What Is The Problem?

By Anne Fisher

Immerse yourself in a tale of resilience, redemption, and the pursuit of truth with "What Is The Problem?" by Anne Fisher. This story weaves a spellbinding narrative that transcends genres, captivating readers with its powerful storytelling and gripping plot twists.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Woodbridge Publishers
• Release date: Jan 9, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869113696

Anne Fisher

Anne Fisher, MSW, ACSW, graduated from the University of Arizona and Arizona State University. Now retired after a thirty-four-year career as a medical and psychiatric social worker, she lives with her husband and their dog, Allie, in Tucson, Arizona.

Book preview

What Is The Problem?

By Anne Fisher

Copyright © 2023 Anne Fisher

Published: Month 2023

ISBN: 978-1-916849-31-0 (Paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-916849-32-7 (Hard cover)

All rights reserved.

The right of Anne Fisher to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, copied in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise transmitted without written permission from the author and publisher. You must not circulate this book in any format.

Dedication

In these ever-evolving times, a vast majority of our fellow citizens, the 99%, often navigate life's challenges with resilience and resourcefulness. While safety nets do exist, we are witnessing a troubling trend of division, pitting the working class against those facing overwhelming obstacles. This echoes the historical strategies employed by the privileged few. Some accept this status quo, while others courageously speak out against the inherent injustices of a system that promotes unchecked individualism. This philosophy, historically embraced by industrial magnates of the 18th and 19th centuries, continues to shape our society today.

The creation of vital institutions like libraries and medical foundations often served as public acknowledgment and validation for those who achieved immense wealth. Yet, with a few exceptions like The Gates Foundation, there are limited examples of affluent individuals genuinely addressing the needs of the less fortunate or the struggling middle class. These individuals often teeter on the edge of hardship, especially in the face of health-related challenges. This narrative is a tribute to the spirit of the 99% movement, and I pledge to contribute 20% of the author's earnings to support those tirelessly advocating for social and ethical fairness. We all benefit from a helping hand, and together, we can build a more equitable society.

Acknowledgment

The story within these pages has been brewing in my mind for some time. While it is a work of fiction, it draws upon the experiences of a remarkable individual I had the privilege of knowing during my time in Washington D.C. She was part of a group dedicated to assisting Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs), who often grapple with intense anxiety triggered by flashbacks and high-stress situations.

This woman's courage in the face of adversity left an indelible mark on my heart. Despite her profound struggles with anxiety, she confronted her inner demons head-on and made remarkable strides in her journey toward healing. Through her, I learned a profound truth: within each of us lies an innate resilience that enables us to triumph over even the most formidable challenges. It is a testament to the strength encoded within our very DNA.

As I pen these words, I am reminded of the significance of reaching beyond one's comfort zone. It is a principle that has guided me throughout my life and writing career. Taking risks and striving for greater heights is a path to personal growth and fulfillment.

In my exploration, I have come across two publications, Mslexia in the UK and Ploughshares, which I intend to approach with this work as a trial balloon. While these may be ambitious aspirations, I firmly believe that stretching our boundaries is a worthy endeavor, both personally and professionally.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Meltdown

Chapter 2: Wisconsin Avenue

Chapter 3: Moving ahead

Chapter 4: The End and a Beginning

Chapter 5: Taking out the Trash

Chapter 6: Walking the Halls of Power

Chapter 7: Breaking through to the truth

Chapter 8: The Storm & The Calm Before It

Chapter 9: Deceit

Chapter 10: Coming Back Home

Chapter 11: The Breakthrough

Chapter 12: La Madre esta en Casa.

Chapter 13: Inside the deceit

Chapter 14: Creating the Noose

Chapter 15: Breaking News

Chapter 16: Getting the Real Story

Chapter 17: Time To Go West

Chapter 18: Going Home To Yet One More Loss

Chapter 19: Sweeping Up The Ashes

Chapter 20: Getting Back In The Saddle

Chapter 21: More Trips To The Hill

About the Author

Chapter 1:

Meltdown

Ed Blake observed her making her way across the expanse of the city room towards her desk. He could sense her anxiety, whether it was through the rigidity of her posture or her hurried pace. Other times, it manifested as a forced smile or laughter that lacked spontaneity. Ed knew Sarah to be a remarkable individual, and over the years, he had become a source of growth and challenge for her. There were moments when Blake felt a bond between the two of them, not unlike the bond he shared with his own daughter, Anne. As it happened, Anne had introduced him to Sarah. They had been college roommates for two years, and when Anne decided to move back home during her last year of undergraduate studies to save money, Sarah initially visited during holidays and weekends, eventually becoming a part of their family. In their social circle, Sarah had come to be known as Annie's best friend and the second daughter of the Blake family.

Sarah had pursued a journalism major and secured a job as a copy editor for a small local newspaper in Gaithersburg, Maryland, immediately after graduating. She believed it was a perfect fit for her since Gaithersburg was a place where nothing significant ever happened, ensuring that she would not make any consequential mistakes. Sarah had always been meticulous and conscientious, never wanting to be wrong. As Ed got to know her better, he often wondered aloud to his wife, Barbara, Why does she underestimate herself? She is astute, perceptive, and possesses a better bullshit detector than I have ever seen. And it was true. Over the years of their relationship, whenever Ed shared his various assignments as the lead investigative reporter on the Hill, Sarah would invariably point out angles he had overlooked or inconsistencies he had failed to notice. And more often than not, she would be right. If he delved deeper into what she had pointed out, he would find that her observations aligned with the facts. It was as if Sarah had an uncanny ability to sniff out deception. Inconsistencies that Ed dismissed initially often led to a more comprehensive understanding of different aspects of the story. During their casual interactions in his home, Ed realized that this young journalist had an extraordinary talent for uncovering inconsistencies in what he had believed to be the end of various scandals.

It was not uncommon for Ed to remark to his seasoned reporter friends, who worked alongside him at Washington D.C.'s most esteemed newspaper, that he didn't know how she did it, but she must have an exceptional bullshit detector.

***

Sarah decided to return to American University to pursue a master's degree in Journalism. The job in Gaithersburg no longer provided much of a challenge for her. At the age of 25, with her best friend also pursuing a master's degree, Sarah felt a longing for the academic environment. So, with the help of additional student loans, she juggled work and school while moving into the District.

Visiting Anne in the city had become a routine for them to find something enjoyable to do on weekends. However, the drive from Gaithersburg to the District had become cumbersome. Sarah conducted an extensive search for housing options in the District and eventually found a modest, almost Spartan, apartment in N.E., just a ten-minute drive from the Blake's home in Bethesda. This new location not only brought her closer to the Blake family but also provided easy access to American University.

Her new home was an integrated community in the near northeast, positioned east and north of Rock Creek Park. It offered proximity to the park's running trails and was north of the National Zoo. The housing complex, characterized by low-cost units, was predominantly occupied by single mothers of different races. From her initial days in this community, Sarah noticed how the children, predominantly boys, easily integrated and joyfully engaged in play with various objects, such as Frisbees and footballs. Traffic moved up and down the quiet street, almost like a backdrop to their play.

Sarah would often sit by her window in the early evenings, holding a cup of tea in her lap, observing the children's synchronized play amidst the passing cars. It resembled a dance on a stage as the boys swiftly moved toward the safety of the curb whenever a car approached, then rejoined the game with unwavering focus on the ball and the street. The asphalt playground seemed to serve a purpose that surpassed its original intent. Over time, Sarah became known to the boys and, in a peculiar way, found herself protected by their presence. When she returned from school or work and parked her car, the group of kids would gather and offer to carry anything for her or inquire about her well-being. Do you have a lot of homework, Miss Sarah? Was work okay today, Miss? How can we help you? It felt as though they refused to let her remain isolated. They demanded that she relax and recognize that she was now home, assuring her of their support. Initially, it felt overwhelming, as if they were overwhelming her with their desire to include her in their circle of care. However, with time, she embraced their acceptance of who she was and where she stood, understanding that they would be there for her, just as they had learned from their mothers to love and be of significance to others. Sitting in her window seat, Sarah observed their games and engagements with quiet amazement.

Another constant in Sarah's home was the presence of music. Each evening, as she entered the door, her first instinct was to turn on the radio, always tuned to WETA Classical Radio, the classical station in DC. The nightly selections featured works by the masters of the not-so-distant past—Beethoven, Mozart, Rachmaninoff, Brahms, and many others whose music had become familiar to her. This music provided her with a shield, protecting her from the silence of her childhood—a silence that could erupt into violence or the grim image of a father rendered unconscious due to excessive alcohol consumption. In such instances, Sarah would cover his body with a quilt, hoping it would provide enough comfort for both her and David, her older brother, to have a restful night, escaping the irrationality of his intoxicated state. She couldn't bear the silence of her childhood, and during her early college years as a guest in the Blake's home, she discovered that having the radio playing in the background helped alleviate her fears. It was almost an unspoken agreement that whoever arrived home first would switch on the music, providing a shield of comfort against the fear of unpredictability that had shaped her understanding of what a home could be.

Home had always been a perplexing question for her growing up in her family's house. Would he simply drink and mumble to himself, or would he explode into violence over something as trivial as a dish being placed in the wrong spot or a potato peel being discarded in the garbage instead of the sink's garbage disposal? He, of course, was no longer an issue for her, as he had killed himself while driving drunk years ago, thankfully causing damage only to a utility pole rather than another human being. David had called her to deliver the news of his death. Sarah remembered that call as the end of something, although she couldn't quite pinpoint what exactly had come to an end. David had concluded their conversation that night with the words, Sis, I want you to know that I do love you. I haven't always been good to you in many ways, but now that he's gone, if you ever need anything, I'll be there for you. Please don't forget me. She contemplated what those words might mean for her. She didn't even know how she might need him, perhaps for the sake of a niece or nephew. However, her understanding of family was more of a question than a connection to him as a brother or a person. Danny is taking me to AA tonight, and I'm ready to go. That was the last communication she had with him, and she refrained from initiating contact for several months after that night.

Barbara Blake had wanted to include David in their family celebrations such as Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sarah privately speculated that Barbara was subconsciously using David as a replacement for their son Chandler, who had distanced himself from the family and was now practicing law in New York. Barbara held the belief that David was a kind-hearted individual who shouldn't spend holidays alone.

David, four years Sarah's senior, had been devastated by their mother's passing. He feared losing the connection he had with her, as she had been his guiding light during the challenges he faced in school due to his learning disability, particularly his struggle with reading, which led to his grade retention. However, he gradually discovered his strengths and learned to accept his weaknesses. Their mother loved both of them unconditionally, standing in stark contrast to their father, who lacked the capacity for love. Their mother loved David in much the same way she loved Sarah, and during a leisurely day at the neighborhood park, while watching David's soccer practice, their mother assured Sarah, He does love you. Sarah responded, But Mom, he's always so angry. That moment etched into Sarah's memory encapsulated the gentle nature of a mother who was no longer present, a woman she believed incapable of finding fault or passing negative judgment. Sarah both loved her mother and feared that, like their mother, she too would be vulnerable to harm due to her inability to perceive deceit and malice, which, because of that fear, became all too apparent to Sarah.

Just days after that incident, as Sarah was leaving her downtown workplace, her mother was tragically killed in an accident caused by a drunk driver running a red light. Emergency personnel rushed her to the hospital, but the doctors pronounced her dead upon arrival. On that Friday night, the house felt empty, almost as if devoid of life. The two children remained alone, wondering where their parents were. The police car arrived, delivering their father home, and with those words, spoken by the man who was now their sole remaining parent, their world shattered. Your mother is dead, he uttered. I am telling both of you, she wanted to have children, and now she has left me to finish the job that was hers. God damn her! She told me she would do this, and now it is my responsibility to clean up her mess.

***

Ed observed Sarah as she walked to her desk, seated herself, turned on her computer, and started compiling her notes from the morning committee hearing on the Hill. Noting that it was after lunch, Ed walked down the hall to his office and picked up the phone. Initially intending to order a slice of pizza from the eatery next to the office, he changed his mind and called Sarah at her desk, aware that she probably hadn't eaten. He asked her preferences for the pizza he was about to order for both of them. Would you like a coke with it? he inquired when she answered, acknowledging that she hadn't had any lunch. Anchovies and pineapple—sure. One slice or two? After placing the order, Ed returned to the city room and caught Sarah's eye, motioning for her to join him in his office. She paused, closed the page she had been writing, and followed him down the hallway into the privacy of his office. This interaction wasn't out of the ordinary. Ed was now her boss and, in some ways, her protector and caregiver. When he had the opportunity to hire Sarah for the Post, he chose to bring her onto the Hill. He had since been promoted to City Editor, and over the years, their friendship had developed, making Ed a trusted figure in Sarah's life, although she remained guarded with him, much like with everyone else except Anne, her pseudo-sister.

Sarah settled into the comfortable chair in Ed's office, and the delivery person arrived with their lunch—pizza and cokes. The delivery person shared the news that their meal was on the house this time, as per the eatery owner's instructions. Ed jokingly replied, What does he want in return, free advertising? as he put his wallet back into his back pocket. The delivery person didn't respond and simply said, Well, a tip would be appreciated. Sarah reached into her pocket, pulled out a five-dollar bill, and handed it to him, saying, It will be our little secret, okay? The delivery person smiled and left, and Ed opened the box of pizza, and they began to eat.

So, how did the hearing go? Did you pick up on anything else? Sarah realized she didn't have her notebook with her and expressed her need to return with notes to provide specific details. Ed then responded, Eat first, and then we can talk.

Barbara wants you to come to dinner on Saturday. I'm not sure what she has in mind—maybe nothing. She just asked me to invite you. Sarah responded, I'd be glad to come for some good food. I think she believes I don't take care of myself, and perhaps she's right. Ed added, Barbara misses Annie not being around. Having one daughter is always better than none. Sarah then shared that she had spoken to Anne over the past weekend. They had a conversation for about an hour, but there wasn't anything significant to report—just that some of the people on her research team were difficult to connect with, and she felt a bit isolated. Ed asked, Do you think that will change, or is she in for a year of isolation? That will be tough for her. Sarah contemplated for a moment and replied, Knowing Anne, she will find a way to get what she needs.

It'll be several months before she can take a break and come home. And when that happens, I'm sure she'll want to relax and rest. I think this research project she's on is going to be a real pain in the ass. I believe Barbara wishes it had never come up. On one hand, she's glad Chandler is in New York. She's quite angry at him and needs the space to gain some perspective, understanding that he's just an angry kid, and it's not her fault. But she and Anne are so close. She didn't anticipate this separation. You might get pulled in to fill Annie's place for a while... Ed responded, I know, Sarah, and that's okay with me. I love Barbara. She has always been there for me, and I can do the same.

After finishing the pizza and drinking the cokes, Sarah excused herself and walked back to her desk. She returned with her notes from the morning and noticed the tension returning to her neck and back as she walked down the hall to Ed's office. She entered, opened her notebook, and began summarizing the morning hearing's key points. After a while, she stopped, looked at Ed, and said, You know, I don't enjoy this assignment. Ed replied, Okay, you don't have to like the people you cover. Your job isn't to like them. Keep going with the summary. Ed reviewed what she had summarized from the hearing, and then Sarah closed her notebook, looked at him, and stated, I really don't think I belong on the Hill, Ed. Ed responded firmly, I need you on the Hill. I explained this to you when I offered you the job. Sarah took a deep breath and expressed her hatred for the Hill, perceiving everyone there as snakes in the grass. She requested to be assigned to work on education or the city desk or anywhere else except Congress. She asked if she could have the next available opening in another department.

Ed took a deep breath and asked, Sarah, how long have I known you? Sarah thought for a moment and replied, Eight years, I think. Ed continued, And in those eight years, what have I learned about you as a reporter and journalist? Sarah looked back at him, unable to find an answer. Ed said, I have seen in you a crucial quality that a reporter in the capital must possess for their own survival—a keen ability to detect inconsistency, to recognize when someone is lying right to their face. You have an exceptional bullshit detector. I won't transfer you to an assignment where any fresh graduate could survive and learn; you don't need that kind of easy job. That's not where I need you, and it's not where the paper or the country needs you. But you do need a therapist. Sarah was taken aback. She didn't know how to respond and ended up doing nothing. Ed had never been so direct; though kind and gentle in his own way, he had laid it out bluntly.

Feeling dumbfounded, Sarah remained seated in the comfortable chair for a moment. Then, without thinking, she jumped up and left Ed's office. She returned to her computer and began typing. Her mouth felt dry, and her pulse raced. She wasn't sure if her legs would support her. With pounding keystrokes, she generated the notes for the day's trip to the Hill, organizing them in the proper directory. Without hesitation, she pressed the key to forward them to Ed. Feeling like a dry leaf caught in a windstorm, she went to the lounge to get a bottle of water. Confused and shaking, she walked out of the lounge, out of the city room, and onto the streets of D.C. She had an impulse to run but didn't know where to go. Her path led her to Foggy Bottom, past the Watergate, across to the State Department, and on to the GWU campus, passing the hospital and the downtown buildings. As she slowed down, she recognized a familiar face in the bustling crowd—Blake. He stopped as she approached, and when they met, he enveloped her in his arms. In that moment, she experienced a feeling she couldn't quite put into words—a sense of safety, tranquility in the midst of a storm, and protection. She couldn't label it, but she allowed herself to feel grounded, anchored in the sea of her own confusion. She realized she needed to take a different approach to manage the turmoil that had just erupted in her life. They walked back to the office, his arm on her shoulder, barely exchanging a word. Sarah vaguely remembered saying thank you, but she wasn't sure for what—coming after her, putting up with her, or perhaps something else entirely. She recognized that she had crossed a line and was grateful for the sense of stability.

Once again, Sarah found herself in the comfortable chair. Blake took out a small business card from his wallet and said, Susan Wilson, MSW, LCSW. I have spoken with her, and we have an appointment with her in about an hour. Please don't resist this, Sarah. In the future, you will look back on this day as a beginning, not a calamity. I went to see her when Chandler was giving us such a hard time, and I didn't know how to help him, myself, Anne, or Barbara. She was a tremendous help to everyone except Chandler, who refused to be helped. She taught me how to understand what I had control over and what I didn't. She will help you figure out what's troubling you and how to manage or let go of it. I want to take you there, but I want you to drive so you can feel in control of doing something for yourself. So, if you're up to it, let's leave.

Sarah took a deep breath, walked to her work station in the city room, shut down the computer, locked her desk after retrieving her purse and keys, and silently walked across the street to the parking facility for Post employees.

Chapter 2:

Wisconsin Avenue

Sarah was uncertain about her feelings as she got into her car and inserted the key into the ignition. Nevertheless, she turned the key and took the first step into her future.

They drove through Georgetown, passing the Cathedral, and continued northwest along Wisconsin Ave, past the Naval Hospital, until they reached the business district on the western edge of Bethesda. They arrived at a tall, five or six-story professional building situated on the right side of the Avenue.

The entire journey was conducted in silence. When they arrived at the address, he asked, Do you want me to stay here or go up to her office with you? Sarah preferred to go alone, so Ed reached for his briefcase, pulled out some papers for tomorrow’s edition, and began reading. Her name is on the card. I will wait here until you are finished, he said. Sarah took a deep breath, unsure of what to do, but she decided to proceed to the third floor and talk to the woman whom Ed believed could help ease her fears.

She rode the elevator to the third floor and almost directly stepped into an office with Susan’s name on the door. Behind a reception desk, a pleasantly smiling woman in her forties greeted her. Sarah introduced herself and informed the receptionist about her appointment with Susan. She was handed a clipboard with a sheet of paper to fill in her information for Susan’s records. She also provided her insurance documents, which the woman copied and returned to her after she finished filling out the initial interview forms. Checking her watch, she realized she was a little early for the appointment, so she picked up a magazine, Today’s World, from the top of the stack to pass the time. Sarah knew that an associate of hers had a featured article in this edition, so she started reading.

Within moments, she felt a shift in energy and noticed a woman in her early 50s, dressed casually but neatly, standing beside her with her hand extended in greeting. Betty, the office manager, introduced her to Susan and provided Sarah’s interview data for Susan’s records. With everything set up, Betty excused herself, leaving Sarah alone with Susan.  Susan suggested Sarah take a seat, and she positioned herself at her chair in front of her desk, which was placed on one of the four walls, leaving no barrier between them. Sarah sat directly in front of the picture of the twirling woman in the Red Dress, and she hoped that Susan would have a number of questions to prompt the discussion as Sarah herself was a little dumbstruck, and simply did not know what to say. Susan sat in her desk chair and when both were settled Susan asked if Sarah could describe what happened today which triggered the kind of escape solution that Ed had described to her in his call to arrange for a meeting. Do you have a sense of what happened to prompt your leaving the building this afternoon, Sarah?

Today something happened to make me leave the building where I work and take a long walk through Foggy Bottom, Ed came and found me down by GWU, and he told me that we had this appointment. There was a short pause and then Susan spoke, Sarah what happened to make you feel you needed to leave the building? Susan, I really do not know, I just felt I needed to walk away, from the building, and the task at hand, the feeling I had was that of being trapped, but I have no idea why I felt I was trapped. I generally feel pretty relaxed at work, well, not relaxed really, but close to relaxed, I think. Susan thought about what she had just heard in Sarah’s description of what had happened and then asked, Was there something in one of your tasks that felt not achievable to you? She paused and then it flashed across a mental screen. She had made a request for a transfer off the Hill, and Ed had said no, that he hired her for the gifts she had, and they were best placed in the Congress, not anywhere else, and she felt trapped. She then related the conversation and the internal response she had noted, the shortness of breath, the shaking, the rush of ideas and fears, and then said, I thought I could walk it away. There was a moment of silence and Susan asked, Has outrunning the fear worked for you in the past?

Sarah thought about the question and wondered why this woman was not laughing or just telling her ‘what nonsense,’ and yet she did not, she rather seemed like she wanted to know if that solution to being in a bind had ever worked before today.

And in that moment she felt different about being here, there was no ridicule in the question, rather, a real question about how she was, and how she felt, and how she had learned to take care of herself in the past. There was no sense of ridicule, or even the smallest judgment, that she seemed to be curious without any judgment implied. Sarah took in a deep breath, and said, Susan, don’t you think that is stupid to just take off out of your office and run until you feel like you can regain control? Not if it had helped in the past, if something, even something which does not make a lot of sense to others, helps us manage an event which makes us feel insecure or afraid, it seems to me that we might just be tempted to try it again.

Susan inquired about Sarah’s growing up time, her memories of her Mother, and the times after she died, and David, how he was as a brother to her, and how he was doing now. She would ask a question and then say, Can you tell me more about that, and then take a few sparse notes on her tablet, and then just seem to share her own feelings and thoughts, her questions, and her observations, and within a few moments she was aware that she and Susan had been talking for the hour and more. Sarah said, Oh I have taken more than my hour, and Susan said they could meet one more time next week, and then they could decide if they both felt that they could do what Sarah needed to do together, I feel we could work well together, Sarah, but I want you to be sure that we can develop the trust necessary to help you feel more comfortable. Sarah thought a moment, and replied that she felt she was comfortable in this relationship and had no need to look for what Susan had referred to as a better fit.

They walked out into a now empty office, Susan made an appointment for her on Monday of next week and as she handed the appointment card to Sarah she explained that she was available to help by phone, or unscheduled times, If she felt the need to call, to not talk herself out of it, at least not now, early in the process. Sarah thanked her for the card, and walked, if not a new woman, at least one that knew she now had an ally in her corner. Sarah ran down the stairs rather than taking the elevator, and ran across the parking lot to rejoin Ed, who had decided to take a nap in these moments. Ed roused from his nap greeted Sarah with the question, Well Sarah, how was it, I told you she would be a great ally for you, did you find that could possibly be true for you? I have to say she is easy to speak with, and do you think that she has read the library she has there in her office? It is extensive! Ed took in a deep breath, almost of relief, and replied that he thought from his experience with her that she had both read and studied each of those books and that Sarah could count on her utilizing all of that knowledge in Sarah’s best interests.

Sarah pulled out into the street and headed south into the district to put Ed into his car to go home. Can I tell Barbara that you had a good appointment with Susan? I would like to reassure her because I told her I might be late because I was coming with you to the appointment. Of course, I know she is concerned and she loves me, I do not want her to worry, and I feel that it is okay. Good, I am glad. As they proceeded into the district, and toward the parking facility, Sarah took a deep breath, and stopped at a red light turned to Ed, and feeling a little sense of shame about her resistance to seeking help in the past, said you know I feel a little silly about putting up such a resistance to your previous suggestions that I make an appointment with Susan. She is easy to talk with and she gives you the feeling that what you are saying, even when it feels to you kind of crazy, that she has heard it before and she makes no such judgment. In fact, I had the sense when I was speaking to her about some of the craziness that David and I went through, that she could have stopped me in mid-sentence and filled in the rest of the sentence accurately. Ed had a smile on his face, and he said, You know I had the same impression when I first saw her, and I know exactly what you mean.

They drove to the parking facility and Ed reached over to give her a hug, and he exited the car saying that he would see her in the morning. I will call Barbara when I get home, but please tell her I am glad I got to see Susan, and I think she can help me a lot.

Sarah drove away heading for the central city, and found herself mentally reflecting on her hour with Susan, and unconscious of the fact she pondered the past hour and had a smile on her face as she wound her way up to the area of the near northeast and her home.

The parking place was in the midst of the current activity which was driven by a Frisbee and about 9 or 10 of the boys. They all gathered as she pulled into the area, and as she exited the car the kids began to tell her that she looked happy and more relaxed, Miss Sarah, you look like you are not so tired like you usually feel, you look like you had a good day. Eric, the boy who had commented, smiled, and Sarah put her arm around him, and thanked him for noticing, and she walked in the group up to the doorway, agreeing that the gang could help by taking the bag of trash to the dumpster for her, which they all agreed to do.

That would be a pleasure. She passed the big bag out the door to the group, and they were off to the dumpster. She flipped on the radio, and found the featured composer was Liszt. The sound of the Cello and Piano on the radio, with the melodic strains, of the gentle blends of melody and harmony, filling the space, and she understood how additive Liszt was to her current mood, and sense of hope, and was grateful to the programmer who selected the program which now brought a sense of hope, a rarity in her experience.

She remembered she had promised to call Barbara, so she went to the phone and called. Barbara must have been sitting next to the phone as she picked up before the end of the first ring. Sarah reassured Barbara by providing her with great detail about the appointment, her observation that the quality of Susan’s openness and almost uncanny openness and awareness of not being judgmental about issues and solutions. She spoke in detail about the environment of the office and since Barbara had been there she could share in Sarah’s reaction to the Woman in the Red Dress painting. When I first walked in Barbara that painting just hit me between the eyes. I had the same experience with my first visit to the office, Sarah; it just made me long for that kind of energy and exuberance which it seems to exemplify. I even said to Susan at the end of our first meeting, that I would love to be able to feel like that woman in the painting, and her comment to me was that she bought the painting on a trip to the west in a little shop in New Mexico because it seemed to personify what she wanted her clients to be able to work toward in their work with her.

The evening went smoothly, Sarah showered and got ready for bed, she had eaten a small dinner, and done several chores which only added to her general sense of well-being, and with the music she loved in the background, she was in bed and reading, her normal pattern, and asleep soundly by ten o’clock. As the morning broke she woke refreshed, and felt like almost nothing could intrude on her sense of well-being; and then she looked at her calendar and noted that her morning would be almost exactly what she had the day before. This time the hearing which