How Can I Have a Better Life

By Stephen Russell-Lacy

This ebook is suitable for those who see themselves as 'more spiritual than religious'. It looks at how the inner life can be better, what might need to change in oneself to achieve this new state of mind, and to what extent we can rely on ourselves during personal struggle. It frames these issues using ideas found in the books of spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg.
This perspective is presented in a down to earth and practical way that takes account of deeper aspects of personal experience. We can alter our natural ego-orientation which is associated with inner dissatisfaction. It can change using our higher self to bring about contentment and calm. This process is less difficult than might be thought but does require some spiritual knowledge and focus.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stephen Russell-Lacy
• Release date: Jan 15, 2024
• ISBN: 9798215312827

Stephen Russell-Lacy

Stephen Russell-Lacy has tried to combine three things in his working life. First there is his profession of clinical psychology. He worked for over thirty years as a psychotherapist with people experiencing emotional distress and training others in this activity. Second is his study of the fields of transpersonal psychology and the psychology of religion. And third is his involvement in teaching of the spiritual philosophy of Emanual Swedenborg. He currently runs residential workshops covering psychospiritual matters and is a tutor and course writer at the Swedenborg Open Learning Centre, Manchester, UK. He also edits Exploring Spiritual Questions and is a regular contributor writing about spiritual healing, the meaning of life, ethics and human consciousness.

Book preview

How can I have a better life?

By Stephen Russell-Lacy

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2023 Stephen Russell-Lacy

Illustration by Igor Son, https://unsplash.com/

I am grateful for the comments on earlier drafts by my wife Carole and proof-reading by Brian Talbot.

Table of contents

1 Introduction

2 A deeper spiritual approach

3 Searching

4 Egoism

5 Self-identification with our thoughts

6 Freedom to change

7 Regular self-assessment

8 Ingrained patterns

9 The power of love

10 Spiritual practice

11 The heart

12 Summary

13 Notes

About the author

Other books by the author

Connect with the author

Introduction

This ebook asks about finding a better life. But why would we wish do so?

I would say that it doesn’t matter who we are, there is always something going wrong from time to time. The central heating boiler packs up, family discord breaks out, an illness starts up. Most of us are sometimes tempted to throw up our hands in dismay. Two more examples are not getting that hoped-for job or desirable house move.

After experiencing a misfortune of some sort, you might step back away from things and take a moment for reflection. Perhaps brood over what is going on. Maybe noticing a negative mood. Thoughts that can crop up include ‘Why am I taking this so badly?’ ‘Why am I so easily dissatisfied?’ and ‘How come I get pessimistic?’

Inner and outer

It is as if something or someone is calling us to notice that there is a distinction between what is going on around us and our reaction to it; between our outer living and inner being. If so, we begin to grasp that there is more to life than meets the eye.

To change one's life is not to change outer circumstances: it is (to seek) to change one's reactions. (Maurice Nicholl note 1)

You might say, ‘Hang on a minute. Surely happiness comes from our external conditions ‒ a worry-free financial life, a comfortable home, and good holidays. Who doesn’t want to win a fortune on the lottery?’

However, research studies repeatedly find that, except in cases of hardship and poverty, when extra income does relieve suffering and bring security, there is actually no correlation between wealth and happiness.

One-time Prime Minister, David Cameron stated 'It is time we focused not just on GDP but on GWB, general well-being.'. The underlying assumption is that the economic measure GDP depends in part on GWB. Absentee rates, tax revenues spent on long-term disability benefits, sluggish performance at work due to depression, erratic performance due to anxiety, the effects of alcohol: all count against GDP.

Social identity

Sometimes the individual seeks a new identity as a radical move to find a better life. For example this might come about following a failed intimate relationship, or as a child experiencing over-controlling or neglectful parents.

Whatever the reason we may suppose that we need to make a radical gesture in order to change our lives. But I would ask you to consider whether drastic actions like migration to another country, a