The Transcendent

By Jami Christine

Seventeen-year-old Lessie Morrison has endured her fair share of car accidents, falls, and house fires, but not in the ways one would think. She is gifted with the unique-and unwanted-ability to leave her body behind as her spirit assists a departing soul to The Other Side if they're dying alone. As if high school isn't hard enough for an unpopu

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jami Papenberg
• Release date: Feb 1, 2024
• ISBN: 9781735724850

Jami Christine

A big dreamer in a small town, Jami Christine expresses her dreams through art, literature, and music. Embarking on her soul-searching journey at 13 years old, Jami navigated the waters of human emotions; both turbulent and serene, murky and clear, toxic and thriving; and has been passionate about assisting others on their own soul journeys through many healing arts modalities, and now, through the adventure of fiction.

Book preview

1

The energy of the cosmos rushed through Lessie Morrison as she was sucked from her kitchen table and thrown into the passenger’s seat of a car screeching through the darkness. She had been minding her own business with her sketch pad under the bright lights of the kitchen before her attention was jarred by a startled deer dodging the hood of the car in the dark night. She was thrown back against the leather upholstery as the car swerved, and the headlights illuminated a telephone pole. The car jerked again and careened over the shoulder of the road, crashing through the prairie grass and approaching the telephone pole at frightening speed.

The terrified young driver screamed. Her dark brown knuckles nearly turned white from her grip on the steering wheel. At the second of impact, Lessie squeezed her eyes shut and instinctively threw her arms around her, plunging them into silence only broken by their panting breaths.

Lessie opened her eyes and released the girl from her arms as she took in the familiar white haze surrounding them.

The girl squinted through the misty light. Am I… dead? she asked in a shaky voice. Her eyes finally met Lessie’s.

Lessie ran her hand through her thick, wavy hair as she exhaled and nodded. Yeah. She tried to sound sympathetic. She had done this so many times that it was hard not to sound too conversational.

The girl frowned, seeming to try to make sense of her situation. Who are you?

I’m called a Transcendent, Lessie said. I show up to help you cross over so you don’t have to die alone. The girl responded with a blank stare, which turned to curiosity as she lifted her arm to shield her eyes from a brilliant white light that began growing before them.

Squinting against the light, they watched as glowing figures with outstretched arms moved toward them. They emitted a familiar presence, and the girl’s face softened as her shoulders relaxed.

Their eyes met again, and Lessie offered her an encouraging smile. The girl returned it, now beaming as radiantly as the spirits who joined her. Say hi to Grandpa for me, Lessie said. In a brilliant flash, the girl was gone, and Lessie was engulfed by the rush of the cosmos coursing through her once more, catapulting her back into the kitchen.

She resurfaced with a loud staticky pop, and she blinked several times as she focused her eyes on the sketchbook in front of her. She looked up to see Nana leaning back in the chair across from her, watching her intently with crossed arms. A knowing smile tugged at the corner of her wrinkled mouth. Lessie pressed her lips together and returned her focus to the few loose strokes she had started drawing before she was interrupted by the Universe. She tried to pretend nothing had happened.

Where did you go this time? her grandmother asked gently.

Nowhere, just spaced out, Lessie replied, absently making more strokes with her charcoal pencil.

I know that look, honey. You weren’t just spaced out. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table, her eyes not leaving her granddaughter. Where did you go?

Lessie sighed again and looked up at the old woman, trying to hide the frustration etched all over her face. She slumped in her seat, surrendering. It was a girl in a car accident. Dodged a deer and hit a telephone pole. She returned her focus to her sketchbook.

Nana nodded, understanding laced across her solemn face. Living through a person’s death right along with them was difficult to get used to. She’d been through it herself countless times. Nana reached across the table and placed her hand on her granddaughter’s. Celeste, I know this is hard. I know it’s frustrating. But just try to remember, you have an awareness that many people can only dream of having in their lifetime. And insight that most don’t even know is possible. It’s a gift.

Nana, you know I like to be called Lessie, she grumbled, avoiding her comment. She added a few more strokes and blended the deep black lines together. She appreciated the normalcy of schoolwork, especially her favorite subject, art, where she felt at home behind her pencil or paintbrush. It was the escape she needed from her bizarre life.

Nana’s attention dropped to her laced fingers. You don’t have to pretend it doesn’t happen when you’re around me, you know.

Guilt settled on Lessie’s chest. She knew Nana only wanted to help. She was the only one who could help if help were possible. She took a breath and said, I just want to be normal…

Nana nodded, lifting her eyes to meet Lessie’s. I know what you mean, sweetie. I was a teenager once, too. Silence hung in the air between them. In a soft voice, Nana added, It’s our challenges that shape us into better, stronger people, you know.

Lessie turned her pencil around in her small hands, no longer able to focus on her schoolwork. Her gift provided plenty of challenges, but she certainly didn’t feel any better or stronger.

Finally, Nana stood from the table, came around to Lessie’s side, and gave her shoulder a squeeze. I’m here if you ever need to talk. You know that. Her voice was comforting yet carried a slight undertone of defeat. She ambled away toward the living room.

Lessie sighed as she dropped her cheek onto her fist and stared at her unfinished sketch. For once, she’d just like to forget that she was a Transcendent. She craved her former life, before her first calling, when she was normal. Well, a little more normal than she was currently; she never really did fit in. She stared out the window as the setting sun cast an orange and red glow over the trees and fields before slowly fading to the dark indigo of night.

She remembered the first time it happened. She was standing in the kitchen with Nana and her mother, Lynne, helping with dishes and chatting about school. She was fourteen years old, finding her balance between childhood and growing up. She was a bit of a misfit in school, and the small student population didn’t help with her ability to make friends, but it was nothing like what she was about to encounter.

Lessie’s grandpa, Bill Gardener, had passed away when she was twelve. Nana started living with Lessie’s family shortly after his death, both to help with the house and with Lessie while Lynne and her husband, Sam, worked—also for Nana’s sake since she couldn’t drive. Lessie had always been close with her grandmother, but having her around all the time, especially after Lessie gained the same ability as her grandmother, proved to be more of a blessing than any of them expected.

She remembered the kitchen fading away as the whoosh that she had come to know all too well rushed through her while her heartbeat sped up and the blood pounded in her ears. A normal response would have been to panic, but somehow, instead, she felt as though she had purpose, like some cosmic hand was reaching out and guiding her. She felt out-of-body, light as air, and fluid as water. She was floating but grounded all at the same time. She suddenly found herself inside a roaring fire, instantly aware that she could feel no heat. Ceiling rafters and floorboards collapsed around her, dropping ashes and embers to the basement below. She heard sirens outside and searched the blaze for firefighters or rescue personnel. There was no one. Her eyes suddenly fell on a boy about her own age, lying sprawled and face-down among the flames, right at her feet.

It was as though the cosmic hand that had been guiding her along was still with her, keeping her calm and filling her with a knowing that she was there for a purpose. She felt no fear nor any reason to question what was happening. She dropped to her knees by the boy’s side, hesitating before touching him. She could see his back rise and fall slowly and painfully with each strained breath.

A splitting, creaking sound caught her attention above her head, and she looked up just as the rafters gave out. Instinct kicked in as she let out a yelp, falling forward and covering the boy with her body to protect him just as the burning rafters crashed on top of them.

Silence.

She blinked as she lifted herself off the boy, watching him with wide eyes as he sat up and took in his surroundings with trepid curiosity. They were engulfed in a white haze, no longer in the fire, and watched together as a brilliant light grew in front of them, blinding and consuming them with immense joy and love and peace, unlike anything Lessie had ever felt before. She was captivated and awestruck by the growing feeling that she was in the presence of a power much greater than she ever knew existed. Was this death? It was a strange sensation—a consuming joy that made her feel as though she could easily leave her world behind and gladly enter this one without a second thought. If it was her time, of course. The boy’s wide-eyed, serene expression implied he felt the same.

Spirits emerged, coming for the boy with outstretched arms. He stood, his face soft with wonder as he felt the same oneness and power, and her own heart raced with the thrill of what she was witnessing.

The boy turned his head slowly to meet Lessie’s eyes, and he gave her a small, contented smile that gleamed in his brown eyes. His dusty blond hair was illuminated by the glow of the light as it grew brighter. Lessie laughed, the sudden burst surprising her, but she was consumed with such an unexplainable joy that she couldn’t help but laugh.

I died, didn’t I? he said, his voice calm and curious.

Yeah, Lessie replied. Are you okay? Everything about him said he was, but still, he did just die. She felt the question was necessary to ask.

He nodded thoughtfully. Yeah, but it’s weird. This is kind of exciting… He watched as the spirits continued to gather and smiled as he added, I feel like I woke up from a long dream.

Lessie followed his gaze as a deep sense of knowing continued to fill her. It appeared she had answers there at the veil, answers she didn’t otherwise have in her normal life. Yeah… It’s like life is just a temporary thing. We don’t know that when we’re in it, but… She chuckled, then finished, It was all just a dream. Now you get to go do the real stuff.

The light grew brighter, and she gestured toward it as though holding open a door for him, and he gave her a slight nod and a grin. Thanks, he said, for being with me. A sense of accomplishment swelled in her heart.

Several of the beings gathered around him, and he waved as he linked his arms with two of them. All at once, they were engulfed in light, and the world around her illuminated to such piercing brilliance she felt as though she were becoming the light herself. Suddenly everything was sucked into gray, and she was thrown back into her previous presence in the kitchen.

Lessie blinked and took in her surroundings as a shiver ran through her. She was still holding a plate in one hand and a towel in the other, standing motionless as if she had been in a daze.

Celeste? Lynne asked her daughter quietly.

Lessie swallowed and turned her head toward her mother, her neck muscles feeling stiff like they hadn’t moved in hours. She rolled her shoulders to coax life back into them. Lynne and Nana were both staring at her, though with different expressions. Lynne’s was a frown of concern and confusion. Nana’s was a gentle, knowing smile.

Lessie shook her head, looked back at the plate in her hand, and began absently moving the towel across it. I must have spaced out… she croaked through her dry throat. She cleared it and set the dish down, reaching for another one. Her mind felt scattered. Maybe that was just some crazy daydream, she told herself, though deep down, she knew the answer. She knew this ability existed in their family. She watched Nana space out countless times and heard her stories of crossing souls over to the other side. She knew it was possible it could be her one day. But now that it happened, the reality of it was a little too real.

Nana and Lynne were still staring. Lessie looked up at them both. What? she asked, feeling defensive.

Where did you go? Nana asked softly.

Lessie blinked a few times, taking in her waiting eyes and the wrinkles around their edges that deepened with her comforting smile. Nana just watched her, waiting for a response. She knew.

What? Lessie asked with nervous hesitation.

Lynne glanced at Nana with uncertainty, then returned her focus to Lessie. You spaced out like you were… somewhere else, she said.

Nana watched her unwavering expression, searching for clues and confirmation of what she already knew. You got called, didn’t you? Where did you go?

Lessie tried to surrender to the fact that what just happened was not some kind of crazy daydream. Her heart picked up speed with nerves and denial as the reality of what just happened sank in more and more. She tried to recall the peace she felt in the fire, wanting to bring back that feeling of purpose and knowing. She wasn’t nervous or scared or in denial there. It felt amazing. Here, it was different. Why?

She took a steadying breath. Well… I was in… a fire? She began slowly, carefully, wording it like a question because she still couldn’t believe it was real. She retold the story of the boy at her feet, the crashing rafters, the white haze, and the light. She sounded crazy. Shaking her head, she said, I must’ve just daydreamed. It’s stupid. She looked back at the dry dish in her hand and continued absently brushing the towel across it.

Nana’s crystal blue eyes met Lessie’s—their matching feature had given Nana the suspicion that Lessie would someday follow in her footsteps, and that day, her suspicion was confirmed. She placed her hand on her young granddaughter’s shoulder. You’re a Transcendent, Lessie, she whispered. Lessie’s heart momentarily stopped. Those words were too real; they teetered on the edge of unbelievable. Just like me.

Lessie’s stomach turned, and she tried to search her memory for Nana’s stories and what she had explained about the ability. She wished she’d paid more attention to her.

Lynne still looked concerned yet fascinated. Lessie felt as though she could also detect a sense of heaviness in her eyes as the realization set in that her daughter would see and experience some things most normal fourteen-year-olds couldn’t imagine.

Lessie chewed her bottom lip as Nana took her arm and guided her to the living room.

I got this, Nana said to Lynne with a reassuring nod, leaving her to the dishes alone. Lynne nodded in reply.

Lessie perched at the edge of the couch, unable to relax. Nana studied Lessie’s face, taking in her presence and her demeanor as if searching for clues to what she might be processing in her mind. Nana then began explaining their gift and life as a Transcendent. Lessie’s eyes grew wide—she’d be present at the moment of countless people’s deaths. She’d be the one to cross them over. She swallowed against a knot in her throat, her shoulders suddenly feeling heavy. Of course it was scary, but she tried to recall the sense of purpose she felt when the boy crossed over. She wasn’t scared at the veil.

Nana leaned in closer and added, We’re the comfort for the human mind as it faces death and the link for souls to leave the body and return to where they came from.

Lessie’s eyes fell to her knees as her fourteen-year-old mind tried to process what Nana just said, not to mention the magnitude of her ability. She lifted her eyes again, squinting. Where they came from? Where is that, exactly?

Nana shrugged as though this were simple, everyday conversation. Heaven, The Other Side, whatever you want to call it.

Heaven, Other Side, Source—it was all the same to Lessie. Her family never followed organized religion and often used their own terms to reflect their personal beliefs, even though it set them apart from most of their primarily Christian Southern Illinois community.

Lessie tried to comprehend the idea of something existing beyond the world she knew. It seemed impossible, and yet, she was just there… "But where was I? she asked. Is Heaven a place? Where is it?"

Nana smiled softly. "It’s not physical, not a place we can just hop on a bus and go. It’s why we’re called Transcendents. We transcend this physical place to somewhere beyond it. Your physical body stays here, and your spirit goes to the person who’s dying. And just like you left your body behind, they leave theirs behind, and your spirits transcend together. The difference is, you’re still tethered to your body, because it’s alive, and you return to your body when the spirit you joined crosses over."

Lessie tried to process her words, picturing an invisible version of herself leaving her body behind. So, I’m basically in two places at once? she asked.

Nana gave a half-shrug and a nod. Basically, yes. I don’t exactly know all the answers, my dear, or how best to explain it all. It’s not like there are reference books or manuals with answers. All I have to go on is what I’ve learned from the generations before me. And we continue to learn more each time.

Lessie studied her expression again. She remembered Nana saying their hereditary ability skipped a generation. How long have you been doing this?

Since I was twelve, she replied. And my grandfather helped me through, just as I’m going to help you.

Lessie thought about how long she might have been gone helping that boy in the fire. Had she been staring blankly with a plate in her hand the whole time? Just spaced out? It was too much… She shook her head in refusal. I can’t do this, she stated firmly. I... I can’t... this is crazy.

I’m afraid we don’t have a choice, Nana responded, a slight undertone of pity in her voice. I’m sorry. I know it’s a lot to process. But for some reason, we were chosen for this job in this lifetime. We have to fulfill it. She gave her a sympathetic half-smile.

Many questions eddied in Lessie’s mind. What if this happens at school?

It’s going to happen anywhere and everywhere, Nana replied. You’ll get used to it. Though I hate to say, people will notice that you space out from time to time. She looked at her granddaughter apologetically. Lessie frowned. She was just entering high school, already not one of the cool kids, and now she had to add some weird spacing out condition to the mix? Great, Lessie thought. As though being a teenager wasn’t hard enough. She scowled at the floor. You’ll figure that out, too, Nana added, trying to sound reassuring. But we’ll talk with your parents. There are medical conditions we can use to explain to the school why you space out, and nobody has to ask any further questions.

Lessie thought back to the boy lying in the fire, burning alive… A knot twisted in her stomach, but it released some as she remembered the light and the sight of his strong, healthy presence as he crossed over. And that light… it was incredible. She looked up at Nana. I saw a light, she said. It was amazing…

Nana nodded, smiling. That’s the Other Side. You were just in the in-between.

Will I ever get to see the Other Side?

Nana’s smile shifted slightly, and after a moment’s hesitation, she replied, Only when you get to cross over yourself, unfortunately. You’ll have to wait until it’s your time to go.

When I die, you mean.

Nana nodded with a partial shrug. "Well, when your body dies, yes. Your spirit never dies."

Is there anyone else out there who can do this? Lessie asked, trying to sort through her mind’s constant barrage of questions.

Nana pursed her lips, squinting thoughtfully. I have a feeling your cousin, Will, can too. He has our eyes.

Lessie studied Nana’s pale crystal blue irises. They were so unlike most blue eyes, except her own. Hers were the same. Her thoughts traveled to her cousin—sometimes she forgot she even had a cousin. She had two, William and Camryn Gardener. Her Uncle Ron, Nana’s oldest son, had taken them away to live in Seattle after his wife, Jodi, died in a car accident. After that, he never spoke to the rest of the family again. Lessie hadn’t been born yet, so she never met her cousins or learned what caused the separation.

Why don’t we talk to them? Lessie questioned.

Nana shook her head as sadness clouded her features. I don’t know, sweetie. I’ve tried so many times to look for them. I found them once years ago, that’s how we know they’re in Seattle, but Ron wouldn’t answer my calls or letters.

Lessie’s mind overflowed with questions. More questions only continued to surface as the next few years passed and countless souls were transported to the Other Side.

She tapped her pencil against the table next to her sketchbook. It had been three years since her first calling, and Nana did her best to help and guide Lessie. She had been through all the emotions Lessie struggled with and had wondered the same questions Lessie asked. Lessie sighed, still feeling guilty for lying to her about spacing out moments ago. She knew she couldn’t hide from her life and knew hiding from Nana would only make things harder.

Lessie stood and walked into the living room. Sinking into the soft couch cushion next to her grandmother, she leaned her head on her shoulder and asked, What is all this about, Nana? This life? What we do. Why us?

The old woman sighed as she placed a comforting hand on Lessie’s knee. Those are big questions, my dear.

"But what do you think?"

Nana thought for a moment, then replied, "I think we’re all just here to learn and grow and become better versions of ourselves. Evolve is probably a good word. And, like I’ve said before, the best way to do that is through our challenges. We happen to have been chosen for this particular purpose, I suppose."

Lessie pondered her words, frowning. It’s challenging, alright, she said in a low voice.

And the wiser and stronger you’ll be because of it, Nana said.

Lessie put her focus on the TV, as did Nana, both mutually exhausting the conversation. Lessie’s eyes fell on the photograph of her grandpa, Bill, smiling from the shelf on the wall alongside Nana in their younger years. Lessie mused about her family’s complete lack of the fear of death. It was comforting to know that what awaited them in the Beyond was so amazing and beautiful that it was almost exciting to get to leave their world behind. She wished she’d had that awareness five years ago when her grandfather died. She felt the loss and the void he left in all of their lives, yet Nana had stayed so strong through the entire process. The heart attack, the funeral preparations, the funeral and burial. Nana wasn’t numbly going through the motions like most widowed spouses did. She experienced the process fully, as though it were as real and as meaningful as the day they were married. It was beautiful, really.

Lessie finally understood why Nana handled it the way she did. Because it truly was a special occasion. Nana had seen it for what it really was—the man she loved in this physical life got to depart and return Home. She knew he was where he belonged—where all of them belonged, and that someday she’d be with him again when her time was through on this physical plane. And that… that was a beautiful thing.

Lessie sighed, lifting her head from Nana’s shoulder. Want to play Scrabble? It was her grandmother’s favorite game.

Nana’s eyes brightened as a warm smile spread across her face. That sounds fun, she said, and Lessie grinned, standing to retrieve the game from under the coffee table. As she set up the board and they began drawing their pieces, she thought about her family. How her parents had been so supportive, even though they couldn’t fully understand what she was going through. Lessie’s mother had grown up with Nana spacing out regularly, and because Nana was open with her children and husband about her ability, everyone simply accepted it.

Lessie’s dad, Sam, had always possessed a curiosity about what went on behind the scenes on a spiritual level, thus making Lynne a perfect match for him, given her upbringing and her mother’s unique life. Their baby girl, born with crystal blue eyes like her Nana’s, inspired them to give her a name with a cosmic theme.

Would you like to go first, Celeste? Nana asked.

Lessie wrinkled her nose. Ugh. Please call me Lessie. She placed a series of tiles on the board and relaxed into the sense of feeling somewhat normal.

Nana chuckled. But your name reflects the heavens, and I like it.

It reflects the fact that I’m not normal, Lessie muttered as she collected enough letters to spell FREAK and placed them in the middle of the board.

Nana let out a laugh, shaking her head, and Lessie couldn’t help but smile. As the game drew on, Lessie felt happiness settle into her heart. Despite her ability—her life—totally cramping her teenage existence, despite feeling like a total freak, despite feeling isolated from any kind of normalcy, when she sat and really thought about it, it was all pretty cool. It made her appreciate life on a much deeper level.

2

The world spun, and the familiar rush of blood and cosmos pounded in Lessie’s ears as her heart picked up its pace. She was coming back. Another soul had crossed to the Other Side with her guidance, this time an archery hunting accident somewhere in the northern Midwest. A boy in a tree stand, unsupported by any kind of safety harness, made one wrong move that tripped the cosmic signal to transport Lessie into his world, falling alongside him as he screamed. She held her breath and squeezed her eyes shut as she reached for him and pulled him in tight, their souls vanishing together just before his body landed broken on the ground.

It was a smooth transition as he let go of his earthly desires and fears and allowed her to help him rejoin the spirits of his departed loved ones. Feeling the joy and peace radiating from that light always made it easier. She wondered when his body would be found, how long it would take the family to realize he was gone and then to find him. She couldn’t help but linger on those thoughts. Each time meant someone was dying alone, and usually, that meant they were in tricky situations of being able to be discovered, especially at seventeen years old.

She found herself standing at her locker, staring at the combination lock, its cool metal resting between her motionless fingers. She shook her head. She knew she had to stop thinking about the aftermath of the deaths. Her job was to assist the departure, that’s it. What happened to the body had nothing to do with her. How the families and friends handled it wasn’t up to her, either. Nature and fate would take care of all of it.

Lessie? She heard her name like a faraway echo. Lessie? a little clearer and closer. She finally snapped out of her daze and turned to look into the awaiting dark blue eyes of her friend, Emily Austin, who sighed and smiled. You back?

Lessie swallowed and nodded. Yeah, sorry. The usual sense of embarrassment turned in her chest and tightened in her throat. She returned her focus to her locker, twisting the lock and hugging her books against her. Did the bell ring?

Yeah, we’re tardy, Emily replied with a casual shrug, tucking back a loose strand of blond hair that hadn’t made it into her ponytail.

Lessie groaned. You really don’t have to wait for me when that happens, she said as they hurried toward their history class. She meant what she said, though a bigger part of her was grateful for Emily’s loyalty and friendship. She was the only person outside of Lessie’s family who knew about her ability. Not only did Emily accept her, but she was also filled with an eager curiosity about her friend’s unique life.

It’s cool, you know that, Emily reassured with another shrug, meeting her eyes with sincerity. I’d feel bad just leaving you staring off into space like that.

Lessie grimaced, heat rising to her cheeks. God, I must look like a total freak, she thought as she pictured herself in a blank daze. People peg you as a weirdo by association because of me.

Emily shrugged again. Whatever, screw those guys. Lessie cracked a small smile. If only she could borrow some of Emily’s