FOR THE STAGE: ONE LUMP OR TWO? - MISTER HITLER: Freud, Stalin, Trotsky, Tito & Hitler - Central Coffeehouse Vienna 1913- (Cast 8)

By Jonathan R. P. Taylor

This title is a stageplay adaptation (Acting edition) from the novel of the same name. It is a fact that all 5 men lived in Vienna at the same time - There is no historical account of the time that factually clarifies that Hitler met Trotsky, or if Stalin knew Tito, or if Freud knew any of them at all. Maybe they never did but let’s just imagine for a moment that they did. For the purpose of this stage play, the question now becomes - what on earth would they have found the time to talk about…

Single location / Cast: 8 - The Central Coffeehouse, Vienna. Also available from this publisher in printed book format.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Dec 16, 2023
• ISBN: 9781304813206

Book preview

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©Brittunculi Records & Books 2023

One Lump Or Two? - Mister Hitler

Imprint: Lulu ISBN: 978-1-304-81320-6                             

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Jonathan R. P. Taylor

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ONE LUMP OR TWO? - MISTER HITLER

Freud, Tito, Trotsky, Stalin & Hitler VIENNA: 1913

Jonathan R. P. Taylor

SYNOPSIS: The Vienna of 1913, the capital of the Austro-Hungarian Empire, is likened to a cultural soup that attracted those with ambition from faraway lands across the empire. An empire which then exceeded a population of 50 million and consisting of no less than 15 nations. The Emperor, Franz Joseph, presided over all of this from the luxury and security of the Hofburg Palace. His heir, Archduke Franz Ferdinand, who resided in the Belvedere Palace, eagerly awaited his time on the throne. Balkan nations that flexed their muscles through land grabs following the collapse of the Ottoman empire vied for greater control and this led to his assassination (during a Royal visit to Serbia) in 1914, and would ignite WW1.

The intellectual community was small; it was a city where everyone knew one another. A city of 2 million where less than fifty percent were native born Viennese. A quarter of its population were from Bohemia and Moravia and Czech was spoken as a dominant language, alongside German, this was the norm. It was a city that spoke countless languages and where army officials were required to issue orders in at least 12 different mother tongues. The state was losing control and one could easily hide away, unnoticed, and unchallenged. A political climate where all was perfect for the political dissident and/or others who found themselves to be on the run from someone or something, elsewhere. In 1913, almost 1,500 Viennese committed suicide, out of desperation to escape the vast filthy and crawling slums of the time.

As history now informs us, we know that the Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin (Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili) arrived in Vienna for one month during the year 1913. He was there alongside Leon Trotsky and Nikolay Bukharin to author the political work: Marxism and the National Question. Stalin and Trotsky were both in political exile, fleeing Czarist Russia.

First attempts at a Russian revolutionary in 1905 had failed. Leon Trotsky had now founded the ideological newspaper: Pravda. He lived in the city of Vienna, writing, between the years 1907 - 1914. A young metal worker, Josip Broz, was also found to be there, residing amongst the city’s quarters, before he was later drafted into the Austro-Hungarian army. We know that man today as the former Yugoslav leader: Marshal Tito.

At this time, Sigmund Freud was a respected practitioner, and well established in Berggasse. Fleeing persecution, he left Vienna in 1938, this as Austria became annexed by the Nazi’s. The leader of which, Adolf Hitler, was also known to be in Vienna during the year 1913, and pursuing the dreams of any would be young artist of the time in wishing to join the Vienna Academy of Art.

At the end of WW1, 1918 would witness the Austro-Hungarian Empire crumble, shattered into pieces and become redundant on the greater world stage. Whilst Freud himself now lived in Great Britain (1939), as a refugee, the great though historically infamous dictators; Stalin, Hitler, Trotsky and Tito would all soon rise to power. Their beliefs and ideologies would lead to the killing of untold millions.

There is no historical account of the time that factually clarifies that Hitler met Trotsky, or if Stalin knew Tito, or if Freud knew any of them at all. Maybe they never did but let’s just imagine for a moment that they did. For the purpose of this book, the question now becomes - what on earth would they have found the time to talk about…

ONE LUMP OR TWO? - MISTER HITLER

Stage Adaptation

Newspaper: Vienna_konzert_Karikatur_in_Die_Zeit_vom_6._April_1913.

Public domain.

Genre: Dark Comedy

Cast: 8

Words Spoken: Waitress: 3806 (Regina Wiener) Trotsky: 3345

Bucharin: 1107

Tito: 4524

Stalin: 3823

Freud: 3966

Hitler: 4721

*Hawker: 1289

Additional cast: Unlimited Coffeehouse Patrons.

The stage is set for one single location: The interior of the Central Coffeehouse (Vienna). To the far left of stage is Freud’s writing bureau, chair, a rug and tall floor lamp, to the far right of stage is Hawker’s newspaper vending stand (Possibly a hand-pulled cart). Centre back is the coffee house entrance door, a single ‘open’ window is to the left of it. To the right of the doorway is the coffeehouse serving counter.

The role of *Hawker can easily be merged into that of Bucharin reducing the essential cast to 7. However, it is my humble opinion that this should be avoided as Hawker adds what I feel to be essential flow and direction by bouncing off ‘the waitress’.

Scripts can be hidden in multiple locations to reduce the burden on the speaking cast, behind the counter for the waitress, and/or within newspapers / menus etc. for the gentlemen. The script can also be shared out at the Director’s discretion amongst the ‘unlimited number of coffeehouse patrons’, if preferred. Accordingly, repeating the gentlemen’s words as ‘overheard conversation’.

NOTE: Generally speaking, women were not permitted entry to the coffeehouse of 1913. Further humour is carried when the cast of ‘Unlimited Coffeehouse Patrons’ effortlessly becomes a cast of women secretly dressed as men. The role of Adolph Hitler can equally be presented by such a woman. Whilst Freud, Tito, Hitler, Trotsky, and Stalin are all considered to be quite young in 1913, I would encourage directors to use their own discretion in presenting this play with an older cast. The characters are best portrayed as visually aged in line with historical recollection and audience familiarity.

PROLOGUE:

Opening: Waitress as dual role narrator reads to audience as she tidies, cleans tables and prepares for the day’s business.

Waitress: In the Vienna of 1913, all of what we now know to be true today, was yet to be. Sigmund Freud wrote at the time: What pathetic nonsense this young artist is full of, at times I find him to verge on pathetic drivel. Both Trotsky and I agree: he considers himself to be a great artist, but we fear he is nothing more than laughingstock.

Waitress unlocks door and greets customers. Leon Trotsky arrives first, Now seated, he sips from his cup as he enjoys today’s newspaper.

Waitress: Café Central was a regular haunt for this young revolutionary. He would scrutinise the text hoping that he could understand the minds of those who contributed to the printed literature now placed upon his lap. Pouring over his words, he assimilated his ideas concerning the united international worker’s struggle: Communism. These were radical times of great upheaval and political change in Europe; and none more so than found here in the minds of the Viennese.

Trotsky enters. Seated at his favourite table in front of the central window, and after a brief atmospheric pause, Trotsky soon feels a cold chill as the draft of the coffee house door opens and the warm, smoky air exchanges with the bitter cold of the street outside. He addresses the waitress.

Trotsky: There’s quite a chill in here, my dear, I suddenly feel rather cold.

Bucharin enters alongside a short man. He has greyish brown skin, pockmarks, and notably he is sporting a large peasant’s moustache. This figure, of dark complexion, takes Trotsky by surprise – particularly his height, he is not at all as tall as Trotsky expects. The men’s reaction to each other is indifferent – unfriendly. The waitress introduces the stranger.

Waitress: Leon, these gentlemen are asking for you.

Stalin, carrying a small wooden suitcase and Bukharin carrying his cased typewriter, join Trotsky at the table.

Trotsky: Thank you my dear, yes, I’ve been expecting them.

Trotsky stands politely to greet Stalin and Bucharin. They shake hands.

Trotsky: You must be Joseph Stalin and Nikolay Bukharin, welcome to Vienna Comrades. I’ve been expecting your visit today, what a pleasure to finally meet you both.

The waitress now narrates as the three men ‘mime and gesture’ as if in detailed pollical conversation.

Waitress: They were now for the first time, all introduced to each other. After the usually expected social pleasantries customary of the day, the three men soon engage in political dialogue. Stalin had come to meet Trotsky in Vienna to write his work: Marxism and the National Question, this with comrade: Nikolay Bukharin. Trotsky’s advice was much sought after as he was held in the highest regard and trust of his counterpart: Lenin.

Lights slowly fade as if to imply significant passing of time. Audio volume slowly increases, that of ‘general coffee house chatter’ to imply that hours are now passing. Tito enters silently whilst the stage lights are down, he sits himself at an adjacent table. Bukharin also enters in darkness, he is to be found ‘scribbling away, seated with Trotsky and Stalin.

Waitress: After meeting, both Trotsky and Stalin would often be found seated together formulating their ideas, this as Bukharin eagerly scribbled away with pen to paper. Picking up on