They Knew Me Not!

By R. A. Busayo

This book is a riveting account of RA Busayo’s life experiences through her lens and perspective. She details the woes of suicide, neglect, abuse, faith, and incredible determination to plow forward through life in the hope of a better future.

“I can now shed light and say that, at the moment, you are so broken and distant from the world that those things don't carry the same weight anymore. The love and care are still there. Their meaning in your heart is still there, but the weight of carrying them is gone. All you feel is the weight of everything wrong and all your mistakes. I felt so boxed in for years. I felt like I was screaming. The walls kept closing in, and no one could hear me. Ironically sometimes, I didn’t even know if I wanted people to hear me because I didn’t want to see pity on their faces.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 5, 2024
• ISBN: 9798369415818

R. A. Busayo

RA Busayo is a mother, minister, entrepreneur, medical professional, author, and public speaker. She has spent her life serving God and inspiring others through her acts of service, love, and care. She came from humble beginnings with many obstacles to overcome. She is here to be a voice for those who can relate to the struggles of life and shine a light.

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They Knew Me Not!

R. A. Busayo

Copyright © 2024 by R. A. Busayo.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 02/16/2024

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

851581

Contents

Introduction

The Attraction

The First Time

Back to His First

The Commitment

The Wedding

The Marriage

As a Child

The Mother

Sheila, The Hero

The Grandmother, The Pastor, The Confidant

The Grandfather

The Rape

The Divorce

The Suicide Thought

Starting Over

From Surviving to Living

Introduction

Who I Am as a Wife

A woman who is vibrant and sensational

Meek and humble, sensual and discerning,

Modest and submissive, protected and safe,

Secure in her safety and admonished for her desire.

I roll out the red carpet.

My body is your body, and we are bonded in every way.

I know you because I have taken the time to learn about you, watch you, pray for you, and wait for you.

I am the remedy to your stress and confusion.

When you have an itch, I scratch, and I’m available.

I’m your date, your exploration, and your destination.

Your prayer warrior, your intercessor, your confidant, and your friend.

I am a wife!

At least, so I thought.

I wanted to be, after God, the thing you could not live without.

Proverbs 31:11 describes a virtuous woman whose husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

You knew I could walk in any room, and be around any man, and I only thought of you.

I never allowed unwholesome speech or a male confidant except for you and God.

She brings him good not harm all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:12).

In my plight I covered you. I sheltered you from yourself until I couldn’t any longer.

When your fidelity was questioned, I didn’t let them destroy you.

I stood up for you.

The scandal was just a moment in time, a lapse of judgment. A man is a man, or so I told myself.

Even after I begged and pleaded to no end.

She was more important, even though I was your friend.

I never gave light to your anger or aggression.

I never said the babies could have died.

Instead, I lied by only telling a portion of the truth.

You see, I’m a wife; a virtuous woman is in me.

She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls (Proverbs 31:15).

All the days and nights with no sleep!

I kept you company at work all night and day.

I even played it off and made it OK,

especially when you wouldn’t let us sleep and disturbed us anyway.

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her task. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night (Proverbs 31:17).

I studied the word day and night before I knew you, while I was with you, and now after you.

I studied for the degrees you made hard for me to get, but I pressed on for a better life for our nucleus.

She extends her arm to the poor (Proverbs 31:20).

I have outreached with you and even given away my things at your behest. Things you said, but never gave back.

She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple (Proverbs 31:22).

I kept your home clean, your children well managed, food cooked (three meals a day), and wore the clothes you asked me to wear.

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat amongst the elders of the land" (Proverbs 31:23).

No one knew!

No one knew because they needed to respect you.

Even if they believed in God in me, they could only show respect to the face and countenance opposite me.

They would not respect me if they did not respect you.

It’s the world we live in; it’s the truth!

She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue (Proverbs 31: 25–26).

The resentment was blatant in that marriage of mine.

A voice that was never heard, and an ear that was never given.

Only folly that measured our fate, ended up separated, broken apart, and divorced became our standing and our state.

Finally, Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30).

Every time I rubbed you, I prayed for you.

When things were bad, I blessed you.

I toiled in the spirit for you, the ministry, and the family, the