My ELDER BROTHER

By Dr. C.A. Goosby

This book features abundant life experienced by a Christian family and their struggles on earth.

As they address the dying process, death, bereavement/grief, grieving with hope, celebration

of legacy, and eternal life. Moreover In this book experiential, professional, theological and

Biblical perspectives are reviewed to help others during critical times of loss, sorrow,

acceptance and recovery. This book is for those seeking the comfort, care and recovery Christ

affords

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hawes & Jenkins Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 8, 2024
• ISBN: 9781637842782

Book preview

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My ELDER BROTHER

Dr. C.A. Goosby

ISBN 978-1-63784-277-5 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63784-278-2 (digital)

Copyright © 2024 by Dr. C.A. Goosby

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Hawes & Jenkins Publishing

16427 N Scottsdale Road Suite 410

Scottsdale, AZ 85254

www.hawesjenkins.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

FLASH BACK MEMORY PERSPECTIVE

Snapshots of Fred's Story

A Hero Shines

The Power of a Mother's Prayers

My Elder Brother's History

The Health Clinic

An Unforgettable Funeral

An Encounter with Bullies

Runaway Child Adventure

We Became Our Elder Brother's Responsibility

The Military Enlistment Saga

The Beat of a Different Drummer

The Car Keys Search Challenge

The Shooting

Growing, Grown, Gone

The Privacy Act

The Bucket List

Fred's Earthly Journey was Nearing an End

A CLINICAL PERSPECTIVE

The Need for Help

Grief

Grief with hope

Bereavement and Holidays

The Clinician Becomes the Client

Closure Letter to my Elder Brother Fred

THEOLOGICAL AND BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE

A Hero's Hero

Theological Threads and Weaving

Imagining Heaven

Letter To My Elder Brother: Jesus The Christ

A Siblings Prayer

THE ROYAL FAMILY INVITATION AND WELCOME TO THE KINGDOM

Our Elder Brother's Legacy

The comfort of Heaven

The Afterlife

Memories

An Invitation and Royal Family Welcome

Notes

References

About the Author

Part I

FLASH BACK MEMORY PERSPECTIVE

Snapshots of Fred's Story

Frederick Smith Jr. was born May 11, 1943. He was the firstborn child of my mother, Evelyn Gloria Brown-Smith. His biological father was Frederick Smith, Sr. The relationship that brought Fred, Jr. into this world ended, and Evelyn later married my dad, Milton John Bundy.

Milton Bundy was previously married and had a son named John Milton Bundy. John Milton, my brother, was a year younger than Fred. John Milton (aka Lil Milt), dad's firstborn son, continued living with his mother and later his step-father. Though we lived in different households, we somehow became very close as siblings.

Fred never wavered in his role as the elder brother. Even Lil Milt realized that Fred was going to assume an aggressive and dominate role within the family dynamic. Fred and Lil Milt became very close because they were nearly the same age. They were like biological brothers, with Fred assuming the protective role in Lil Milt's life as well.

For years, Fred was a mainstay of the household, the strong man. Mom gave him a lot of power and authority within the home. She relied upon him heavily, and Fred was eager to please and protect. When he returned home from the military, she happily allowed him to come back home and resume his family leadership role. After all, Dad was already in the grave.

It probably seemed fitting to let Fred pick up where he left off after four years in the army service. This time, Fred was officially an adult over 21 years old. For some reason, as I was growing up, there were times when I grew weary of Fred's strong man image and resented it as it related to a boy I was fond of and was greatly attracted to: Jerome Smith.

When Fred realized that I had a huge crush on Jerome, Fred took every opportunity to threaten, harass, bully, and frighten Jerome away from me. At this time, my father was dead; however, Fred was going to serve as a father figure protecting his daughter/sister. Jerome feared Freddie and was careful not to come around me after school or when Fred was home.

We had to sneak around to see each other, because Fred was persistent and volatile when it came to his role as the man of the house. He was more territorial than a pit bull over a doggie treat. Dad was a great provider. He was the bread winner, but Fred was always looked at as the man of the house, even as a child. Often times, Dad would work two jobs to meet his family obligations. While Dad was alive, Mom was a housewife. Now that I look back, the roles in our home were confusing, overlapping and somewhat dysfunctional, but God made it work for the good of all within the family.

There are some life events that are very difficult to forget. Some relationships are so important and powerful that they will always be remembered, for your entire life, and sometimes these relationships go on for decades, as was the case with my beloved elder brother. Within our blended family, relationship bonding and attachments were encouraged and enforced.

Evelyn and Milton had three children together. William (a.k.a. Billy) was born first, followed by the birth of yours truly, Carolyn, a year and five months later. Fred was 10 years old when I was born. Family time investments are critical to relationships, especially in the lives of children in their formative years. As we make value deposits of an emotional, psychological, spiritual and physical nature into a young life-treasury, we must prioritize and sort our values and legacy gifts.

…the telling of our life story is a gift of legacy that can touch our loved ones for generations to come, Lois Mowday Rabey writes in her book, Women of a Generous Spirit. Our blended family would take the blood-is-thicker-than-water theme to a new plateau. Later, we would discover that the Holy Spirit was by far thicker than blood. The Lord was revered and honored and valued in our home and family.

Mom would enforce that concept, and Dad, while he was alive, would give her the space and authority to address matters of faith and education however she saw fit, including through corporal punishment. She believed and frequently quoted, Spare the rod and spoil the child. (Proverbs 13:24).

She was of the view that "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15 KJV) This was before the days of child