Horn-Horn, Cracked

By Tommy Lellan

(Book #2 in The Horn-Horn Series)

Teenager Cassie Gellar faces the ultimate balancing act: juggling high school life while harbouring a magical secret - a boy hidden in her wardrobe.

Now, a month after the events that unfolded in Book #1...

Horn-Horn High-High i

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tommy Lellan
• Release date: Feb 29, 2024
• ISBN: 9780648001492

Book preview

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This is my all time favourite fantasy series!

- Ceara, Goodreads

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The f***ing bee’s knees.

- Tamara Presley, Goodreads

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One of the most mind-bending fantasy stories ever!

- Marina Levy, Goodreads

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Got to be the most original series out there.

-James McDonald, Goodreads

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I see huge things for this series, and I can’t wait for the next one.

- Jesse Elliot, Amazon.com

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I completely connected with the main character. Perfect for young adult fans who love humour and horror.

-Rory, Goodreads

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This was the strangest book. I just couldn’t put it down!

- Merry Chapman, Amazon.com

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A stand-up comedy. And then there are the amazing odd twists!

- Gloria, Amazon.com

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This book was magic! It keeps you hooked until the very end.

- Alex Murakami, Alextheshadowgirl Blog

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Try reading this on a train and looking like a normal human being.

- Charlotte Geller, Goodreads

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Horn-Horn is a breath of fresh air in a time when many books seem to follow cookie cutter plot-lines.

- Brian Gates, Amazon.com

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The narrator has such a witty elegance to her voice of reason in this whacky setting. You can’t help relate to every woe she suffers.

- Lucianne Neptuna, Goodreads

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Wonderful premise for a story!

- Melonie Purcell, Amazon.com

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Even the characters from another world seem to be in on the gag. Nobody is particularly normal and that, ironically, seems to be the norm within the Horn-Horn universe.

- Alyssa Whicker, Goodreads

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These are the funniest fantasy books I’ve ever read!

- Callan Murphy, Goodreads

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Major potential for successor to The Hunger Games — a must-read.

- Renae Ciuffetelli, Goodreads

Table of Contents

Prologue

1.Second First Day

2.Naked Dodgeball

3.Principals

4.Bed Bugs and Hand-Shakes

5.Himmler’s Cadaver

6.Chloe's Other Other Half

7.Uranus, Saturn, Pluto!

8.The Walking Club

9.Newspapers and Parchments

10.The Fa-Fa Belt

11.Caffeine

12.It's Opal's World...

13.The Sinking Pier

14.The Jump Forward

15.Sandwich Sighting

16.High Temperatures and Higher Tempers

17.Diptera

18.Between the Books

19.Under One Roof

20.The Last Day

21.One More for the Road

22.Gas-Bragging

23.Denied

24.All the Faithful Departed

25.Elementary, My Dear Mummy

26.Smell My Feet

27.Walking into Spiderwebs

28.Capiche

29.Be Careful What You Wish For

30.Pothosia’s Precious Pumpkin

31.Captured

32.Glowing

33.Gilpin

34.Lost and Found

35.Locked in a Cage

36.Innards

37.Love Affair

38.Recovery

39.Duke Wilson’s Explanation

40.Murder

41.Fading People

42.White Horizons

43.Abducted

44.The Orphan Returns

45.The Deep End

46.Spun

47.Very Royal Regrets

48.The Little Things

49.All’s Fair in Love and Pie-Throwing

50.The Final Letter

Epilogue

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First published in 2019 by Tommy Lellan Pty Ltd.

Copyright © Tommy Lellan (1985- ) 2017

Originally published under pen-name A. D. T. McLellan.

The Horn-Horn Series © 2017.

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted by any person or entity (including Google, Amazon or similar organisations), in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

The characters in this book are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Logo and alternative art by Brandon Pfunder.

Visit www.tommylellan.com for more on this series, and its author.

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For Lachey

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Prologue

Quakers, Beware!

The quakers were fully settled into town.

Eloise Prescott was amongst the dozens, brought to Horn-Horn by the earthquakes. While her chums rented out the nearby motel rooms and camped out on the beach, she was one of the lucky ones: her parents lived in town. At twenty-one, she was new to New York City, and studying hard to become a marine biologist. However, the enticing world of earthquakes took her fancy after a fellow classmate introduced her to the world of ‘quakers’. Travelling the country for the best hot-spots, she was delighted that they thought of her old hometown as a place of interest. She knew the history of the minor quakes well, had even felt them.

Feeling like a homing pigeon, she begrudgingly put up with the air of triumph in her mother’s voice as she nestled back into her old bedroom. Convinced she knew all along that her only daughter would come back to her, Eloise made it perfectly clear — there was lots of homework to do between the quaker meetings and gatherings. She was only staying for  three days.

You’re like a bunch of hippies, her mother remarked, walking into her room bright and early one day. I hope you’re not smoking marijuana with them. Oh, and your sleep patterns are atrocious. I heard you come in at three this morning! She opened the curtains with an energetic flick of the wrists.

Glad to be out the door, Eloise met with her quaker friends by the beach and organised the day’s events. There were tremors near the town of Bailey, an hour’s drive away. They would start there.

But first: coffee.

The Pop Shop, a local hangout, was a tall and strange café, an old renovated warehouse which sat directly next to the main road and distracted from a row of quaint houses to its left and right. Maroon and dark green painted tin sheets above the main door were all that remained of the previous look. On a Monday morning like this, it was bustling with parents after drop-off.

The quakers settled amongst a set of sticky tables, near the second-landing drop. Eloise couldn’t help but notice there were two girls she’d gone to school with sitting by the bar. They were chatting to a woman on the other side of the counter, wearing the blue work uniform. That was Carol. She’d worked with her back in the day, over a brief summer. Carol was not a great person. The other two girls weren’t any better. If there was any justice in the universe, they would be stuck in a rut. But it looked like quite the opposite was afoot — the girls were still slim and boisterous, just as they’d been in high school when they bullied Eloise.

For a moment Carol caught her eye and then looked away, muttering to the girls with a grin caught to the corners of her mouth. One of the girls casually turned to look and quickly faced forward again. Great, so they were talking about her. Just what she needed.

Eloise kept her back to them. She decided to ask Joe, her kind-of boyfriend, if he could get her a long black coffee. The biggest they had. She didn’t want to chat to them, those assholes. She certainly didn’t want to give Carol any of her money.

When he came back a few minutes later, Joe handed her the drink and sat next to her, keeping his distance (he always kept his distance). Those girls said they know you. Asked me to say hello.

Eloise pretended this was news to her, and turned. Only Carol and one of the girls was looking — for the life of her, she couldn’t remember their names. Shirley and… Justine, or something? The girl looking gave a curt wave and turned back to Carol. What a waste of space, thought Eloise. What horrors were the three of them unleashing upon the poor tormented souls who came into contact with them every day?

Oh no, that pregnant lady is back, said Joe, tilting his head towards the door. You reckon she’s following us?

Eloise caught a glimpse.

She had long red hair and bright red lipstick to match. Under her giant fur coat was a red and white polka-dot dress, stretching with the pregnant belly underneath. Eyes flickering briefly towards Eloise and Joe’s table, the mysterious woman headed towards the bar, just as ‘Secret Love’ began on the speakers above.

Eloise drank her coffee slowly.

I saw her yesterday. She’s probably another quaker. Maybe she’s on her own… Wanna invite her over?

She asked this innocently enough, however there was an ulterior motive to it. She wanted more from Joe. He was purposely avoiding any true romancing, happy with a kiss here and there but nothing else. Any time she brought it up, he would go silent, as if he’d learnt one day what a value silence was to avoid confrontation. Eloise thought it cowardly, but she still adored him for some infuriating reason. Asking if he wanted another woman’s company was a subtle jab. Besides, she felt privileged. After all, as the rest of the quakers knew, he usually went for surfer chicks with bodacious bods and sun-bleached hair.

No, said Joe, simply incapable of cottoning on. There’s something about her. Makes me uneasy.

She’s pregnant.

That doesn’t matter. I spoke to her last week and suddenly I’m seeing her everywhere.

Baader-Meinhof… said Eloise casually.

They watched as the mysterious woman took her drink over to a bar stool and sat on her own. She undid her coat to reveal a polka-dot red and black top, straining everywhere. She was busty, pregnant or not, and it was something that made Eloise jealous.

You’re right, absolutely crazy! she remarked, standing up. Strawberry milkshakes are a classic sign of mental problems.

Don’t go talk to her, said Joe quietly, grabbing her hand.

Relax, Joseph, I’m going for a smoke. I’ll be back in a minute.

Outside, the day was cool and fresh. There were no clouds to cluster the blue sky, and the morning birds seemed louder to her than the traffic on the highway nearby. She stood by the side of the swinging doors and inhaled her cigarette, feeling at peace for a moment. Then, to her surprise, Carol came out. She looked older than the last time she’d seen her up close. Her dark skin was freckled with marks on the forehead, and her lips were chapped from nicotine. She stopped by Eloise, not saying anything, and whipped out her own packet of cigarettes. Eloise decided to be polite, and turned to smile. Carol smiled back, but she was dead in the eyes.

Morning, said Eloise, and she took another hit.

Did you hear about the old school?

Eloise thought back. She knew that the school she’d graduated from had exploded in a terrible gas leak not too long ago. All of the students and faculty had been evacuated in time but the entire place was reduced to rubble, with only a few small buildings nearby being effected. Since then they’d been rebuilding it, better than ever.

Yeah I heard, on the news.

Well, the new one is opening today. The town’s got itself pretty excited. Give it a few days.

It wasn’t the subject that was surprising Eloise. It was the fact that Carol was talking to her like a human being. When she’d last seen her, all those years ago, the woman barely looked her in the eye. She only acknowledged her when there was something for her to do. The last she’d seen her, she was taking the trash out, while Eloise stormed by after quitting.

That pregnant woman in there was asking about you, said Carol. Thought you ought to know. She pointed back inside.

Through the doors, Eloise noticed the strange red-haired woman was now standing at her table, her stomach bulging over the top. She was conversing merrily with Joe. That… thought Eloise, but she couldn’t think of anything else.

Asking about me, or Joe?

Carol shrugged, not knowing his name. Just you. Asked where you came from. That was it. You’ve never met her before? She ducked her head a little to see between the door’s iron bars. Joe was laughing now.

Eloise turned away, her cheeks blushing. She didn’t want to go straight back in. It would look pathetic, as if she were keeping tabs on a man who clearly had a wandering eye. The two girls from high school would definitely get a kick out of that. Probably Carol, too. But if she left it too much longer, the woman might sit down and that would be the end of her and Joe.

Eyes brimming with tears, she was about to put out her cigarette when something moved under her feet. The ground slightly rumbled. She turned her head here and there for a moment, and then thought: Jackpot! About to run inside, the violence from below hit the venue hard and she fell backwards, onto Carol. The two of them collided with the asphalt. Climbing to her feet, Eloise helped Carol up and the two of them ogled the giant maroon and green sheets of tin above them. The ground still shaking, they leapt onto the empty road as the sheets fell down, smacking heavily against the ground by the door. Barely able to stand, the women grabbed onto each other for support. Through the shaking glass, Eloise could just make out Joe and the pregnant woman, struggling to make their way to the blocked exit.

Without even a hint of warning, the ground beneath Eloise and Carol ripped open and swallowed them whole. Hot, loud and angry steam spit out onto the road with ferocity, shattering the windows of the Pop Shop.

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1

Second First Day

Today. Today was the day. It had been three weeks since they’d started construction on the new school, and now it was ready. Like, completed. Fully.

Those people on Danube worked fast.

In my haste that morning, my stomach filled with butterflies and my mind a crazy mess, I put my t-shirt on inside out. It was just a plain pink one, and nobody noticed, least of all me. My bag was packed, my sneakers were shiny and white, I wore black ripped jeans, and I chomped aggressively on my nails as I sat on the couch waiting for my sister to come downstairs.

Hurry up! I yelled sternly, nasally, at the staircase.

Annie called something in a high voice, too far away for me to hear, just as Brendan came down. He was lucky these days because he didn’t have to leave for school until half past eight, a whole half an hour after we did. When I turned to look, I noticed he was in a red T-shirt and brown khakis. It was the sort of day for shorts, because Autumn time had settled jollily upon Horn-Horn, sharing its beauty in all the trees and gardens. But the sun was reminding us to spend our time with it before the bitterness of winter snuck up on the town.

My little brother had been in his own little world for the past week. He was hardly participating in family conversations, and whenever we asked him a question it usually took a good prodding to break through. I’d wondered if maybe the trouble we’d had the previous month had warped him to some degree. I was sure I’d suffered some; I mean who wouldn’t after it all? But I was now very relaxed and back at it. I was functioning well, sleeping fine.

We’d driven past the new school a million times during construction, often on our way to the other school, but sometimes at night when we went to the mall or to the shops; even then they were working on it. In the dark. Normal people would think it was strange and eager — I knew that magic was involved. So we had a fair idea of what it looked like now, and it was massive. It was nothing like the old school, despite being on the same lot. Pre-grown grass, saplings, and giant purple blocks of so-called buildings were scattered across it. While it appeared new, it also had a look of age to it — as if they purposely set it up to appear that way. Once again I imagined it would be like trying to navigate due north in a maze after being blindfolded and spun around sixteen times.

I want to see it, said Brendan, and he joined me on the couch while he waited for Mom to come back from the shops.

Why? You never went to the other one.

"This one is new, he said happily. I have to go to the same boring school every day. It’s not fair." He grabbed the remote and put the television onto the news. Once again, nothing interesting was going on in the world.

All of a sudden, everything began to shake.

We grabbed onto the sofa as tightly as we could, and after what seemed like an eternity, it stopped. I stared at the grandfather clock in the corner, now with a crack down its glass face. Its pendulum had stopped swinging. The rest of the swaying furniture soon settled and we were left in complete silence. The power had switched off, but nothing was especially damaged. Annie ran down the stairs, a thunderous roar against the carpet, and I turned around to see her wearing nothing but her pants and her white bra. Her hair was only half fixed.

What was that!? she cried out, holding onto the banister with both hands.

Cassie had enchiladas for dinner, cut her some slack.

Annie ignored the sarcasm. "An earthquake?" She ran to the front door, opened it, and gazed about. "Thank goodness none of the oak trees fell on us! I can’t believe we just had an earthquake. Who ever heard of an earthquake in this part of the world? An earthquake!"

Brendan put a hand to his left ear. A tornado, you say?

Annie noticed that neither of us had moved from the couch.

You two are crazy, just sitting there. Go on the internet! See what’s happening!

She bolted up the staircase to take her own advice.

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We weren’t even sure if the bus would arrive now. Annie and I walked down to the demented bus stop pole about ten minutes later. There was absolutely nobody else around, and even the birds had disappeared entirely. The only sound we could hear was from some sort of car in the distance.

Maybe the school’s been damaged, said Annie in terror.

Relax, your precious school is fine.

Just then, the bus hit the pole in front of me. I flew back in utter shock. How had it rolled up to us without my hearing it? By the time Annie placed the pole back up in its spot, I was well recovered, and the bus door opened. We said hello to Yack-Spit-Hack Lady, who was oblivious to all things around her (quite troublesome for someone about to delve into the traffic of downtown), and we found a spot together halfway down the aisle. There weren’t that many students on today. Certainly nobody I knew too well.

"This is going to be very interesting," said Annie, and she wiggled into comfort by the window.

I placed my hands rather nerdishly together on my lap and let my posture drop. I looked around, hoping for somebody to say hello to, but no. I’d led a rather dull social life since Eleanore Parker’s party, which seemed like years ago, and I was desperate for a bit of harmless chatter with someone outside of my immediate family. Alas, the universe was unwilling at this particular moment in time.

Just as we started to leave the curb, a hand slammed against our window, giving me another fright. To my intense distress, it appeared to be Hayley and JT. They’d nearly missed the bus, although why they were hopping on at our stop was a mystery to me.

The bus driver opened the door, and Hayley jumped on first, puffed and red in the face. She could barely get out the next sentence between deep breaths: Did you guys feel the earthquake?

The bus driver simply stared at her, looking her up and down.

I’ll take that as a no, you weirdo, she muttered, and she continued down the aisle.

With JT’s right hand attached to her left one, she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of me. For a moment we stared, dumbfounded. Then I dropped my eyes and smiled in that polite, ‘don’t-know-you-too-well’ kind of way.

Lord have mercy, she muttered. "Did you guys feel it?"

Yes, said Annie immediately. She perked up, straightening her back, and placed her arms on the headrest in front of her. It was strong.

But not strong enough to do anything, like ruin the school, said JT, sounding sad.

Hayley whacked him in the stomach. Don’t wish for such things, Jonathan.

To my surprise, they sat down in front of us. JT placed his back against the window, and Hayley leant against him. I haven’t seen you since Friday, she said, and I raised my head to discover she was talking to me.

I’d thought once going back to normal school that she and Wednesday would stop talking to me again, even though we had sort of resolved our issues not long after starting our torturous schooling at Maplethorn High. None of us had apologised, or discussed it much further, but we’d been very cool towards one another during these few weeks; only speaking to each other when necessary for school work, or teaming up in gym class. So to hear her talking to me, even though it wasn’t a particularly warm reception, had me sweating from my armpits like an open faucet.

Yeah, I said. I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Then I did. Get up to much on the weekend?

Not really, she said.

A moment of silence passed. I think Annie knew how awkward it was because she fidgeted again, and then cleared her throat nervously. So, that earthquake, huh?

When we got to the school, the bus didn’t go in the original entrance. There was a new one around the other side, leading us through a strange, red tunnel as if we were on a train. On the inside were paintings, art that students must have been invited to paint, and things like ‘Horn-Horn rocks’ and ‘welcome to school’ were painted in bright yellow. It was super unusual. JT quietly mentioned that he had been invited to participate in this art-project, and he very gladly pointed out the word ‘doib’ in one of the corners near the ground.

We were dropped off in front of the only non-purple building I could see. A very large, dark teal coloured building shaped like a teepee, with the word ‘Reception’ painted in bright yellow above the entrance (which was a sliding door). Outside stood Principal Parker, wearing his usual purple suit, grinning from ear-to-ear. He’d been waiting for us to arrive, I realised.

When we hopped out, all nine of us (I counted), his eyes skimmed the students and then his smile dropped.

Where’s Eleanore?

Hayley stretched and yawned loudly, not bothering to cover her mouth. Who?

She didn’t get on at our stop, I said.

Why not? he asked, rather accusingly.

I shrugged. Maybe the earthquake?

What earthquake?

Hayley and I shared a look, and then Annie put her hand up for some reason. Principal Parker, you didn’t feel it? There was an earthquake about half an hour ago. It wasn’t very big, but it was pretty scary.

Hmm… It mustn’t have struck here, he said, looking down. He whipped out his phone from his top pocket. Are you sure it was an earthquake?

We don’t know, whinged Hayley. Things shook, there was no explosion. What else could it have been?

Parker squinted off into the distance, worry being plain on his face. He then put his phone back and waved for us to go inside, quickly.

The reception building was much like the original, only slightly longer and taller inside — a giant could easily get in and out without ducking. The same old reception lady, Ms. Chin-Tucker, who needed a chin-tuck herself, was behind the desk and smiled at us warmly. Because of her name and her constant smile, it was hard to tell if she was half-Asian or not. She was very nice, however, so she was one of the few faculty members not to suffer at the hands of the mean-spirited. She pointed us to a giant blackboard behind her, with a detailed list written in vibrant chalk-ink of the numerous teachers and where their homerooms were located. Ms. Weiss had the blessing of a glowing blue chalk today, and as we learned, her room was located in the D.O.I.B. Block.

After a double glance from all of us, Hayley caught JT just in time as he fell over backwards. A second later he was babbling like a half-wit, unable to say anything but wanting to say so much. Hayley simply shushed him and confirmed what he saw above.

Hey, Ms. Chin-Tucker, she said as she waltzed closer to the tall reception desk, resting her arms on the high counter. What does D. O. I. B. stand for?

Ms. Chin-Tucker glanced at the blackboard. That’s short for the classes held in that block. It’s by the new gym. Drama, Orchestra and Income/Business.

We all made an impressed sound, as this made sense in a way given those common subjects had all been placed in the same area in the previous school’s set-up. JT suddenly found it so hilarious that he began to tear up, and giggled happily into Hayley’s shoulder.

Suddenly, Ms. Weiss appeared through one of the giant doorways, sporting a walking-cane. She was dressed in her usual Sunday-best, pink on pink with pink pearls and pink blush.

Welcome back, everybody!

Spotting JT’s unmistakable joy, she took to squinting at him.

Got gas?

Hayley pointed to the blackboard.

Ah, yes, that, our teacher hummed serenely. Drama, Orchestra and Income/Business, right, Harriet?

Ms. Chin-Tucker nodded. I already told them.

Then what’s so funny? Weiss turned to me.

I shrugged innocently, preferring to stay out of it.

"Righto. Hmm, I’m sure a few more of you will turn up before nine. They can find their own ways. Now if those of you not in my class don’t mind, I’ll be taking my damn, oafish illiterate boobs to their homeroom." She gave me a knowing smirk and gently put her hand behind my shoulder to guide me with her back the way she came. Hayley and JT followed.

The hallway seemed to lead on forever and ever. Honestly by the time we exited, I’d been contemplating a crying fit. As we exited the large sliding doors into an auditorium, I turned back and noticed JT and Hayley were sighing in frustration, apparently feeling the same exhaustion as me from that long, dull walk.

That’s the Berry hallway, said Weiss suddenly, sounding as grim as we felt. It was named after Ms. Berry.

Oh, that’s nice, said Hayley quietly. Weird to name a hallway after somebody, though.

All of the other places were taken, said Ms. Weiss, and she waved her arm around to present the auditorium, twice as big as the previous one, and purple where it suited. Now, this is the Fido Auditorium. Our classroom is just off to the right here.

And with that we continued walking. Over the shiny new wooden basketball court, to a red door with a tiny window. It had the letter ‘W’ on it. Inside, after the lights had gradually blinked on, we were met with a very teal coloured classroom. It was about the same size as our previous one, with a chalkboard that stretched from the front of the class all the way to the back, where a door leading into a computer room stood. The classroom was actually quite nice and cool and fresh looking, but there was one thing missing. One important thing. It didn’t take me long to figure it out.

Well? What do you think? said Ms. Weiss, hobbling to her desk and propping up on it happily. Her handbag was already on her swivel chair, so she must have gotten here early. On the board behind her she’d written ‘Welcome back!’ correctly. But nothing distracted from the frustration we were feeling.

There are no windows in here… said Hayley.

Ms. Weiss stood up and put a hand to her shoulder. She bit her bottom lip in thought. Yes, I was hoping nobody would notice… Do you think it’s that bad?

Hayley guided JT to the back and they picked their seats, saving a space between them for Greg. Hayley snorted. I mean, maybe now we’ll actually get some work done.

Ms. Weiss still looked concerned, biting her bottom lip. "You’re more than welcome to draw a window with this new chalk-ink the school has bought. If it helps."

You know, it will, said JT excitedly, and he jumped up and grabbed some of that chalk-ink from the front desk.

Nothing smutty, Mr. Walker.

I know, I know.

As JT busied himself with his window-frame drawing, Ms. Weiss hobbled back to her desk and started preparing for class. I decided to casually sit in the second last row again. I didn’t know what else to do, but I wasn’t sitting at the front with her. It wasn’t like we’d not seen each other recently, either. Last Wednesday, in fact, we’d congregated at our teacher’s house where we discussed all the classes we had and what we were expected to achieve from the next semester’s curriculum. So it wasn’t as if it was the beginning of a particularly new school term or anything like that. In a way, it was just another week. And from the looks of things with what Ms. Weiss was sorting out in front, it was definitely back to business for her.

Pssst, came a sound from behind me. Hayley’s blue eyes met mine as I turned to face her.

Yeah? I said shyly.

What are you doing?

Panicking for a moment, I tried to read her expression, which could have gone both ways. I’m… huh?

Move your ass, she said. A moment later she nudged her head sideways, regarding the seat between her and JT.

I shook my head in confusion. What?

Sit your butt down next to me.

I quickly grabbed my bag and hopped into the row behind me, and sat down next to her. We both stared ahead at the blackboard. Ms. Weiss was writing up details about the next book we were due to start reading in the coming weeks that led up to Christmas.

"Who’s ever heard of The Ninth Poldark anyway?" came Eleanore Parker’s echoing voice, and a second later she waltzed in merrily with her friends, Wednesday and Friday, and a girl I’d never seen before. All four of them looked as if they had ice shoved down the backs of their shirts.

It’s the ninth book in a series, Miss. Parker, our teacher told her merrily. "The series is called Poldark. The book’s title is ‘The Miller’s Dance’, and I certainly hope some of you girls have started reading it already because we’ll be covering chapters one to three this week."

Eleanore sat down directly in front of me. Wednesday flashed me and Hayley a smile when she wasn’t looking. Eleanore was back to her usual self. Sort of. She’d been cold to me at the classes we’d had at the Weiss residence, as had Tanya. Greg was also not talking to me. It was as if we’d never travelled to another dimension together! Like the events of Eleanore’s party still lingered in the air fresh. I tried a few times to talk to some of them about it but they fervently denied knowing what I was talking about, almost as if they suddenly became possessed. I’d given up.

I’ve decided to rebel a little, Eleanore muttered to Friday, and I could only hear her because she was so close. I haven’t even touched that book. Only because my mother read the series when I was little and I think it’s some sort of a porny romance novel for sappy women. I bet you there’s a man in it who treats a woman like dirt, but sleeps with her in the end because he has a wily moustache.

Friday was back to her usual grovelling. "Me too, that’s exactly what I was thinking."

Hearing them chat was akin to bearing witness to my father peeing with the door open. Not especially loud per se, just that awful trickling absurdity that would enter my mind as the most infuriating noise in the world. I heaved a sigh of annoyance and turned to look at JT’s art-work. There was a window, but (very subtly) he’d managed to fit a pair of female breasts into the equation. I hoped Ms. Weiss wouldn’t notice, as the breasts were a part of the window frame.

Just then, Greg walked in holding hands with a girl I’d never seen before. It took me a moment to catch up with reality, and I stared dumbfounded. Then I turned back to JT’s window, feeling myself blush. I tried not to move, afraid I would falter, until Eleanore piped up. "Who is this?" she said loudly, and everybody in class turned to look, so I felt I had to as well.

Greg seemed a little awkward, and the red-haired girl with green eyes next to him wriggled out of his grip. She was wearing a lime-green and blue tracksuit which didn’t suit her frame at all.

Nancy-Marilyn, she said.

She leaned towards Eleanore, hand outstretched. Eleanore took it and was greeted by a firm, determined hand-shake.

What a mouthful, said Ms. Weiss from the front, regarding her name, and she took to writing it down on the board. You must be the Eaglehawk transfer. Nancy-Marilyn Alvarado-Wheeler?

I just died from old age, said Eleanore.

JT and Greg had gone to a school over the previous period in Eaglehawk, about an hour and a bit’s journey away. Along with William Chan from our class and Wendy Hardy, they were the happiest to be back if only for the small commute time. However, I’d heard of this Nancy girl before. She lived in Horn-Horn somewhere and my mother knew of her family through friends. Quite the rich blend.

"Who is named Nancy or Marilyn these days? said Eleanore casually, and she pulled her bra-straps up under her top. Unless… did we go back in time to 1984?"

The remainder of the class filed in promptly, and I noticed Tanya Tanner appear in the doorway, look around, and then sit in the front row between William and Mary. She didn’t look comfortable.

Well, this is nice, said Weiss finally, addressing everybody properly. She clapped her hands and smiled. We’re back in business. Now the first thing we have to do is take a school tour, but we aren’t going anywhere until we get the notification from the Principals through the speakers. So at the moment I hope you all brought the homework we talked about last Wednesday?

Nobody moved. Apparently none of us had completed it.

This hasn’t been a school vacation, she continued in annoyance, sucking in her lips. A point will be taken off everybody’s end-of-year grades as a result.

We all groaned, but knew better than to stink up more of a fuss. She was right, had even threatened us with such action the week before.

Still, today will be a little bit different. We pulled the short straw, unfortunately, so you all have physical education right after lunch, until home-time.

Eleanore laughed in disgust. "A double!?"

JT raised his colour-stained right hand. Who’s our new sports teacher?

I haven’t the foggiest, Mr. Walker, she said. I’m not allowed to know such things in advance with the new curriculum and procedures going into effect this term.

We all knew what she was talking about. The school hadn’t just miraculously survived its destruction. While Duke Wilson and friends had put in money for the school, they needed outside help to make it look authentic, and in doing so the school board allowed a mysterious contributor into the mix. Now, Horn-Horn High-High was co-run by Eric Parker and another man. A stricter man. A man who tolerated no horse-dung or easy-breezy schooling, as was Parker’s way.

Ms. Weiss sensed the unease in the room, so she perked up. Think of it as an adventure! New things to keep the day interesting. Now with that out of the way, let’s open our Science text books to page one-hundred and… eleven, was it? She took out her copy and found the dog-eared page. "Ah, one-hundred and twelve. There we go. This will be interesting, class. We’re about to embark on a wonderful thing called quantum physics."

The speakers popped loudly, frightening us. A moment later Principal Parker’s voice coughed and spluttered. He was clearly preparing to speak, unaware that he was going out live to the entire school. "Ridiculous new technology, really. Blue-what? What a sh… Hello, everybody. This is your Principal, Eric Parker. Welcome back. To celebrate, we are going to join each other in the new auditorium at precisely ten o’clock for a special assembly. Until then, recess for all!"

We were about to cheer in excitement, when there came the sound of a struggle. Somebody was trying to take the microphone away from him, and a moment later they succeeded.

"This is also your Principal, Mr. Incionatti. Hello, everybody. I’m afraid our friend Eric Parker was having a momentary lapse in judgement. There is precisely an hour until assembly, so I encourage all of our lovely faculty to please conduct your classes as you would normally. Well, first class on the timetable will continue until the bell sounds at ten o’clock. Thank you."

There was a nice tone to his voice. He ended in such a pleasant way, I was sure he was smiling as he spoke.