Whispering Waves

By Henna Karhu

With money tight and relationship on the rocks, a holiday in Scotland is like the breath of fresh air I desperately need. What would be a more perfect place to get a moment of peace than an old manor in the middle of nowhere?

 

At first, everything seems to be perfect. I have my friends and a guy who finally gets me – even as he gets on my nerves. I don't even care about the weird things that seem to happen all around us, when the soft sounds of the waves lull me to sleep every night.

 

When the voices of the sea grow louder, all new and beautiful starts to crumble. Is love enough to save us?

 

Whispering Waves is a contemporary love story about friends falling in love. It's a romance novel with some dream-like magical reality elements. It's suitable for both young adult and adult readers.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Henna Karhu
• Release date: Oct 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9798224169764

Book preview

Whispering Waves

Henna Karhu

Published by Henna Karhu, 2023.

Henna Karhu

Whispering Waves

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Copyright © 2024 Henna Karhu

All rights reserved.

Table of contents

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Erin

I woke up with my heart pounding and soaked in sweat. My blanket was all around me. I’d pushed my pillow against the headboard and gasped for air as I’d never breathe properly again. Black dots danced in front of my eyes, my hands were shaking, and for a moment, I had no idea where I was. I held on to my bed like it was the only safe thing in my world and blinked a few times to shake off the last bits of my dream.

I had closed my eyes for a moment to take a nap and had had the same nightmare as many times before. It never changed, and even though I never remembered any precise details, the waves, black vortexes, the coldness, and the feeling of drowning always followed me long after I woke up. Even though my mouth and lungs had been full of water in the dream, my throat felt as dry as the sand. I sat up in my bed and tried to free myself from my blanket.

I’d had these nightmares since I was a little girl. When the dreams had started to come more often when I was a teenager, my stepmom had taken me to see a doctor and a psychologist. The doctor had just shrugged and said that kids had nightmares and it was a suppressed memory or a past trauma that tried to surface now, no pun intended. The only problem with that was that I’d never been even close to drowning, so I’d just decided that I wouldn’t be afraid of sleeping because of those dreams. So what if I’d only recently let my hair grow because, in the dream, I could feel vividly the long, wet tendrils around my arms and neck that wanted to tie me to the bottom of the lake like some alien tentacles? So I just tied my hair into a ponytail every night and every day. Maybe one day, I’d finally let them loose.

Maybe.

When my heartbeat finally calmed, I looked around and took a deep, freeing breath. The tiny flat I rented was a mess. The open suitcases were so full I couldn’t close them, books had taken over my only chair, and the little dresser near the door was covered in junk. The remains of my breakfast sat forgotten on a lonely little table, and in the middle of it all was a pile of clothes that had my suitcases fearing the day I’d leave this house.

Frustration rose in my throat, but I made myself get up. I only had an hour before I had to go, so I’d better get moving. I went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water to soothe my throat and tied my hair again into a ponytail. Some loose curls tickled my neck as I kept packing my things, but I tried to ignore them.

I threw my clothes aimlessly into piles around the room and tried to think what the weather would be like in two months when the sounds of my heavy rock ringtone broke the silence. I thought about letting the call go to voicemail when I remembered that my old spare phone didn’t have that option. My phone had broken when my now ex-roommate poured orange juice onto it as a final goodbye. We hadn’t been too good a team.

I smiled to myself as I folded my jeans and tried to close the zipper in a suitcase, but it vanished as my phone rang even louder, and I almost twisted my ankle as I jumped to reach for it. The call caught my curses as I held onto my sore toe.

- Hi.

- Took you long enough.

Mark. A feeling that was supposed to be warmth and longing but felt more like hesitation and fear crept through me suddenly.

- I wasn’t expecting your call. Didn’t you have some work thing to attend? I glanced at the clock and made a face as I realised that time had really flown. I had to hurry if I wanted to make it to work. I held the phone to my ear as I headed back to my bedroom for a change of clothes. I studied at the university but worked evenings as a waitress in a bar because I’d never be able to pay my rent otherwise.

I really had to start to look for a new roommate.

The line was silent for a moment and I was surprised to hear the seriousness in Mark’s voice as he finally spoke.

- You know that I like you, right? The line broke his voice and made it sound mechanic and metallic. I held the phone tighter to my ear to hear better. That was a beginning that never bodes well.

- Yeah? I hated how my voice broke a little towards the end of that lousy word.

- I can’t make it.

I sighed and gave up trying to undress. – Why?

The line had to be bad. Actually, no, I wouldn’t blame it, as I wasn’t even surprised to hear his words. It wasn’t the line that was broken but the man on the other end. He repeated the same things every month, like a broken record.

- I can’t make it to Scotland. You’ll have to go with just Ava and Will.

- What’s stopping you? I tried to sound casual as I bit my lip to keep my anger inside. Nothing could break Mark and his calmness; I’d just make a fool of myself if I started to yell. Even though that wouldn’t be anything new, it had been like this since we’d started dating. Mark had made me look like a fool more than once in the past three years. Other people’s attention had made no difference to him or his words, loving or otherwise. His icy demeanour and good upbringing didn’t crack in front of other people, ever. Sometimes, I wondered if he had any feelings for me in his heart, but that thought always flew away just as quickly as it popped into my mind.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly as Mark said something, and I tried to hear him through the buzz of the traffic I could hear in the background.

- My mother is worse, again. The doctor said she might not live for much longer.

- Her being ill didn’t matter when we planned this, I said coldly. My self-control broke after all, but I forgave myself immediately. A woman was allowed some vices, and speaking up to herself was good. If only I’d learn to do it in a better way.

Mark’s mother and her imaginary diseases had always been one stumbling block in our relationship. Not only did she have one illness after another, but she also could not see anything wrong with her precious little boy. I’d swallowed my sharpest words so many times when she’d point out how, in his thirties, he was older and, therefore, more mature and wiser. I made a noise in my throat as anger tried to bubble over me. Sometimes, people were so gullible and blind, myself included.

- I’m sorry, I said, even if I wasn’t sorry at all. - I just... If I'd heard this yesterday, I could have asked someone else to come with me. I sounded whiny and pitiful even to my ears and hated that Mark made me feel that way more often than anyone else. Outside, a car honked its horn as I waited for his answer.

- I’m sorry, I said. It won’t be so long after all. The voice on the other end was emotionless, and I felt like I was talking to a robot. A cold, lifeless, and emotionless robot.

- Well, if you think that way, I have nothing more to say. I have to go now. Let Ava know, will you? I’ll call her too, but it wouldn’t be fair for them for you to just ghost them. Bye.

I felt a brief flash of satisfaction as I ended the call without a goodbye and stared at the silent phone for a moment before calling Ava. I had to tell the others; it wasn’t like I could keep Mark’s absence a secret even if I wanted to. I sat on my bed, twisted my ponytail and looked around my tiny room, wondering what I’d still need to pack as the phone rang and rang. I pulled another shirt over my head and wrestled with it for a minute. Maybe I should think about what to leave at home instead, I pondered and grimaced at the empty room. Finally, Ava answered, sounding annoyingly cheery as always.

- What’s up, redhead? Why do you call?

I stood and started to brush my hair as I made a face to myself. Red hair, green eyes, and freckles were something that had been pointed out to me too many times when I was growing up. Unfortunately, I also got the redheaded spirit - which was still significant even though I was only five feet tall.

- Nothing. Has Mark called you?

- Why would he do that?

- He’s not coming because his mother is sick again. I just thought that maybe he’d call you, too. I could hear her curse softly. - Don’t stay quiet for me, I managed to say dryly.

- Just tell me again, my dear friend, what do you see in that man? You can’t keep going like this for much longer. Or at least you shouldn’t put up with him anymore. You know very well that this isn’t the first time he’s left you hanging like a dead branch on a tree.

What a lovely image.

I didn’t say anything because I knew more than well that Ava was right. I had sat alone in the movies with just an empty seat beside me countless times.

- Maybe we’ll break up one day, but we didn’t do it today. I still have feelings for him.

I just wasn’t sure what those feelings were, but I wasn’t going to poke around that thought with Ava on the phone. That discussion asked for chocolate, wine, and a warm blanket.

Ava was silent for a moment. - My boss is waiting for me in an hour, so I’ll get back to you. I will just leave my keys and grab some of my things. It’s my last day there today.

- Call you later, was all Ava said before the line went silent.

A quick stop became five hours of last-minute work, and as I finally left to go home, my phone was full of unread messages. Ava had made a group chat for his boyfriend, his cousin, and me, and it had blown during my last unplanned shift. I opened the first one, curious to see what they were talking about, and scrolled through them, barely glancing at the words.

Ava: We have a problem.

Kim: You say that as if it’s a new thing.

Ava: Do you want to hear it or not?

Kim: Please do tell.

Ava: Mark called Erin. Will might have told you this already, but we were supposed to visit Scotland to see a manor I inherited from my grandmother. We were going to renovate it a little.

I smiled to myself. Will had just graduated as a building engineer, and Ava would use his skills to get the price up before selling the house.

Ava: As you can guess, Mark can’t make it.

Will: That’s not a surprise.

Ava: I didn’t say I have a surprise. I said I had a problem.

Kim hadn’t answered, so he probably wasn’t surprised. He’d heard a complaint or two about my boyfriend in the last few years we’d been friends. I grimaced inwardly as I scrolled on.

Will: He should pay for his ticket anyway. It’s too late to cancel, and I don’t want to lose that money.

Kim: When are you leaving?

Will: Tomorrow, too early in the morning.

Will: What are you going to do next week?

Kim: Should I spend my holiday with your parents?

Ava: I guess your bags are still packed? Or did you unpack yet?

Kim: I didn’t. It’s a bit frustrating to go back home the minute I arrived, but I’m okay with that. Your parents are lovely, but I must admit I came to see you more than them.

Will: It’s a deal, then.

The last message was sent fifteen minutes ago, and I joined the conversation as I walked to my car.

Erin: It’s nice knowing you think so highly of my boyfriend. His mother is quite sick.

I got my answer almost immediately.

Will: His mother would be dead if she had all those diseases.

I decided to ignore that as pain twisted low in my gut.

Erin: Please come with us, Kim, if you want to. I don’t care who’s going to use that ticket. Mark promised to pay for his flights, but I wouldn’t hold my breath about that.

Ava: Good that you’re finally coming to your senses. More time for me and Will to spend together...

This time, my grimace made it to my face.

Will: I’ll see you tomorrow morning. We’ll pick up Ava first and be by your house at seven, Erin.

I closed my phone and got to my car. Maybe everything would be all right after all.

2

Erin

As the little alarm clock on my bedside table rang at six, I rubbed my tired eyes, reluctant to get up. I had slept poorly, as always, before travelling, and the beginnings of a headache throbbed somewhere behind my eyes. I sighed, threw the blanket away, put my jeans on, and dragged myself toward the kitchen.

The bags were waiting in the hallway, finally packed, and the fridge was empty. I had made my breakfast the night before, and I was sitting by the window eating it with a lukewarm cup of tea as the rising sun painted the sky grey, and rain clouds spotted the sky in response to the hot sun the day before. The radio played some old, melancholy song I didn’t recognise and turned it off.

It’s only September, I thought angrily. I loved summer, and Ava had once said that I would get bored with the constant sunshine, that the autumn rain and the winter wind only highlighted the beauty of summer and helped me enjoy them. However, I dared to disagree. I was constantly cold every winter, and I would take my sun and warmth anywhere, anytime, and anyhow I could have it.

The demanding rattle of the doorbell shook me from my thoughts, and I poured the rest of my drink to sink as I walked to the door. Will had a dark leather jacket on his shoulders and a few raindrops on his hair, and he shook them off as he stepped inside. He had been dating my best friend since high school after they’d met in a teamwork project. Sometimes, I hoped Will would stop overthinking and just put the ring on Ava’s finger.

Blond hair brushed my cheek as the man wrapped one relaxed arm around me, and I rose to my tiptoes to hug him back.

- Ready to go?

- Just a second. I rinsed my cup, threw a green jacket on to protect my head, grabbed my other bag and turned to lock the door as Will carried the heavier one down the stairs. His car was waiting just by the door as traffic was still light at this hour, and I opened the back door to sit next to Kim. The man waved his hand at me, and his dark eyes twinkled with joy as I smiled a little and nodded back.

Kristian Hayes, or Kim as he preferred, was Will’s cousin, a few years older than me and handsome as sin. I’d met him ten years earlier on Ava’s birthday when Will had brought his cousin with him. We had gotten along right away, and our friendship had since lasted our studies, the failures of other relationships, and a few vacations together. I hadn’t seen Kim in a year, as he had been finishing his studies and had worked a lot. We still called and texted every week, but I missed our evenings together when we used just to sit and watch a movie or do puzzles together without saying a word. However, he’d finally graduated as a doctor and took a break before returning home to continue his father’s practice. The denim jacket made a harsh sound as Kim turned to face me.

- No sportswear today? I didn’t miss the ugly things he sometimes wore, although they were better for my mental health than those form-fitting jeans and a dark t-shirt he’d decided to wear today. Will grinned, and his blue eyes glanced at me through the rearview mirror.

- This lazy man decided to take a break.

Kim's expression didn't change as those dark eyes bore into mine. - You know that answer doesn’t define which one of us you are talking about.

A wooden, round-headed walking stick rested between us, leaning on the seat. Kim had been using it for as long as I could remember, even though he’d never told me why he needed a cane. I hadn’t dared to say anything about it at first, and when I’d finally gathered my courage and asked about it, Kim had dodged my question. I had thought he had misunderstood me, but when the same thing happened a second time, the rejection had been sharp and sure as he’d made clear he wouldn’t answer my questions.

Even though I had been offended that we could talk about anything else but that, I hadn’t been mad at him for too long. After all, I also had my secrets that I didn’t like to discuss, so who was I to question his choices? So I let it be.

Kim stretched his sore leg to the gap between the front seats, but he lowered it back to the floor when he noticed my gaze. I turned my eyes to Ava, who explained something about the upcoming flight, ashamed that he still felt like he had to hide anything from me.

For most of the trip to the airport, I just stared out the window into the grey morning and thought of Mark and his long working days. Maybe I should just give up and stop trying to be with him. Sometimes, a relationship was like a nice shirt, warm and familiar. Or a smelly, worn-out rag, a voice in my mind whispered, but I ignored it as sadness crept over me and made my eyes water.

Raindrops began to streak out the window like they could read my mood, pouring along with the glass as if wiping away the past, as Kim's soft voice cut off my thoughts.

- So Ava inherited a house?

It was endearing how he was willing to come with us with absolutely no idea of where exactly he was going.

- We’re going to clean it up and make it habitable. Ava’s grandmother was in poor shape for her last years, and no one knows what the house looks like now, I answered.

- Had she lived in it for long?

- Sort of, Ava answered. - Grandma bought it twenty years ago when the previous residents died. There was no heir, and the house had been empty for a long time. She lived in it for as long as she could, but she just couldn’t keep up with the maintenance and other things in the last years. However, it should not collapse on our necks, Ava stated dryly, but I heard the sorrow underneath her words. She had loved her grandmother. I opened my mouth to say something as compassion squeezed my heart, but Will spoke first.

- Here we are. Where do you want me to drop you off? We’re on time, but I can look for a parking space after I’ve taken you to the door if it’s more comfortable for you.

Will's smile was warm, and I sighed with sudden longing as he stroked Ava's feet quickly. Maybe someday I would find a man who’d pay attention to my feelings and moods as he did to Ava.

-Let’s just look for a parking space. The flight departs from the other end of the field, and the other side of the building should be closer to the gate. Drive there, Kim suggested.

- Like you can't walk. Will sounded sceptic.

- I do walk, but not in the rain, Kim replied, opening the car door as Will stopped in the parking lot behind the terminal. – Do you?

It was afternoon when the plane finally landed, and after having a quick late lunch at the airport, we took a taxi to the train. The flight had been short, but we still had several hours to travel before getting to the little village where Ava’s house was. The weather was rainy and grey, and the wagon department was invitingly warm as I carried my bags inside. Two old ladies muttered something about coffee and left their places before we even got our jackets off, leaving the cosy space to us.

The journey went quickly as we laughed, played cards, and chatted without paying much attention to the scenery flickering behind the window. I sent a short message to Mark that our flight had landed successfully and put the phone back in my pocket. Nausea tried to creep up my throat, but it was surely just the train making me sick. No way was I afraid that Mark wouldn’t answer.

The high buildings of the urban area changed into lower ones, and the suburbs marked by stone houses changed into meadows, fields, and small patches of forest as the hours passed. I got lost in the beautiful scenery, forgetting totally to even think about checking my messages and letting the cheerful chatter pass by my ears like it was just an amusing hum.

When we finally got to the village, Will held the train door open as we carried our bags to the old stone pier. It was quiet, just a short space where the passengers could wait. At the edge of it stood a station building, an old wooden cottage, and a single fluorescent tube shone through its windows, illuminating the few people standing outside. One of them parted from the crowd and approached us like Ava had summoned him.

- Welcome, he said loudly and held out his hand to each of us. He was in his sixties, stocky, and already a little bald. The remaining hair was white as the snow, giving him a harsh look the friendly-looking dark blue eyes could barely soften.

- I'm John Clifton, and this is my wife, Susan, he introduced. Only then did I notice the long and skinny woman standing behind him. She smiled kindly and nodded like a puppet, and I took a step closer to Kim without even realising what I was doing. The setting sun brought out silver streaks among the light brown strands, and she seemed to be perhaps a decade younger than her husband. Her brown eyes were careful, but the wrinkles in their corners suggested that she’d laugh often.

- We went to the city to buy more food and other things, so we came with the whole family, John told us and pointed to the two young people standing beside him. Keith, as he introduced himself, was a little over twenty and pale, whereas five years older, Samantha was dark as night.

Kim introduced us, and I waved my hand at the family, feeling slightly off. I had always been bad at meeting new people, and as if sensing my discomfort, Kim draped his arm lightly around my shoulder as if to support me, and even as the touch was fleeting, it stayed there for the moment I needed it. I smiled wearily, but luckily, the others didn’t pay much attention to me.

I wrapped my arms around me as the cold started to seep through my thin jacket, and I tried to hide the yawn that surprised even me. It wasn’t even nine o’clock yet, but I had been up the previous night for a long time, finishing one dissertation to get most of my studies done before the trip. The rubble creaked under my feet, and one stone slipped into my shoe, rubbing my heel painfully as we finally set off to walk towards the family’s cars.

Ava immediately held onto Susan’s forearm, and judging by the gestures, there was no need to search for a topic to talk about for a long time. They had two cars, and Ava and Will got into the first one without even glancing back at us. I shook my head at Kim.

- I guess that settles where we’re going to ride, he