Wall

By Red Umbrell

From the very beginning, the life of the main character, Oxi, is a jungle of loss and loneliness through which she wanders.

. Oxi builds a mental wall between herself and the rest of the world so that she can live some sort of life, by her own standards, a life that would be devoid of problems, free from physical and emotional pain.

Everything that happened to her in life is just another brick in the growing wall of life

. Oxi builds a mental wall between herself and the rest of the world so that she can live some sort of life, by her own standards, a life that would be devoid of problems, free from physical and emotional pain.

Everything that happened to her in life is just another brick in the growing wall of life

• Language: English
• Publisher: Red Umbrell
• Release date: Mar 20, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224235605

Book preview

Let's be silent and dream... Or perhaps we are already dreaming and will wake up?

Foreword by the author

FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, the life of the main character, Oxi, is a jungle of loss and loneliness through which she wanders. She was born in a cold and desolate land. Without a father and mother. Left to be an orphan. Raised in the embrace of a troubled surrogate mother, who showered her with both love and frustrations, nurturing various fears within her. Oxi builds a mental wall between herself and the rest of the world so that she can live some sort of life, by her own standards, a life that would be devoid of problems, free from physical and emotional pain.

Everything that happened to her in life is just another brick in the growing wall of life: childhood without a father and mother; the communist country Soviet Union, conservative and repressive education, a superficial and responsibility-free life, a detached marriage as an escape from the harsh communist reality, endless drinking intended to bring her relief... each of those bricks in that imaginary wall distances her further from the outside world, into madness, reserving a place in the wall for the last one.

Slowly but surely, Oxi's shattered mental structure slowly consolidates into a destructive person who is no different from the one who ravaged the world in World War II and marked life with sorrow from birth. At the last moment, Oxi realizes the destructiveness of total mental isolation. She seeks solace in relationships with men, hoping they will set her free.

Red Umbrell

Orlovaca Cemetery

Oxi stretched out in the coffin. Her legs ached. It felt like she was underground. Her mother's words, spoken long ago, echoed in her head: Friends are our rare wealth.

She rested. The earth in which the coffin lay was damp, soft, and fragrant. Pain collected in knee-sized cups. Her knees cracked, and the pain spread through her limbs. It seemed as though the coffin's boards were breaking apart from the intensity of her pain.

She couldn't remember how long she had been here. Images passed through her mind like a fog: gunshots in the night, the light and sirens of various police and ambulance cars, the smell of incense in the chapel and the smell of corpses around her. All those scents tickled her nostrils. It was so dark in the coffin that she couldn't see her hands in front of her eyes.

It was getting colder and tighter. She began to scream: I'm alive, let me out of here. In panic, she scratched at the coffin walls, but only tore her nails.

No one responded. Grave silence.

She tried to turn around, but couldn't. It was tight. A mild faintness began to take hold of her.

She began to dream. The kaleidoscope of life began to unfold. Various images, black and white, and in color, danced before her eyes.

SHE SAW HER REAL MOTHER holding her in her arms. Tears in her eyes as she hugged and kissed her for the last time. Or maybe there were no tears? Maybe she just handed her over, turned away, and left, as if nothing had