A Practical Guide for Young Adults: Consciously Create the Life You'll Love

By Diana Hutchison, Lara Korotenko and Miriam Henke

Are you a young adult who is anxious, uncertain and frustrated by all the conflicting information around you telling you how to be? Are you keen to take charge of your life and create your best life right from the start?

 

As a Young adult, you want to get the most out of life. You want to have awesome relationships, a satisfyin

• Language: English
• Publisher: Diana Hutchison
• Release date: Nov 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9780645426243

Diana Hutchison

Diana Hutchison is an author, counsellor and purpose coach whose life-long passion for self-development has led her to create a series of books in the self-help genre. Being drawn towards understanding multiple ways and modalities, she sought to create meaning for herself and her life which has meant that her unique holistic approach explores all levels of being: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, leading to a perspective of self-healing which enables the best results for her clients.

Book preview

Chapter 1

How to Use This Book

Welcome to A Practical Guide for Young Adults Each chapter explores a different area of life, and how to be the best in that area.

Before we begin, let me introduce myself. I have a background in psychology, and have now moved into counselling and life purpose coaching; helping people find their own unique self-healing pathway. I specialise in the areas of grief and loss, as well as health and wellbeing.

I have written this book because when I was a teenager and young adult, I felt like I could have really used the help and guidance a guide like this would have offered.

I believe gaining these insights during those years would have started me on the road to self-awareness and self-development much earlier in life. I hope that it helps you to explore the way you think and feel about your life, and how you want it to unfold. Using these insights can really help you to make your life happen in the best way for you. It does take some effort, but if you are able to plan and organise things then it is likely to have positive effects.

Take charge of your life and don’t allow your life to just happen to you – ensure you happen to it.

Taking action towards making small positive changes is the key.

The best way to use this book is to read it chapter by chapter.

You don’t need to read the chapters in sequential order. You can read them in any order. Read a chapter, think about it, and if you have a friend or family member who is also reading it, then you could talk about it with them. It will be particularly helpful to do this if you are having some problems with the subjects discussed in that particular chapter.

If a family member or friend has recommended that you read this book, trust that they have your best interests at heart and give it a go.

Here is a short summary of how to approach each chapter, so that you get the most out of the book.

2. Physical Health

After you have read through this chapter, go back and work out which areas you believe you can improve on in your life. It might be diet, it might be exercise, it might be both. You may not have thought about the long-term consequences of your behaviour, but find that you would like to do so now.

Maybe you’d like to stay healthy over the long term, and find that you are willing to think about putting different behaviours in place. It is your life and you can have a major impact on how it works out in the future. You now have the opportunity to change the way in which your life progresses.

Make a conscious decision to become authentic. Then you will be living the best life you could wish for, and later on you will be thankful that you made such a choice.

Read the chapter, check out the recommended websites and make a list of things you can do to effect change. To find help in goal setting and general aspects related to self-change, please refer to my previous book, A Practical Guide for Self Change.

You can download it from all book platforms, including Amazon. My amazon author page is: https://www.amazon.com/author/dianahutchison

3. Home/Family Life

After reading this chapter, think about your upbringing, your values and the beliefs you hold. Download the free values and core beliefs forms from my website www.dianahutchison.com/shop.

This will provide you with some information that you can act on, should you wish. Discuss your results with a family member or friend.

Think about where you fit into your family, school and wider community. Also consider your in group and out group. Your in group consists of a group of people whose characteristics mean that they get certain privileges. While society sets some of these, you can also set your own in group and out group, based on your ideas of inclusion and exclusion. Are you encompassing values of compassion for yourself and others?

4. Relationships

After reading through this chapter, consider the relationships you have right now and see them in the light of your feelings about them. Are they strong? Are they loving? Do you know them well? Do you communicate well? Are you in a healthy relationship, or is it encroaching on your sense of self and not allowing you to breathe?

Get a sense of where you stand and where your relationships fit into your world.

5. Sex and Sexuality

Reading this chapter will help you to form a clearer idea of your sexual needs and desires, so that you can form a healthy and positive sexual relationship with yourself and with others.

Communication is important so that you know where you stand, and so that you can ensure you and your partner are comfortable and happy with your choices.

Always ensure consent.

Whatever your sexual identity, orientation or preferences you are not alone.

Get support and ask for help when you need it.

6. Interests and Hobbies

Make a note of the interests and hobbies that you really enjoy. This may give you an indication of the things that will stay with you through life or even point to something that might be a career. It would be helpful to explore your talents since these may well indicate the direction your career could go.

Not everybody knows their passions when they are young, but if you do, then factor these in to your life plans.

7. Finances

Reading this chapter will give you a base from which to start good money habits. Ensure you budget and work out your financial position. Then you’ll have the ability to assess whether you can save some money for things you might want, rather than only ever having enough for the things you need. The important thing is to shop around for the best deal you can get.

Be realistic about what you can afford and take steps to ensure you are not spending more money than you have coming in. The exception to this is if you are on Social Security payments. There are ways of saving money that you can engage in. Investigate the suggestions outlined for you.

8. Work/Career

When you read this chapter, think about what you came up with in Chapter 6.

Are you interested in pursuing a career doing something you loved earlier in your life, in an area you found interesting, and that you have a talent for? Complete Holland’s Career Interest Survey and see what comes up.

Check out the careers that match your top three highest areas and discuss them with your parents or friends. It’s helpful to have a fall-back position if your first choice does not work out.

Work relationships are best if they are respectful. Where bullying occurs then there should be steps that you can take to seek redress.

It is positive if you can be assertive with your work colleagues.

9. Emotional Life

Throughout this chapter you will find information about the positives and negatives of emotions. Read about how to manage emotions, and how to process them. Learn how to be happy in the present moment. There is discussion of a variety of positive and negative emotions, whether they are useful, and if they are not, how to let them go.

10. Mental Health

If you or someone you know has issues with anxiety, depression, psychosis, eating disorders or phobias, then you may already have some knowledge and information about some of the points discussed here.

There is also information about possibilities for treatment. If you are not someone who has such issues then you may be thankful, and just take note of the section on happiness.

The rest of the chapter may be useful for your reference, should anyone you know have any of these issues.

11. Addictions

This chapter explores a number of addictions such as: tobacco, alcohol, prescription abuse, non-prescription drugs, pornography, gambling, social media, and gaming. There is also a general process of how to become free from your addiction, should you so desire.

12. Self-Esteem

Everyone can read and discuss this chapter. If you have completed the core beliefs survey, downloadable from my website, then you will be able to note how high or low you have rated your self-esteem. See if you still rate it the same after reading through the characteristic behaviours of someone with low self-esteem.

Pick and choose how you might improve your self-esteem through some positive self-talk. You can work out what you could say to yourself that will counteract your negative self-talk.

13. Assertiveness

Read about the differences between passive, assertive, and aggressive behaviours. Work out where you are, and then you can work on becoming more assertive.

If you are passive then often the first step is to begin to say ‘no’ in some situations. Becoming assertive means that you are standing up for yourself, meeting your needs and taking others’ needs into account as well. It takes some effort and practice, but it is possible to become assertive.

Even if you are often aggressive, you can learn to become assertive instead, so that you do not discount others’ needs.

Practice with the use of I Statements, by asking for help, and by saying no.

14. Personal Growth

Hopefully, personal growth is something you aspire to.

Reading this chapter should get you into the frame of mind that enables you to think about what goals you’d like to set each year for your personal growth.

People usually like to feel that they are moving forward. Setting goals and taking action towards them can assist with the feeling of moving and progressing.

The incorporation of positive psychology exercises will benefit your emotional growth and also help your relationships. Make sure that you pay attention to your intuition as you go about your daily life.

Once you have read through all the chapters in the book, and have begun working through your issues to become the person you want to be, you will be well on your way to creating a life you’ll love.

Personal change is an ongoing process, so the more consciously you work on yourself, the more you’ll realise clarity and peace.

Be the best that you can be, and find your heart in your life!

Chapter 2

Physical Health

What does optimal health mean to you?

Quality of Life

Physical health is an important aspect of wellbeing and quality of life. Wherever you are on the spectrum of health, from those who have chronic conditions or disabilities, through to those who are at the peak of physical fitness—everyone should regard their health as a priority.

The choices we make and the things we do always have consequences and some may have long-term effects. If you look after your body then you are giving yourself the greatest opportunities to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

Everything you put into your body will have an effect on you and your life, so it is always best to make an informed decision about the things you do.

One part of the body affects the whole.

Even the common cold causes most people to feel miserable.

The mind affects the body and the body affects the mind.

A physical therapy such as acupuncture will affect how you feel both in your body and in your mind.

A mental therapy such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help how you feel in terms of mood, and this can have an impact on your behaviour.

As you feel better, you behave in different ways.

Physical Factors Affecting Health

From the moment of conception, your physical environment and the nutrition you receive have an effect on your health.

Early environments may pave the way for particular issues or problems later in life¹. However, although you can’t change the circumstances of your birth, as you grow up you can choose your behaviour to give yourself the best chances in life, by looking after yourself, having a well-balanced diet, exercising, and getting enough sleep². Additionally, find the right environment for you—both internally and externally.

For instance, to protect yourself from future problems with skin cancer, use sunscreens with a high sun protection factor (SPF), wear a hat, and avoid sunbathing when the ultraviolet (UV) rays are at their strongest—between 10am and 4pm.

Skin cancer (melanoma) has a high incidence rate in Australia, and getting badly burnt—especially when young—increases the risk of skin cancer when older. This also goes for using tanning machines of any kind.

Brain Power

In the simplest terms, your brain consists of three sections. The hindbrain (or reptilian brain), which governs survival instincts, the midbrain (or limbic system), which governs emotions and the frontal cortex (or neocortex), which governs thinking and reasoning.

Your brain is always monitoring your body and the information you are receiving from the outside world, and is constantly processing this information and predicting what may happen in case you need to take action.

You are the driver of your world. It is your brain that is communicating with every part of your body, and receiving information back too.

There are many neurons in your brain which form a network of connections to enable you to learn, remember, and to take in information from the outside world, process it, and respond. Your brain is a great prediction machine. It is always trying to predict what is going to happen next³. How it predicts what may happen is based on your past experiences, skills, knowledge and beliefs.

When you are young a lot of learning happens in a short space of time and the number of neurons in your brain becomes large, and many connections are being created between these neurons.

As you become older, a pruning process happens, which helps your brain to become more efficient. This pruning process reduces the number of connections between the neurons, so that only the more frequently used connections remain. This means that during childhood and young adulthood, if you engage in learning things that will stand you in good stead, particularly in the realms of critical thinking, reasoning and creativity, then working things out the old-fashioned way—by using your brain rather than just relying on technology to do the short cuts for you—will be better for you in the long term.

There is evidence that the use of technology⁴ is having a detrimental effect on people’s ability to be creative, to write, to think critically, and to use reasoning in ways that enhance their lives⁵. This may be one of the reasons why young people’s mental health has been declining over time⁶.

Gut Health

In recent years, the importance of gut health on both the body and mind has come into prominence. The complex interaction between the microbiome (the gut environment with the different bacteria) and diet, and how this affects health across many different conditions has been at the heart of some research.

Evidence is coming to light to indicate that our microbiome and physical environment (including our diet and lifestyle) may be at the root of many illnesses and diseases⁷. Thus, diet is very important.

By changing what you put inside your body, you can improve or reduce the percentage of good microbiota (bacteria) in your gut. For instance, connections are now being made between the microbiome and autoimmune diseases including Parkinsons⁸, multiple sclerosis, and other kinds of conditions such as coeliac disease⁹.

So, what can you do to help ensure your physical health is the best it can be?

Everybody is different, so you may need to take a little time working out what is right for your biology and physiology—and some of those things may change at different points in your life—but by and large there are some basic rules that you can follow.

Firstly, if you have a course of antibiotics, ensure that you follow up or take concurrently a good probiotic to replace the good bacteria in your gut¹⁰.

Secondly, diet is particularly important because it does affect your nutrition and microbiome¹¹,¹². Thirdly, the reduction and elimination of toxins is also important. Particular foods may cause inflammation that can impact your overall wellbeing over time. What you feed your body can cause your microbiome to favour one lot of microbiotas over others (there are many different families of microbiota and some are more conducive for wellbeing than others). What this means is that eventually you may become less healthy on a number of levels, including mentally.

It is a fact that we have neurons in a number of areas in our body—not just in our brain. There are neurons in our hearts, and neurons in our guts.

The vagus nerve is the pathway that carries messages between our guts and brains¹³.

In our bodies, the autonomic nervous system (that operates the unconscious processes in our body) and the central nervous systems (brain and spinal cord) work together. The vagus nerve is one of 12 cranial nerves (they are in pairs) in our body, and as part of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) is responsible for digestion, heart rate, breathing, and other unconscious processes, such as reflex actions. It is the longest nerve in our body and runs from the brain stem to the colon¹⁴, and has links with the face muscles, heart, and other abdominal organs. It is also a two-way information highway. There are a number of different means of transport that these messages may take, but there is certainly traffic both ways¹⁵.

A recent and popular theory about the function of this nerve and what it might mean for treatment is contained in the Polyvagal Theory. The Polyvagal Theory¹⁶ explains how our body’s nervous system affects our social behaviour, emotions, and stress responses. It suggests that there are three parts to our nervous system: one for social engagement and connection, one for fight-or-flight responses to danger, and one for shutdown or freeze responses, and that these systems have evolved with us as we became social creatures. These are all interconnected and work together. Our ability to switch between them helps us adapt to different situations. The theory highlights the importance of social cues and experiences in shaping our physiological reactions and overall well-being.

Since messages and information go both ways between your guts and your brain, this means that what you put in your body really does affect your brain: and thus, your mental state and emotional wellbeing. Additionally, the vagus nerve acts as a counterpoint to stress. So, through activities like yoga, meditating, and breathing, you can utilise the vagus nerve pathway to reduce the amount of stress you are feeling. One point to note is that the theory details are not necessarily proven as yet, and there is some opposition to the total package¹⁷. However, this does not mean that the particular aspects for treatment are not working in some way – it does not make the effects wrong, if the particular pathway to those effects are different in theory.

One effective breathing exercise is to breathe in for the count of 4, hold for 2, and then breathe out for the count of 6, expelling all the air from the bottom of your lungs. This exercise is also helpful with getting to sleep.

The Social Context

Consider the broader context when exploring what your choices could be in determining how you behave and what you are eating, drinking or accepting into your body and immediate environment.

As consumers, even if we trust the government and corporations to act in our best interests, it may be better to take responsibility for making our own decisions about what we eat and how we organise our lifestyle and routines. We do have this responsibility in any case.

While it may be essential to live harmoniously with others and to accept the rules, taking personal responsibility for health choices is advisable. Genetics, environment, and social factors can affect health outcomes. Focus on controlling what you consume, making informed decisions, and listening to your body’s needs to improve overall well-being. Once you are taking control of what you can control, then you will know that you have been doing your best to look after yourself. Many things may happen that are both unexpected and outside of your domain of control. You are not the cause of everything that happens to you. Sometimes physical disease and illness arise from social factors, genetics, and environmental factors.

By paying more attention to your body and what it might be telling you from any symptoms, and being aware of choosing the things your body likes (which may be different from the things you like), you may begin to feel more positive about yourself.

Food for Thought

Diet

Everyone’s physiology may vary depending on many factors including genetic, and environmental. What you put into your body physically forms the foundation of your current internal environment which affects the nutrients your body is able to extract, and what it can do with them.

Are your food choices relatively healthy, or are the things you eat not very good for you? Are you eating the right amount?

Eating too much or too little can be damaging to your body. You can find out more about eating disorders in Chapter 10.

Whatever you eat, chew it well. There is some evidence¹⁸ that the more you chew your food, the fuller you feel, which means you are likely to eat less. Chewing each mouthful thirty times rather than fifteen (which is usual) will assist with this.

If you were ever told to chew your food instead of wolfing it down, you were given good advice.

Most authorities now recommend eating food closest to its natural state. Some foods need cooking, some may be more nutritious raw (such as capsicum, lettuce, celery, cucumber) but the fewer additives and processes added to food, the better. It is widely recognised that processed meat in large quantities causes a higher risk of cancer. Therefore, you could limit the amount of ham, bacon, sausages, salami, and other processed meats you eat to reduce this risk¹⁹.

Additionally, what is now called ultra-processed food, which is essentially fast food, take-away food, and meals and foods you can buy in packages, are unhealthy and can cause long-term health problems, including heart disease, diabetes, and cancer²⁰.

This is mostly because the amounts of sugar, salt, and fats that are added have been worked out in the ratio that is addictive for the reward systems in our brains.

The advertising and marketing around these foods is pervasive and persuasive.

It is therefore important for you to foster a sense of choosing your own menu from fresh foods that you purchase and prepare for yourself. In this way, you will be missing out on huge amounts of sugar, salt, and bad fats that are added to processed and pre-prepared foods—and your body will thank you.

Vegetables should be as fresh as possible. Some people