviours. It will guide you through the vast array of parenting trends, making it easier for you to navigate and find what works best for you and your child. After reading this book, you will become an expert in child development, leaving behind any confusion or nonsense. I hope you will find as much enjoyment in reading it as I did in writing it.

Chapter One

The first part of the chapter offers a thorough examination of child development, covering its three main domains. Child development is often categorized into three domains: physical, cognitive, emotional, and social. These domains are not separate but interconnected. Children are complex beings who undergo physical, emotional, cognitive, and social changes as they grow. In this book, we will examine each domain individually to understand how they influence your child's development and to help you comprehend the changes your baby will experience in the first two years of life. The second part of the chapter explores various ideas and theories of child development, providing a historical overview of how these perspectives have evolved until the twentieth century. The chapter delves into the scientific foundation behind professional childcare and parenting guidance and their influence on current parenting practices and early childhood education. By understanding the historical context of child development theories, educators and parents can make informed decisions on how to best support children's growth and well-being.

The chapter will cover the following topics:

What is the definition of child development?

Child development encompasses the various aspects of growth that take place during a child and young person's life, including physical, cognitive, emotional, and social development. This subject is a component of a vast field of developmental sciences, encompassing all the transformations we go through during our lives. Child development as a distinct discipline stems from various scientific fields, including psychology, sociology, anthropology, biology, and neuroscience. Researchers and professionals from these fields, along with experts from education, family studies, medicine, public health, and social services, collaborated to establish what we now know as the field of child development. Child development is often categorized into three domains: physical, cognitive, emotional, and social. These domains are not isolated but intricately interconnected.

What are the periods of child developments?

Development happens over time, so it is important we sketch out the periods of development, the below table is universal, regardless of your geographical location or cultural background.

Where does professional parenting advice come from?

Child development as a discipline and related research only begin in the late nineteenth century. Of course, historically speaking ideas about how children grow, and change have existed long before. These ideas, or theories are crucial for two reasons. They offer organizing frameworks for our observation of children. Simply put, they provide direction, giving purpose and significance to our observations. Furthermore, theories that have been validated through research can provide a solid foundation for practical implementation. Understanding development through a concise theory enables us to make informed decisions on how to improve the welfare and treatment of children.

Theories are influenced by time and of course by cultural values. So, what makes a theory different from opinions and beliefs you may ask? A theory’s continued existence depends on scientific verification. This means that the theory must be tested using a fair set of research procedures agreed on by the scientific community, and its findings must endure, or be replicated over time. So why do I keep going on about the importance of theories? Throughout this book you will learn that common child-rearing advice and recommended parenting practices are based on theories and research. Within the field of child development, many theories offer vastly different ideas about what children are like and how they change. As discussed above, children undergo physical, cognitive, social, and emotional changes. This process is complex, and no single theory has addressed all these aspects. The presence of multiple theories on child development has significantly enhanced our understanding of the subject. Researchers and professionals are constantly striving to support, challenge, and even combine these various theories. Fortunately, organizing these ideas becomes straightforward when we examine their stances on three key issues. (1) Is the course of development continuous or discontinuous? (2) Does one course of development characterize all children, or are there many possible courses? (3) What are the roles of genetic and environmental factors- nature and nurture- in development? We will look closely at each of these questions below now.

(1) Continuous or discontinuous development?

As parents you will come across with this question: is development continuous or discontinuous with other words stage-like? How can we describe the varying capacities and behaviours of small infants, young children, adolescents, and adults? The major theories recognise two possibilities.

Continuous development is often seen as a slow and gradual process. What does that mean in terms of your child’s development exactly you may ask? Continuous development regards children development as a process where they gradually add more of the same type of skills that were there to begin with. This would suggest that babies and pre-schoolers respond to the world in the same way as adults do, and it is down to the amount of complexity in which they perform certain tasks and employ skills. Let me further illustrate with my son, Oliver. According to this view Oliver’s thinking may be just as logical and well-organised as mine or yours. Perhaps he can sort objects into simple categories, recognises if he has more of kind than of another, and remember where he left his favourite toy a week ago. Oliver’s only limitation might be that he cannot perform these tasks and skills with as much information and precision as us adults.

Discontinuous development suggests that process of understanding and ways how children respond to the world appears at specific times. According to this view Oliver’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviour is considerably different from those of adults. From this theoretical perspective, Oliver is not yet able to organise objects or remember and comprehend experiences as adults do. According to this view, Oliver will progress through step-like developmental stages, each with unique features. Discontinuous development often regards changes in thinking, feelings, and behaviours as qualitative changes, rather than quantitative. Imagine climbing a staircase, with each step your child takes leading towards a more mature and organized way of functioning. Unlike continuous development, here the changes in your child’s cognitions, emotions, behaviour, comprehension happens suddenly as they move from one stage to another, and then stand still for a while on that step until the next one happens. In other words, change is sudden rather than gradual and ongoing. In this view children rapidly change as they step up to a new level and then change little for a while until they reach adulthood.

In the UK, child services and health visitors rely on the Ages and Stages Framework (Department for Education 2023) to conduct child developmental reviews. This framework evaluates child development by observing milestones or stages and incorporates annual assessments during the child's initial three years. These evaluations are usually conducted by the health visitor or nursery staff during a meeting with a parent or carer. Rest assured; this is just a regular check-up to ensure your child's healthy development and identify any possible delays early on. When the time comes, it is crucial to be truthful when completing the questionnaire. It is perfectly normal if your child does not reach all the developmental milestones, so there is no need to feel ashamed. Every child grows and learns at their own unique pace. However, it is important to be truthful about any areas where your child may not be reaching the milestones.

(2) One course of development or many?

It is often said that children come in all shapes and sizes, therefore it is important to recognise that each child is truly unique. They possess their own distinct interests, personalities, and skills. Can we say for sure that all children develop in the same way, or does development follow different paths based on each child's genetics and environment, in other words, their unique contexts? Stage theorists (discontinuous development) hold the view that people everywhere follow the same sequence of development, or with other words they believe development is universal. Let us exemplify with a child development domain: cognition. A stage theorist might try to identify the common influences that lead children to represent their world through language and make-believe play in early childhood, to think more logically and systematically in middle childhood, and to reason more systematically and abstractly in adolescence. On the other hand, supporters of the notion that there is more than one course of development, and development is not universal suggest that children grow up in a wide range of locations and cultures, each with their own unique contexts. These contexts, influenced by a combination of personal and genetic factors as well as environmental circumstances, all can contribute to differences in their development. Consider a child who would be born at the same time as yours, but in Africa. His parents belong to the Hadza tribe, one of the few remaining hunter-gatherer communities. It is obvious that customs and cultures will have a significant impact on the development of both the Hadza child and yours given their respective contexts. Your child would participate in formal educational settings, such as compulsory schooling. In contrast, the Hadza child's education would be less formal. He would most likely learn important skills like hunting and foraging, just like other members of the tribe. This child's education would be more focused on practical skills and survival techniques than academic subjects. Different environmental factors (home, child-care centre, school, and neighbourhood) and personal circumstances (such as heredity and biological make up) foster different cognitive capacities, social skills, and feelings about the self and others. As you will see later in this lesson, contemporary theorists regard the contexts that shape development as complex and indeed influential factor of children’s development.

(3) The nature VS nurture debate: What causes development?

I am sure you have encountered this well-known debate at some point. Each theory addresses the question of what causes development, alongside the direction and course of development. What are the main factors influencing development: environmental or genetic? And which of these factors has a greater impact on development? By nature, we understand the inborn, biological givens, the hereditary information received from our parents at the moment of conception. Nurture refers to the intricate influences of the physical and social environments on our physical and psychological development after birth. All theories consider both innate characteristics and upbringing, but they prioritize them differently. Consider the following questions. Are older children's advanced thinking skills a result of genetic predisposition or primarily influenced by parental and teacher guidance? Are they naturally inclined to behave this way, or is it due to the extensive guidance they receive from their parents during their formative years? How do children vary significantly from one another in terms of height, weight, physical coordination, intelligence, personalities, and social skills?

A balanced point of view

We have discussed fundamental challenges in child development from different perspectives, considering solutions that lean towards opposing views. Some thinkers of today contend that both continuous and discontinuous change take place. Many agree that development encompasses characteristics that are common to all individuals as well as unique to each person, influenced by their circumstances. An increasing number of people believe that heredity and environment are strongly connected, with both influencing the qualities and abilities of the child. Many theoretical perspectives have been validated by research considering the complex factors influencing human development and the challenges in isolating their specific effects. Despite ongoing debates, the exploration of diverse viewpoints has also encouraged a more balanced perspective on child development. This balanced perspective acknowledges the importance of both nature and nurture in shaping an individual's development. It highlights the need for an integrated approach that considers the interplay between genetic predispositions and environmental influences.

Historical background of child development

Understanding how children have been viewed and treated in the past can provide valuable insights into current beliefs and practices surrounding child development. By examining historical perspectives, we can gain a deeper understanding of how societal attitudes towards children have evolved over time. This section is valuable as it has significantly influenced our current educational standards, child-care advice, and curriculums in nurseries and schools. Understanding the historical treatment of children can also shed light on the impact of past practices on present-day issues such as child