Now I Can Think Myself to Mars: Second Edition

By Grace Hournbuckle Walker

When Grace Hournbuckle Walker talked for the last time with her eight-year-old son Nathan, he shared his joyful hope and anticipation of heaven with Jesus. This unforgettable exchange inspired Grace to create poetry and letters capturing elements of that conversat

• Language: English
• Publisher: ReadersMagnet LLC
• Release date: Mar 4, 2024
• ISBN: 9798890914828

Grace Hournbuckle Walker

Grace Hournbuckle Walker holds a master's degree in nursing from Medical College of Georgia, and a post-master's in nursing from the University of Cincinnati. After retiring from a career as a nurse practitioner and educator, the author published the 1st edition of this book in 2016. She then attended Ministry International Institute, earning a master of ministry and is now a licensed minister.

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NOW I CAN THINK MYSELF TO MARS

Copyright © 2024 2nd Edition by Grace Hournbuckle Walker

ISBN Paperback: 979-8-89091-481-1

ISBN eBook: 979-8-89091-482-8

Includes the following 3 previously copyrighted works by author.

Bedtime Prayer of a Warrior King and 3 other Unpublished works:

Bedtime Prayer of a Warrior King, Lament of a Tarnished Vessel, Remember the Potter

Registration Number TXU002353505 Date 2022-12-21

Copyright © 2022 Grace Hournbuckle Walker

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

NCV scripture taken from the New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 2011 by Biblica, Inc. TM Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc. TM

Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message, copyright c 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Professional Reviews

Sometimes you read a book and you know you’re holding something different in your hands. This book isn’t one to be read quickly or taken lightly. It is the kind of story that will stay with you long after you’ve read the last page; it’s a special book that you will think of often in the days to come. It’s a unique type of book that causes you to measure your own life and experiences thus causing a change in how you look at the world. In this book, author Grace Hournbuckle Walker takes words on a page and causes them to become three dimensional, turning those black scratch marks into virtual arrows that will pierce your heart with every page.

Walker’s book is the very model of bibliotherapy; both for the writer and for the reader. Walker wrote Now I Can Think Myself to Mars after her young son died of a freak medical occurrence. This book was the pathway for Walker through her grieving, revealing the healing process subliminally on every page. For those who have suffered such a loss, or any epic loss, reading this story will both torment and soothe. It is though, a healthy process of finding solid emotional footing after enduring a tragedy.

The narrative is actually a mixture of letters to Walker’s son Nathan after his death and poems using Nathan’s own words and other memories from a mother about her silly and warm-hearted child. The poems are organized around the last few days Walker had with her son, who showed no real signs of the impending medical crisis that would end his life. While he had some health problems, if you didn’t know how the story was going to end, you would be shocked at the suddenness of it. I think setting up the story in this way led a poignancy of the actual accounts and made every word so very important. Other poems focus on the small moments of a brief life, made even more important due to the brevity.

Throughout the story, Walker leans heavily upon her Christian faith. Each letter and poem focus on how Walker used scripture to overcome dark moments to find her inner strength and sustenance. Most amazing though, is the peace that seems to flow through Walker’s words as she wrote about her faith. It sometimes seems as if she is just catching him up on stuff before they meet again in the hereafter.

Walker’s book is not to be read easily or plowed through quickly. It’s a story that will pull apart your soul, but then will also show how to put it back together again. For anyone who has undergone such a tragedy, it’s also a textbook of how writing can help to overcome our deepest sorrows and pain. I would recommend that this book be given as a gift to those going through similar situations as well as a book that can be referred to again and again. Now I Can Think Myself to Mars: A Son’s Final Goodbye, A Mother’s Journal of Renewal can help you endure your own life heartaches.

While no one would wish for this occurrence on anyone, readers can take some comfort in knowing the life of Nathan Walker will enrich your soul. Consider this book a gift from him for having noticed the smaller things in life and for becoming the messenger for others to enjoy a richer life.

Five Star Gold Review

C. C. Thomas

Pacific Book Review

The loss of you in our lives, Nathan, was more like a hurricane force threatening to throw us off our spiritual course. However, with the peace of God in my heart and faith in his faithfulness, I know there are still good works for me to do here on earth.

This is a mother’s creative memorial to her son, Nathan, who died in 1992 not long before his ninth birthday, with no forewarning, from a twisted blood vessel in his abdomen. About a year later, the author, a nurse practitioner and educator, wrote down a phrase that reminded her of him: Mom, remember when I could travel so fast on my bike…? Now I can think myself to Mars! This Remember when/Now I… format became the basis of poems about Nathan’s impact on the family while alive and after he passed on. Walker talks to Nathan as she writes, assuming he is in heaven, can see and hear her, and will be there waiting for her when she dies. She tells Nathan about the later death of his father and her own recent struggles with recovering from an auto accident. Among her poems and spiritual reflections, she has placed her husband’s poems, revealing his private search for the meaning of his son’s death.

Now retired from her nursing career, Walker still seeks comfort and comprehension by analyzing Nathan’s life, death, and afterlife. Her poetry underscores her conviction that he is in the arms of Jesus, and swims in the river of life. In her journal entries, the author copes with life’s pains by ascribing deeper meaning. Once, stopping in the desert after driving the wrong way, she speaks to her son, alluding to Biblical verses in which the desert is an allegory for our earthly journey. Though not a practiced writer when she began her book, the author grows into the role, offering poignant insights. A book for people experiencing loss, and especially the loss of a child, Now I Can Think Myself to Mars is a gentle guidebook, presenting new paths to process their experience.

Barbara Bamberger Scott

US Review of Books

Heaven is hardly ever on the minds of modern people and it’s indicative of Christians also. The story in this book, however, is about how Heaven became very real for a little boy and a mother, and the comfort that they gleaned from Christ as she attended her dying little boy. This book is a tender read and very moving. It reflects, sadly yet redemptively, how real life is under the sun on this side of eternity. This is a book that you will carry in your heart for years to come. And it will remind you that in this life we can live with certainty about the life to come. I encourage you to cuddle up in a cozy place, let go of your preoccupations and enter into the pathos of this real-life journey. It will deliver you to a place of greater understanding and heart renewal about what’s really important in life, and how we are to live it. I have known Grace Walker for many years, and more recently watched her fight for her life as a few years ago, on a snowy day, she and her husband were in a head on collision which took his life. Making an arduous but slow recovery, she began to reflect upon her life looking at it through a different lens; and now you will hold her heart in your hands. This is powerful and good stuff. Read it thoroughly. You’ll be glad you did.

Rev. Dr. R. Edgar Bonniwell

We have been speaking with Grace Walker, author of Now I Can Think Myself to Mars. It is a touching book filled with a sincere faith and a relationship with God and Jesus and a walk with mother and son who were able to communicate so beautifully.

Grace Walker and her family are people of faith. On a travel trip, she and her son had a very meaningful conversation, especially for a child under 10. Within a short time, Nathan was gone, and their conversation reverberated within her, inviting her to share the insights gained.

Susan Sherayko

Rebuilding Your Life Radio

January 8, 2022 Episode

A Collection of

Poems and Prose

In Memory of My Beloved Son

Nathan Oliver Walker

1983-1992

A picture containing text Description automatically generated

Sketch by Shannan Hope Janney (nee Walker)

I go to prepare a place for you…

I will come back and take you to be with me

that you also may be where I am.

You know the way to the place I am going.

John 14:3b–4 NIV

Table of Contents

Professional Reviews

About the Author

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Prologue

The Final Gift

The Master Gardener

Enduring Peace

Part I—Now I Can Think Myself to Mars

1992—A Son’s Final Goodbye

1992-1997—A Mother’s Journal of Renewal

1992-2008—A Father’s Heart

A Second Strand

Your Father’s Heart

The Silent Screamer

A Trilogy—The Return of Laughter

The Hard Comedy

My Old Friend Laughter

To the Giver of the Song

Creativity in Motion

I Hear Nathan

Road to Discovery

The Two Testimonies of Rick Walker

Three Strands

Part II — Observations Since Mars

2007- 2013—Outgrowth of Renewal

Outgrowth

Playing God’s Lottery

They May Be Buzzards, But They Can Fly

Hay Canyon

Eighteen Years in Eternity Plus One

Moving Right Along

What Did You Go Out to the Desert to See?

Imperfection

Avoidance

Beautiful on the Mountains Are Feet