Matchstick

By Stephanie Staudacher

As Harley settles into the new dynamics of her life, including a budding relationship with Onyx, she's ready to move forward on her plans against the Order. Now more comfortable with her magic, she's optimistic about using it to her advantage and taking them down.

However, her plans are thwarted as Mark resurfaces with a vendetta; Harley's only warning coming from an unlikely ally. Meanwhile, Bethany is also out for revenge, making an appearance of her own. Bethany has nothing left to lose and nowhere else to direct her anger.

The odds of surviving them both aren’t in Harley’s favor.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stephanie Staudacher
• Release date: Feb 13, 2024
• ISBN: 9798215004234

Stephanie Staudacher

Avid reader, writer, and nature enthusiast. I write somewhere in the fantasy genre: little bit of urban, little bit of high, little bit of supernatural. The Justified series is at the forefront of my projects, but I am reworking a previously released (and currently unavailable for purchase) book too! After finally finding my voice as a writer, it's almost painful for me to read what I sounded like way back when. Without the rework I wouldn't be able to finish out Harley's story (as I've been told I'm required to do). I worked in freelance for a while before I turned my attention to my own projects. Freelancing has given me a lot of strange information that makes me pretty decent at trivia.I have a daughter, Naomi. She is a lot like me in almost every way. It's a blessing and a curse. I get to relive my high school days, and it's just as fun as it was the first time around. She's a talented artist, and a lover of all things horror. I've dubbed her room the murder cave. If I wasn't afraid of clowns, I'd think it was cool.We currently live in Flint, MI. Copious amounts of coffee and having my office on my porch (well, from April-ish to October-ish anyway) is what keeps me sane. Fall is by far the best season, and this is a hill I will die on.I wear flip flops and t-shirts in the winter, and there is nothing better than sitting by a fire (except maybe watching and listening to a thunderstorm). I am positive all ailments can be cured with some herbal tea and honey (I'm only half serious, talk to your doctor... I never thought I'd need to add this disclaimer, but here we are).Sundays, Monday nights, and Thursday nights are for football and long conversations about football with my sister. Yes, I'm a Lion fan. Yes, I tell myself it will be different this year only to suffer horrible disappointment. Yes, it's tragic.

Book preview

Spirit of Fire

1. Into the Flames

2. Matchstick

Justified

1. Rage

2. Trust (coming soon!)

Exclusive excerpts, side stories, backstories, fun facts, extras, weekly-whatever posts, and more are posted on my blog throughout the writing process:

FallingPlace.blogspot.com

You can also check out my website for book previews, series info, and more about the books themselves:

fallingplace.wordpress.com

For,

OPB. You both mean the world to me.

What would I ever do without you?

-1-

~ Maria ~

The news of that girl’s sister dying had Mark overjoyed. He spent days talking about it. I was already over it. I had been over it. I knew he wanted to slowly exact his revenge on this girl and her family, but this felt way over the top, even for me. We had nothing to gain here, but everything to lose. The crime spree that got us to Flint would catch up to us eventually. I’d prefer to be far away from this damn city before then.

I liked the adventure. This wasn’t an adventure anymore. All we did was follow them around and watch. It was boring. I was bored. I didn’t like to be bored. The only reason Mark and I worked was because he’d liked adventure too.

I’d hoped once he’d healed from that girl’s dad shooting out his kneecaps, he would come to his senses and let us move on. All it did was make him more invested in her suffering. He had a mean streak I hadn’t seen before. Not that I minded the violence, but the obsessiveness I could do without. Blake was indifferent to it all, content to do whatever Mark wanted. The same way he’d been since I met him. It wasn’t surprising, but it was getting old.

Mark was so fixated on her he was missing everything else, like the woman we’d seen staking out that girl’s, Harley’s, house. He didn’t see her slink out of the shadows from under a window. He told me I was crazy and imagining it. I was sure I’d seen her several times since then. No one would listen to me. It had been weeks, weeks, since something fun had happened. I wouldn’t be able to take it much longer. I was going to lose my mind.

So far, the only interesting thing was seeing that healer around. She’d been with Harley and her family for a while now. We didn’t see her often, but she was there. Mark didn’t think it was the same woman. I knew it was. I knew from the minute I saw her. She looked like a hippie. Her long chestnut hair was always loose. I wouldn’t forget her. Doubting me was grating on my nerves. Blake was non-committal. He didn’t like to rock the boat with Mark. He never had. When Mark wasn’t around, Blake was a good guy. As soon as Mark was in the picture, he became whatever Mark needed.

I leaned back against the passenger window and sighed. Instead of the house, I started watching him. I used to think he was one of the most handsome men I had dated. He had a strong jaw, deep brown eyes, and enough muscle to literally sweep me off my feet without breaking a sweat. He’d been larger than life in Florida. Charming, adventurous, dangerous even. Exactly what I’d needed. Looking at him now, he looked dull. Plain. Ordinary.

I didn’t like ordinary.

He also hadn’t stopped talking about Mel since he called her for help. It felt like he was trying to make me compete with her. As if she would have anything to do with him anymore. She had moved on, and he couldn’t stand it. I narrowed my eyes at him.

Can we go yet? I bitched. Nothing is happening over there, and I’m bored.

He hadn’t even looked at me. Not even a glance. The intensity with which he starred at the front door of their house grated on me even more.

No, I want to understand them more, so hurting them will be all the better.

I’m bored, I said again, firmer.

So, walk back to the house, he said, jaw clenching, still not looking at me.

It’s like five miles, I said incredulously.

He didn’t say anything. I crossed my arms over my chest and pressed back in the seat. I wasn’t about to walk back, but I had no plans of just sitting here either. I wouldn’t be forced to stare at Harley’s house any longer. His wallet was in the cup holder between us, and I grabbed it.

I flung my door open. That finally got his attention.

What are you doing? he growled.

Leaving. I’ll be downtown, spending your money, I said as I got out before he could grab me. Call when you’re done, and you can pick me up.

He tried to say something else, but I slammed the door and started walking. He didn’t make a move to come after me. I knew he wouldn’t, but that didn’t lessen the sting of it any. I knew how much money he had, and I would relish spending it on things he wouldn’t approve of. I could not care less what he thought of anything right now.

After two blocks, I had to take my shoes off. I was not dressed to walk that far. The heels were hurting my feet. I wasn’t thrilled about being barefoot, but I couldn’t walk the rest of the way in these. I’d have to put them back on before I went in anywhere.

~ ~ ~

By the time he called me, I’d spent over $900. He had no one to blame but himself. Between food, sweets, trinkets, and clothes, I had a nice haul going. I didn’t plan to stop swiping his card until he was right in front of me.

It wasn’t Mark that picked me up. It was Blake. I rolled my eyes as he walked into the store I’d been perusing.

Why do you do this? Blake asked, exasperated. He was so angry I had to convince him to bring the car to me so I could get you.

He did this to himself. I don’t like to be bored. All he had to do was take me back to that shell he’s calling a house.

You know why he didn’t want to leave, he said, taking me by the arm to lead me to the door.

I yanked my arm out of his grip. If I hadn’t been holding so many bags, I would have slapped him.

Do not lead me like I am cattle, I spat.

Don’t make a scene, Blake said through a forced smile. We don’t need the attention.

If I make a scene, will that get us out of his ridiculous plan?

No, it will just end up getting us all arrested, he said. "I’m leaving now. Come with me, or you will have to walk back."

I rolled my eyes at him but followed him out. This wasn’t Blake’s fault, even if he was complacent about it. I didn’t need to take it out on him. He was just the messenger. Mark would get an earful from me when we got back to the house.

~ Harley ~

I never thought I would love a car almost as much as I loved my own. Riding in the Spider had me convinced. I would persuade Onyx to let me drive it one of these days. I almost had the chance once, but a would-be assassin got in the way. He was the first person I killed. That felt like a lifetime ago when in reality, it had only been just over a month.

Are we there yet, I asked Onyx with a grin.

Almost, he said, winking at me.

You’ve been saying ‘almost’ for over an hour, I laughed. I think you need a new definition.

Just trying to keep you on your toes, he said with a grin.

It was my favorite one.

You still won’t tell me where we’re going?

Nope, it’s still a secret.

I stuck my hand out the window just enough to twirl it through the wind. We weren’t driving nearly as fast as we had the last time we took the Spider to a date. The suspense was killing me. He wouldn’t even tell me for sure what to pack. He said all I needed were some clothes and a bathing suit. I didn’t know how long he’d been planning this, but he’d already thought of everything. No matter what argument I made for not going, he had a counter-argument. Arthur was there to back him up.

After all the effort and work we had put into tracking Dunham Marshawn, our next Order of the Gifted Blood target, I felt obligated to be there for the last minute prep. We were going after him on Tuesday. Five days and one more member of the Order would be dead. I knew it wasn’t an argument I was going to win. So, I had to pack a bag for a trip I didn’t know anything about.

I was glad to be out of the house. Onyx kept telling me how important it was to enjoy the downtime when we had it, but it was still hard for me to accept. Maybe he was right after all. I didn’t want to tell him that. I already knew what look he would give me.

"Now we’re almost there," Onyx said with his signature grin as he pulled off the expressway.

There’s nothing out here.

That’s the point. Wouldn’t be much of a getaway if there were people everywhere, would it?

I shook my head but couldn’t keep the smile off my face. I watched as the trees flew by. We both loved the woods. It made planning dates pretty easy. Ending up as a couple was mostly an accident. After someone firebombed Arthur’s house with us inside it, Onyx told firefighters he was my boyfriend. We had only met once, and briefly at that. Now that Joann and Kendall were dead, we didn’t need to keep up the ruse. It felt natural, and we didn’t want to change it. I guess that makes us an actual couple now.

After Hayden’s informal funeral, Arthur, Annabell, Calista, and Onyx moved into our house. It was getting a little crowded, but I really didn’t mind all that much. The extra support and security was well worth it. Even in that short time, we’d become a family.

After a couple of turns, we pulled down a small dirt road. A wooden sign, mostly overtaken by nature, marked the path. I couldn’t read what it said, but it didn’t matter. The trail was opening up, and cabins were coming into view. They were small but looked cozy. All of them were built out of logs fitted together perfectly. The roofs were covered in moss, so it was impossible to tell what they were supposed to look like. Onyx parked in front of the office and jumped out of the car.

I was content to wait and look around. All the cabins faced a lake. The sand from the beach went all the way up to the porches. A fire pit for each cabin was perched in the sand, halfway between the porches and the water. It was so peaceful here that I knew I wouldn’t want to leave at the end of the weekend. Staying here among the trees and the birds, away from all the stress and dangers back home, sounded perfect, but I knew it wasn’t an option. There was too much left to do and take care of.

Onyx came out of the office and grabbed a few bundles of wood before hopping back in the car. We drove back to the furthest cabin from the office and pulled our stuff out of the car.

We have the place until Monday morning, Onyx said as we stepped up onto the porch.

Four nights of relaxing on the beach with a kinda cute guy? Sounds heavenly.

"Kinda cute," he said with a grin.

You heard me, I laughed.

Inside the cabin were bunk beds on one side and a full-size bed on the other. A small table with two chairs sat by the door, and a desk was up against the wall between the beds with a mini fridge next to it. None of the beds had sheets or blankets, but Onyx dropped his bag on the desk and pulled out bedding.

You really thought of everything, I said.

I wanted to make sure it was a great weekend, he replied. Wanna take some of the wood to the fire pit and get a fire going?

I can manage that. Do we have dinner plans? It will be dark soon.

I have hot dogs and stuff for smores in my bag. Tomorrow we can pick up some stuff to fill the small fridge.

Sounds like a plan, I said as he kissed my cheek.

There are people in the cabin next to us, so take matches with you and at least pretend to use them.

I nodded and went to get the wood. I grabbed a hatchet out of the car too. It didn’t take me long to get some kindling. I didn’t need a lot. I really didn’t need any but with people around…

Once I got the fire going, I plopped down in front of it. I saw the people in the cabin next to us. They were a young couple, and they raised a hand in greeting as they got their own fire going.

Ok, ready to eat? Onyx said as he settled in next to me.

Can we eat the smores first?

You are going to end up eating all the smores, and then you won’t want a hot dog, he said, laughing.

I just grinned. He rolled his eyes, but the smile never left his face. He handed me a stick, and I popped a marshmallow on it. I stuck it immediately in the fire and waited for it to be engulfed in flames before bringing it slowly back to me to blow it out. Onyx shook his head.

They are better if you burn the outside, and it doesn’t take as long before you get to eat them, I said as I smooshed it between the chocolate and crackers.

Patience is a virtue, he said.

One that I do not possess.

I squealed as he reached over and scooped me up, placing me in his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek. I leaned back into him and rested my hands on his arms. I could stay like this all night. I tipped my head back and laid it on his shoulder.

It’s weird. I feel so comfortable with you, and like I’ve known you forever, but at the same time, I don’t know much about you at all.

What do you want to know?

You never talk about your family.

There isn’t much to tell, he said.

You don’t have to talk about it, I said as I shifted around to face him. It was not as graceful as I would have liked, and getting my legs around his waist was awkward, which made him giggle. He pulled his legs up behind me so I wouldn’t tip over backward. I draped my arms over his shoulders and kissed the tip of his nose. That was way harder than I pictured it in my head.

We can practice it all weekend, he said with a grin as he brushed his lips against mine. So, what do you want to know about my family?

Whatever you want to tell me, I said as I leaned back against his knees.

I wasn’t sure how comfortable this was for him, but he wasn’t complaining.

I spent most of my time getting into trouble in one way or another as a kid. I know I drove them crazy. They tolerated it because they believed in learning everything you could about the world from hands-on experience.

What kind of trouble were you getting into?

I took all kinds of things apart, climbed things, and freaked out the neighbors. A couple times, I came home with a bunch of leeches on me from swimming in the creek. It wasn’t anything major, just a lot of headaches.

Sounds like you were a handful, I said as he took my hands in his and laced our fingers.

Oh, I definitely was. As I got older, though, people started to take notice of what I was capable of. My parents tried to stop it, but there wasn’t much they could do. I wasn’t called up by Blade first like most people. At 19, I was the youngest recruit to Garrote. I know Arthur told you about that process. Once they make you the offer, you either accept or get sent off to have your memory wiped.

That’s… I’m sorry, I said, squeezing his hands lightly. I knew you were one of the younger recruits, but I didn’t know you hadn’t even wanted to be in Blade.

I wasn’t necessarily opposed to being in Blade. I hadn’t really thought about it. I was still so young, and you know how elemental families are; no one moves away young like non-elementals do.

How long before they started sending you out on jobs?

21. I hadn’t been there long before I started having my doubts.

Have you talked to your parents much since starting with Garrote?

Not really, he said, pulling me closer and wrapping his arms around my waist. They weren’t happy I accepted the job, but they also didn’t know there wasn’t much of a choice. I can’t tell them what I do while at work, and I don’t like outright lying by making up jobs I’ve done.

I’m sorry, I said, kissing his cheek. When this is all over, no one will have to go through this anymore. I know that doesn’t change much for you, but you’ll be a part of making sure no one else has to be put in that position again.

He held me a little tighter and nodded. I didn’t want to push him any farther tonight. I wanted to know everything about him, but I didn’t want to interrogate him either. He kissed the side of my neck and then flipped us over so I was lying on my back in the sand. He settled one of his legs between mine as I squealed again. I couldn’t figure out how he was able to do that so smoothly. It was one fluid movement.

It’s getting late, he whispered against my lips. We should probably go to bed soon.

We could, I whispered back. Or we could stay right here, and you could kiss me.

He grinned and pressed his lips to mine. Feeling his lips move against mine was euphoric. He was a fantastic kisser. I don’t know how long we stayed in the sand like that, but it would never be long enough.

As much as I would love to stay here with you, he whispered. We probably should sleep.

While you are most likely right, I don’t want to, I whispered back.

He grinned and kissed my nose before he popped up to his feet and offered me his hand. As many times as I have tried to do that, I always ended up falling back down. I quit trying. I didn’t think I would ever be as graceful as he was. I took his hand and let him help pull me to my feet.

Like always, he turned his back while I changed. It was sweet, but I also found it amusing. He had gotten into the shower with me once before but still looked away while I was getting dressed. It was another thing I liked about him. He was always considerate of my comfort and never expected more from me than I was ready to give. Once I slipped into the bed, he climbed in next to me. I slid over to him and rested my head on his chest as he rubbed my back.

Onyx? I said softly.

Yes, you can, he said as he kissed my temple.

Most nights now, I let my guard down so I could slip into his head. I still asked him every time. He always knew when I wanted to and had always given me permission. He’d told me I was always welcome, but I still felt like he should know.

I felt his emotions wash over me. It was soothing. His mind was always calm. His emotions ebbed and flowed like a light breeze over a pond. I always ended up going back to all the emotions surrounding me. The love he felt was so strong it always surprised me every single time.

We hadn’t known each other for very long. Between the near-death experiences, living in close quarters almost immediately after we met, and accidentally slipping into his head twice, everything about our relationship was accelerated. I was falling in love with him. Neither of us had said it out loud, but I think he knew how I felt too.

I basked in his emotions, listening to the steady beat of his heart and feeling the rhythmic motions of his hand on my back until I drifted off to sleep. It happened much faster than I would have liked. Nights were the only time I slipped into his mind.

-2-

~ Onyx ~

One of the perks of getting up early was watching her sleep. I couldn’t linger there long. I had to make a run into town. It had taken some doing, but I found a place that specialized in making things from primetonite. I hadn’t seen him around in a while, so finding him was like winning the lottery.

I carefully slipped out of bed and wrote her a note. I didn’t want to be gone too long; we had a full day ahead of us. Getting out of a wooden cabin quietly was a tall feat, but I managed. The place wasn’t too far. That was how we ended up out here in the first place.

Her bad nights came less often now, but there were still a lot of them. She didn’t talk about it much, but I knew they were about Hayden and what happened in Joann’s basement. It was hers to share, so I didn’t pry.

I parked in front of the jeweler’s shop. Several heads turned to admire the car. It happened wherever I took it. You don’t see many of them. I gave them all a smile and a wave as I ducked into the storefront.

Onyx! the man behind the counter said. Perfect timing. I just finished them up this morning.

Hey, Kyle, I said with a smile. They didn’t give you any trouble, did they?

Nah, it was a good challenge. I don’t get many requests for primetonite out here. When I was in the city, elementals made them all the time. Most don’t want to drive out here.

Yet I managed to track you down, I said with a wink.

He shook his head and bent down to pull something out from under the counter. He carefully placed a lilac box on the glass display case. His grin was as wide as ever. He was particularly pleased with these.

I carefully pulled the top off the box. They were beautiful. I pulled one of the earrings out of the foam. The detail work was like no other. It’s why I wanted him, in particular, to do it. They were perfect.

She is going to love it all, I said, carefully putting the earring back in place.

I didn’t even know you were trying to settle down, Kyle said.

It’s been a hell of a few weeks, I told him. It was sudden but intense.

She’s lucky.

Nah, I am, I said with a grin. I’ll have the money sent over. I need to borrow your phone. We stashed ours for the weekend, and I forgot to grab it.

He handed me his phone, and I called my guy. Like always, he balked at how little I consulted him as I spent a large chunk of money. I had known him so long; he was like a brother to me. He took full advantage of that. Didn’t miss any opportunity to needle me about everything under the sun.

It’s sent, I said, handing his phone back. Thank you again. I’m sure I will be reaching out to you in the future.

If you decide to give this girl a ring, I want to be your first call. I’ll even cut the price in half just for you two, he said.

I promise, any and all jewelry I want to have made, I’ll call you immediately.

Good, but don’t tell your friends. I’m busy enough as it is.

~ Harley ~

When I woke up, Onyx wasn’t in the cabin. A note was on the pillow next to me. I stretched and grabbed the piece of paper.

Harley,

Had to grab a few things. I’ll be back shortly. Put a bathing suit on under your clothes. ;)

Love,

Onyx

I grinned and slipped out of bed. I pulled on one of my bikinis, a short-sleeved button-up, and some shorts before walking out onto the beach. The couple in the cabin next door were sitting out on their porch, so I waved. I walked almost to the water and sat down. I leaned back on my elbows, letting the button-up fall open into the sand.

I tipped my head back and just enjoyed feeling the sun on my skin. I wished Hayden was with me. Sunbathing was one of her favorite things. The guilt of enjoying anything about life still snuck up on me sometimes. She didn’t have the chance to explore or experience so many things. She deserved more.

Joanna and Kendall took that from her, all because they wanted to possess us for our ability to read minds. I wanted to put all my focus on striking out at those that caused her death, but I knew she would want me to be happy. I tried to focus on that, but sometimes it was hard. I knew she would like Onyx. This gateway was something she’d want to hear all about when I got home.

I lowered my back onto the sand and closed my eyes.

~ ~ ~

Today has all the makings of a perfect day, Hayden said as she flung my door open.

It’s 6am, I groaned as I looked at the digital clock on my nightstand. How can you possibly tell?

You can just feel it in the air, she said, flinging my curtains open.

Whhhhhy, I whined as I threw the blanket over my head. I wasn’t done sleeping yet!

Sure you were, she said brightly. We have so much to do today!

Like what, I grumbled, flopping my arms down to my sides, taking the top of the blanket with them.

Don’t you hear the dock calling you? It’s already sunny, it’s warm but not hot, and the skies are perfectly clear.

The dock is telling me it will still be there in two hours so I can go back to sleep.

I don’t think so, she said, opening my closet. You just aren’t paying attention.

She tossed the bathing suit she pulled out onto the bed. She leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching me expectantly.  

Can you at least be quieter and maybe sound a little less… bubbly, while I wake up?

If you promise to get dressed, she said with a grin. I’m going to make us iced coffee to take out there.

That I can get on board with.

She practically bounced out of the room as I sat up. I looked down at my pillow, forlorn. Vacations were supposed to be relaxing. I just wanted to sleep for several more hours. She and my dad managed to roll out of bed with all the energy and motivation in the world. I never understood it.

I climbed out of bed and stretched, yawning. I pulled on the bathing suit, only almost falling down twice. I squeezed my eyes closed for a second and then blinked rapidly. It didn’t help as much as I thought it would. I sat back on the edge of the bed and rubbed my hands over my eyes.

Good, you’re dressed! Hayden said as she skipped into the room. Ready?

No… I said as she handed me one of the coffees. She looped her arm through mine as I stood and steered me toward the sliding glass door. You promised to be less bubbly if I got dressed.

I didn’t promise, she giggled. I only agreed to try.

That is definitely not how that conversation went down.

She laughed again as she almost pulled me out onto the back deck and down the stairs. At least she had slowed her pace some. There were already two towels and a radio on the dock. Apparently, waking me up wasn’t the first thing she had done this morning.

Tell me about the college boys, she said as she dropped down onto her towel.

I’ve told you about college boys, I said as I settled into my towel more carefully.

I know! But I like to hear about them. I’ll be in college soon. I need to be prepared.

Soon? You start your junior year in like a month.

Semantics. It’s close enough, she said, waving her hand around.

I took a drink of the coffee. I could almost feel the caffeine taking hold of me. Coffee is the only way I survived her early mornings. If I was allowed to sleep later, I probably wouldn’t need it.

Why don’t you tell me about the guy you’ve been texting while I wake up, I said.

He’s pretty cool, but he won’t stop asking me what I want, she said, rolling her eyes. He won’t tell me what food he might want, where he might want to go… I don’t want to pick everything. It would be nice to just talk about it or for him to just pick for a change. He’s known me long enough; he knows what things I don’t like.

Have you told him that?

Yes! He just keeps saying, ‘I just want you to be happy,’ she said with a terrible attempt to mimic a guy’s voice. Has he considered that maybe I want to make him happy too? Ugh.

So, break up with him, I said.

I thought about it. He’s so nice, and we have great conversations sometimes.

So, don’t break up with him.

But I’m tired of having to plan literally everything.

I don’t know what answer you’re looking for, I said, grinning. There is no pleasing you.

Oh, whatEVER, she giggled. Like you’re any better.

I’ll have you know my last relationship ended on amicable terms after we decided we’d make better friends.

Was this before or after you decided the way he said ‘irregardless’ all the time was a deal breaker?

Hey, irregardless is not a word! It’s just ‘regardless!’

There is no pleasing you, she said, laying back on her towel.

Those are completely different scenarios.

We settled into a comfortable silence. I was secretly glad she woke me up. We didn't get much time to just hang out anymore. We’re both busy, and our schedules never lined up. I would have loved more sleep, but I would try to make it up later. This week was going to be about us bonding.

~ ~ ~

I swallowed hard as the memory of our last vacation together faded. It had been almost a year since that weekend at our lake house. We spent most of that day on the docks sunbathing. That evening we had a barbeque before being chased inside by mosquitoes.

I heard a car park, and then Onyx was at my side. He plopped down in the sand and leaned over to kiss me. I grinned at him as I opened my eyes.

I wondered how long you would be gone, I said.

Just wanted to get a few things in order, he replied. What were you thinking about?

Hayden, I said softly. She would love it here. Sunbathing was one of her favorite things.

He took my hand gently and raised it to his lips. I squeezed his lightly. He pushed emotions toward me. Love. Understanding. Support. Finding the words to help or support someone could be difficult, but the emotions work so much better. The way he was able to do that for me helped immensely, and he knew it. I wished I could return the favor.

You haven’t talked about her in a while.

I don’t want to keep bringing everyone down. It’s not something any of us want to remember, and it just makes everyone sad.

"You don’t have to worry like that. If you don’t want to talk about her because you don’t want to, that is ok. If you aren’t talking about her because you don’t want to upset anyone else… that’s the worry you don’t need to carry."

I wasn’t the only one dealing with this loss. My parents lost a child. Bringing her up all the time with them felt cruel, like a reminder their baby was gone. Arthur was basically our uncle. He was there for us our entire life. I knew it was hard on him too. I just missed her so much. She was my best friend.

It still feels weird.

It might, and you can work through it on whatever timeline works best for you. Just know you can always talk about her with me.

Thank you, I said softly.

I wasn’t sure what else to say. I felt him pushing his mind toward me even more. I embraced it. It was almost like slipping into a hot spring. This serene, calming bath washed over me. It was soothing. He had started doing it more often,