First Love, Once Removed Ep 7

By Laci Maskell

Livia has been in love with exactly two men in her lifetime.Jean-Luc was her first. He was the passionate, whirl-wind romance she never quite got over.Lucas is her second. He is her rock, her safe place, her forever. At least she thinks.Until Jean-Luc re-enters her life and splits her heart in two.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Laci Maskell
• Release date: Jan 28, 2024
• ISBN: 9798215525661

Laci Maskell

I was born and raised in Nebraska. I fell in love with reading when I discovered Harry Potter. I began writing in the sixth grade. The four loves of my life are reading, writing, watching movies, and listening to music.

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First Love, Once Removed

Laci Maskell

Published by Laci Maskell at Smashwords

Copyright © Laci Maskell 2024

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Dedication

To all of you who stuck by me through the hard times.

Episode Seven

Chapter One

My feet are tired. My back hurts. My head aches. My heart loses a chip with every step. And yet I walk.

I don’t know what else to do.

I’ve lost track of time. I’m not entirely sure where I am. Neither of those things bothers me.

I turned my phone off a while ago. I was tired of it beeping at me incessantly. I didn’t want to talk to Lucas, who had called at least three times. And though this was entirely her fault, Sara had texted me.

That’s when I turned off my phone. Turning it off was a better solution than throwing it in the trash as I walked by. Which I did. Then realized I was being ridiculous and fished it out.

I feel awful. Sick to my stomach. My head pounds against my skull. My heart would stop beating if I weren’t still walking.

The only redemption is the numbness that has taken over my body. I don’t feel anything. There is not a thought in my head beyond putting one foot in front of the other.

Why is numbness a thing that happens to people? You always hear about people who become numb when tragic things happen. Is it your mind’s way of keeping you safe until you’re ready to deal with it? I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to deal with this.

How could I deal with the absolute betrayal of the two most important people in my life? The numbness keeps me from picturing the two of them in each other’s arms which I am thankful for. The image of my best friend and my boyfriend wrapped in each other’s embrace may break me.

I may be the biggest hypocrite. I may now have the same feeling Lucas had. But my dalliances with Jean-Luc are nothing compared to what happened with Lucas and Sara, because I never allowed anything truly heinous to happen. The farthest anything went with Jean-Luc and I was a kiss, a touch, and embrace. But if Sara is to be believed, she and Lucas very nearly had sex.

The mere thought of that makes me sick to my stomach. The aspect of it that not only upsets me the most, but makes me upset with myself, is that I’ve been blind to this for over a month. I knew they were both hiding something from me, but how could I have not guessed at something like this?

A guilty, selfish, and horrible part of me wishes I’d known all along so I could have been spending this time with Jean-Luc. That makes me hate Lucas, for keeping me from Jean-Luc, for making me feel bad about every second I’d spent with Jean-Luc when he was keeping the fact from me that he nearly fucked my best friend. But also myself, for thinking that way when I love Lucas.

Loved.

I have no idea how I feel about him now.

How do I even look at him again? How do I look at Sara again? How do I ever go back to my room?

Wandering around now is all well and good, but where do I go after? I can’t stay in my room tonight. I can’t go back there and face Sara. That’s undoubtedly the first place Lucas will come to look for me and I don’t want him to find me. I do not want to be found.

I have nowhere to go. No one to turn to.

But that’s not true.

I have Jean-Luc.

I stop mid-step. The second I do my feet start to throb. I look around and realize I’m clear downtown and darkness has fallen. Not just beginning of the night dark, but full on middle of the night dark. I could turn on my phone to find the time, but I don’t feel like wasting that time. I find my bearings, take a deep breath, then head towards the FES house.

Will Jean-Luc let me in? We didn’t end our last conversation on good terms.

Will he pity me? Think I’m stupid? Want nothing to do with me? Will he turn me away?

There’s only one way to find out. Besides, I have nowhere else to go.

It takes me a while to walk back to the FES house, my feet and back hurting the further I walk. My heart twitters the closer I get to Jean-Luc. My head and my heart are wrestling with emotions too big to deal with.

When I get to the house my heart has escalated to jack hammering against my rib cage. I’m nervous to face Jean-Luc. I’m still reeling from finding out my best friend and boyfriend cheated on me with each other. I feel hollow and full at the same time.

The house is dark when I enter through the side door closest to Jean-Luc’s room. The sound of my heart pounds in my ears as I walk to his room. This is harder than I anticipated.

There is no light coming through the crack at the bottom of the