From a Daughter in Disguise to a Daughter in His Eyes: A Spiritual Guidebook for Young Single Women to Make the Right Choices in a World of Deceiving Voices

By Winifred Bell

Growing up in as a young girl and transitioning into womanhood can be complicated. Satan, the Master of Disguise, known as the Deceiver, offers 24-7 young women and men wrong choices that lead to harmful and hurtful consequences. Often there is no quick fix. As they are confronted with multiple issues, making choices based on the appealing voices of Social Media, friends, and boyfriends can lead to taking dangerous risks they deeply regret. A number of teens consider their parents' advice "crazy" and "old-fashion". Insecure and unsure of what is right, many young women are looking for answers to the following questions: "Does being a Christian involve living by a bunch of rules?" "How can I connect with God?" "Will God forgive and forget the bad things I've" done? "Does God really care about me?" "Does God have a thought-out plan for my life?" "How can I feel good about my life when others don't accept me?" "What should I do when a guy is too friendly" "What are God's sexual boundaries?" "How can I avoid temptation?" "How can I satisfy my need to be loved in healthy ways?" "Is having or living with a boyfriend the answer to my loneliness?" "Does God have a soul mate designed just for me?" How will I recognize him?" Many of these questions will be answered in From A Daughter In Disguise to a Daughter in His Eyes. As you find answers to many of your soul-searching questions, may you find deep peace, love, and joy in becoming the daughter of God He created you to be.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Dec 12, 2023
• ISBN: 9781685173388

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From a Daughter in Disguise to a Daughter in His Eyes

A Spiritual Guidebook for Young Single Women to Make the Right Choices in a World of Deceiving Voices

Winifred Bell

ISBN 978-1-68517-337-1 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-68517-338-8 (digital)

Copyright © 2023 by Winifred Bell

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Endorsements

The Message Behind the Girl With the Mask

Message to the Reader

A Message to the Bible Study Leader

Chapter 1

The Lasting Impact of One Girl's Life

Chapter 2

He Came to Me

Chapter 3

Looking for Love in all the Wrong Faces

Chapter 4

The Risk of Faith That Led to True Love

Chapter 5

The Prostitute Who Became His Princess

Chapter 6

The Woman Who Dared to Look Back

Chapter 7

The Narrow Gate or the Broad Gate?

Chapter 8

Connecting with God

Chapter 9

Father of the Fatherless

Chapter 10

From Rags to Royalty

Chapter 11

Who Am I?

Chapter 12

Winning the War Within

Chapter 13

The Person Who Is Always There for You

Chapter 14

Pretty Is as Pretty Does

Chapter 15

What in the World Should We Wear?

Chapter 16

The Lord, My Shepherd

Chapter 17

Hearing God's Voice

Chapter 18

Prayers That Are Answered

Chapter 19

Friends

Chapter 20

Strictly Friends, Not Play Toys

Chapter 21

God's Mate, Worth the Wait

The Bible Study Guide

A Glossary of Biblical Sins

Resources

Endnotes

About the Author

Endorsements

This is a powerful, practical, and greatly needed book. These are my strong feelings after reading From a Daughter in Disguise To A Daughter in His Eyes. The author's passion for a woman to see her true worth as a marvelous creation of God and to be all God created her to be is a prominent theme throughout the book. This book is comprehensive for it deals with all the major areas of a single woman's life. It is personal in that it has real life testimonies. It is Biblical—true to God's Word in every way. It is very practical for helping a woman apply God's Word to her daily life. In a world where there is so much ignorance about the worth, value, and role of a woman, the book answers confusing issues with clarity, conviction, and biblical answers. Any girl who reads or studies the book will come away rejoicing at God's marvelous plan for her life.

The book gives the reader real hope about the difference a personal relationship with Jesus Christ makes in a woman's life. At the same time, it speaks of the spiritual battles, temptations, and choices confronting a follower of Jesus. It warns her of wrong choices which bring her much harm, hurt, and heartache and of right choices which bring real happiness. I highly recommend this book for individual reading, Bible study groups, and disciple groups. If it were possible, this book would be required reading for every young woman. It would truly equip her and prepare her to be a woman after God's heart. Jesus is Lord!

Fred H. Wolfe

Pastor Emeritus of Luke 4:18 Fellowship

Mobile, Alabama

This book by Winifred Bell is excellent—very helpful to individuals and groups. She does a great job of laying out essentials of spiritual growth and helping people get a solid foundation of their faith. Winnie's experience of many years of discipling others comes through clearly. I highly recommend the book.

Frank Barker, Pastor Emeritus

Briarwood Presbyterian Church

Birmingham, Alabama

There are many voices desiring to be heard today in our culture. Most individuals are listening to the wrong voice. I see the results of deception while serving weekly in the Gospel ministry. The results are always the same, whether I serve in state prisons, addiction facilities, county jails, local churches or on the foreign mission field. The results of deception are that the truth is distorted and lives are destroyed. Satan is the master deceiver, along with the philosophies and ideologies of this world system. Believers need to be speaking the truth and living the truth as commanded by the Holy Scripture. The church must be a light shining in the darkness of deception, proclaiming the biblical Gospel in a culture filled with false gospels. Winnie Bell's book will equip and inspire believers and local churches to know the truth, to speak the truth, and to live the truth. This book is doctrinally sound and practically applied. This book will disciple believers and evangelize sinners. I highly recommend this book for individuals, small groups, and local churches.

Pastor Randy Lowe

Tree of Life Church

RLM Ministries Inc.

Portraits by Necaise Photography and Sketches by David Riall and Wendy Hill

In Memory of Ann and Bill Stegall who opened their home for my GALS ministry for young single women

The Message Behind the Girl With the Mask

Do you sometimes believe that you have been misled or misfed lies that have led you down a primrose path of disappointment, despair, or destruction? Has a guy abused you or been untrue to you? Have you tried to make the right choices but have been misled by other deceiving voices? Perhaps you were influenced by some rockstar's or rapper's message that had an appealing beat who really didn't care what you sowed or reaped.

Has the church led you to believe that you are a daughter in God's eyes but you've been wondering if you are a daughter in disguise? To disguise oneself is to appear to be someone that you are not in real character. It is to conceal from the outside what you are on the inside. The inside is what counts. First Samuel 16:7 (NIV) says, Man looks at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart. We try to fake who we are. We can't fake it and make it in this world. My friend Debbie Evans explained it this way: When the life of God is on the inside, we become real on the outside.

When talking to the Pharisees, religious leaders who were self-righteous, Christ said, On the outside, you appear to people as righteous but inside, you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness (Matthew 23:27–28, NIV). According to the Greek word hypokrisis, hypocrisy means acting or pretending to be someone you are not. During Bible times, people in plays wore a mask to portray a certain character. Greeks used this word hypokrisis as a stage term to refer to a person who hides his true identity by wearing a mask appearing to be someone he is not.

Many people are hypocrites hiding behind an invisible mask and don't even know it. Like the Pharisees, I was a hypocrite appearing to be someone I wasn't. I had a self-righteous opinion of myself. Because I was morally good, I thought I was a fairly good person. Romans 3:10 (NIV) states, There is no one righteous, no not one. Only Jesus was perfectly righteous. I was wearing an invisible mask and didn't know it. Sin within us lies to us and fools us as to who we really are. Jeremiah 17:9(NJKV) says, The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it? Satan, the Deceiver, had blinded my eyes to who I was and who I really needed to be (2 Cor. 4:4). Through God revealing Himself to me, His grace, His underserved love, toward me as an unworthy sinner, I gave up my fake life to get His real life. I got it and I'll never trade it. I got rid of my mask.

God created us for a love relationship with Him. People want to be loved and accepted and will do anything to get it. People pretend, perform and do promiscuous or perverted things through Social media, school, work, society and church to be accepted. The most important thing in life is to be loved and accepted by God. God is holy. None of our efforts to disguise can earn acceptance in His eyes. By grace you have been saved through faith—this is not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not by works (Eph.2:8–9NKJV). Jesus Christ who was perfectly righteous was the only person worthy to die in our place for all of our sins to give us the gift of righteous standing and acceptance with God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Him (2 Cor.5:21NKJV). Romans 8:1 says, There is therefore no condemnation to those in Christ Jesus. Only as a person realizes his sin, repents (turn away from it) and receives Jesus Christ into his heart as Savior and Lord can he be forgiven and accepted by God. Ephesians 1:6 (NKJV) says, He made us accepted in the Beloved. Religion is pressure to keep rules and practice ritual. Christianity is knowing God personally through Christ and allowing Christ to live His life through us to experience this new life and eternal life. If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things pass away; all things become new (2 Cor.5:17NKJV).

God desires to free us from hiding behind our mask, to deliver us from the pain of the past, and to enjoy His abundant life which is vast. Satan, the Deceiver (Gen. 3:13, 2 Cor. 12:13–15) is the master of disguise whose game is to mislead us from experiencing the life that is best. Satan's goal is to divert us from the truth that is only found in Jesus Christ. Jesus said, I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life; No one comes to the Father except through Me (John 14:6 NIV). Jesus also said, The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill, and destroy. I have come that they may have life and that they may have it abundantly (John 10:9–10, NKJV). The girl on the cover, a former fashion model and member of my disciple group, who left her old life to follow Christ and receive His new life, learned that these words are true.

Message to the Reader

This book has been written to help you to become spiritually wise and not be swayed by falling for Satan's subtle lies. It will guide you to make the right choices when confronted with many misleading voices. Secondly, it has been written as a spiritual guidebook to encourage you, to comfort you and to help you become the woman God planned for you to be. True stories of girls of different backgrounds who came to Christ have been included at the end of certain chapters. Thirdly, it has been written as a text for personal Bible study or group Bible study for young women who desire to grow in their spiritual walk as a follower of Christ. It can be used as a text for young women in a church setting, college campus setting, Christian school setting, home school setting, or public school setting after school hours. Jesus called believers who were followers of Him disciples. The word disciple means learner. As a newborn babe needs milk to grow, we need the milk of God's Word, the simple truths, and, later, the meat of God's Word, the deeper truths, to mature in Christ. First Peter 2:2 (NIV) says, Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk; so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

If you are interested in being in a discipleship group, I want to encourage you to use From A Daughter in Disguise To A Daughter in His Eyes and The Bible Study Guide in this book. You can purchase the text or the ebook through Amazon, Apple I-tunes and Barnes & Noble. Ask God to lead you to a mature Christian woman who would be willing to disciple you and your friends in a weekly Bible study care group. As you persistently pray, God will make a way!

A Message to the Bible Study Leader

From a Daughter in Disguise to a Daughter in His Eyes has been written as a tool for knowing Christ personally and growing mature in Him. Young women need spiritual mentors, godly women, to be role models who will not only teach them God's Word and but train them in practical ways to apply it. You can't just say to a babe in Christ, Go read your Bible and attend church on Sunday and you'll get it. There are only two things that will last in the end: the Word of God and the souls of men. William James said, The greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.¹

Discipleship is the greatest need in the church and nation today. Because mature Christians have not disciplined themselves to study and teach God's Word to those younger in Christ, there is a lack of godliness and holiness in the church and the nation. When any church fails to give spiritual insight of what is Biblically wrong or right, the younger generation who are ignorant fall for Satan's counterfeits of the true light. Paul warned, Take heed yourselves and to all the flock among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood. For I know this, after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock. Also from among yourselves men will rise up, speaking perverse things to draw away the disciples after themselves (Acts 20:28–29 NKJV). Jesus's words to His disciples is a word for us: "You didn't choose Me but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give it to you" (John 15:16 NKJV).

If there ever was a time when we need to sacrifice our lives to love and nurture the younger generation, it is now. God spoke through the Prophet Hosea saying, My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6 NKJV). This generation and the next will never know the Word of God unless we speak it and teach it.

Edmond Burke said: The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.² Too often we as women of the church have been consumers of God's Word without sharing the gospel or discipling others. Just taking time to nurture one babe in Christ could make such a difference. Every spiritually-grounded Christian needs an outlet of ministry or the Word becomes stale and a spirit of deadness prevails. Pastor Michael Horton's comment should motivate us to output: We can be preoccupied with getting the message right without actually getting it out… If zeal without knowledge is deadly (Rom. 10:2–3), then knowledge without zeal is dead. The Great Commission doesn't give any quarter to either of these extremes.³ The Great Commission of Jesus was a command, not an option. He said, Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded of you; And lo, I am with you always even to the end of the age (Matt. 28:19–20 NKJV). He didn't say just make decisions but make disciples which takes compassion, prayer, perseverance, patience. The Apostle Paul said, And the things you have heard from many witnesses, commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also (2 Tim. 2:22 NKJV). This verse also applies to women.

Many teens, collegians and adults have quit going to church. Many churches lack Bible study disciple groups for youth, collegians, and adults where they are challenged to look up Scriptures in a weekly lesson. Proverbs 10:21 (NKJV) states, The lips of the righteous feed many but fools die for a lack of wisdom. If you have the spiritual maturity to disciple others, what is God calling you to leave in order to feed or lead others? May this question by Elisabeth Elliot asked at a Campus Crusade for Christ conference challenge you as it did me: Is what you are living for worth Christ dying for?"⁴

If you are a mature Christian woman, pray about leading one person or a small group of young women in Bible study using From a Daughter in Disguise to a Daughter in His Eyes and The Bible Study Guide that complements the text. If possible, read Becoming a Titus Two Woman by Martha Peace or God's High Calling For Women by John MacArthur. These books will give you a fresh perspective of your diversified ministry role. Young women long to have a spiritual mother to teach them, guide them, and be a godly example to them. May God bless you as you build the next generation on God's Word—the only solid foundation that can save any nation. May the following promise come true for you as it has for me: If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called a Repairer of Broken Walls, a Restorer of Streets with dwellings (Isa. 58:10–12 NIV).

Chapter 1

The Lasting Impact of One Girl's Life

Although the hour was late, I could not go to sleep. Trying to unwind, I sat up in bed admiring my pink taffeta gown, my rose bouquet, and the elegant presents from my parents' friends. I found myself reliving every moment of the Camellia Ball, the first annual debutante ball of the Mardi Gras season in Mobile, Alabama.

The debutante season extends from the time of the Camellia Ball in November until Mardi Gras festivities are over in February. Usually, each girl has completed her first two years of college or has graduated before she is presented. After I finished college, my parents wanted me to make my debut.

In November, it is an annual tradition for Southern families to introduce their daughters called debutantes at Mardi Gras balls. Weekends are filled with brunches, luncheons, cocktail parties, teas, and dinner dances given by their family and friends. This season is an opportunity to introduce debutantes to eligible bachelors of similar social background who might propose marriage. Each event requires an escort. I was caught up in the thrill of it all, particularly the male attention. Several guys who were my escorts dated me and asked me to marry them. Some were doctors, lawyers, bankers, and financial investors. There was always some adult saying, He would be just the perfect person for you. You're just too particular, or This may be your last chance. Like any normal girl, I had a desire to marry. Having a fear of facing early divorce or a mediocre marriage, I sought the Lord in prayer concerning His will about each one of them. The pressure to make a decision made me restless. God gave me no peace to marry any of them.

For the Camellia Ball, I chose my older half brother, Mac, to present me since my father was temporarily handicapped with a broken hip. As my older brother escorted me down the long tiered stairway of an antebellum porch to make my entrance to the dance floor, my heart was filled with nothing but excitement concerning how the evening would unfold. As the ball began, I was in a trance as each bachelor tapped my shoulder and asked, May I have this dance? That night, I thought, Would this be the beginning of a real romance?

After the ball was over at midnight, I went home and stayed up late opening my debutant gifts. I could not go to bed without thinking about all the good-looking bachelors I had met. Some of their glances I couldn't forget. Suddenly, I was brought back to reality by the ringing of the telephone and the familiar voice of my former college roommate, Kathy, on the line saying, Winnie, I just had to call you and tell you that Nancy Groover Thomas was killed in a car wreck on the Atlanta Expressway the day after her wedding. While Terry was driving in the rain toward their honeymoon destination—Florida and the Bahamas—a drunk driver crossed the median on the interstate and caused a head-on collision. Can you believe this? Terry, her husband, age twenty-five, survived despite the critical injuries; but Nancy, age twenty-one, did not make it through alive. Hearing this news, I was shocked. Tears began to flow down my cheeks as I recalled the day Nancy knocked on my door in my college dorm at Wesleyan College to take a religious survey for Campus Crusade for Christ Ministry, now called CRU Ministry, and to share the good news of salvation with me. God used her to plant the seed of God's Word in my heart which caused me to examine my faith for the first time in my life.

Job said, The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 14:5 NIV). God's ways are higher than our ways (Isa. 55:9). Romans 8:28 (NIV) comforted me: And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Not everything that happens is good. However, things do not go well for those who have not come to saving faith in Christ, but all things work together for good for those who are faithful followers of Christ. Each one of us must be able to answer the question, If we died tonight, where would we spend eternity? Nancy, a true daughter of the King, was in heaven. Nevertheless, I wondered, Why did God take Nancy at this significant time in her life? Why did He take someone so young and dedicated to Christ?

In her freshman year, Nancy had met Terry Thomas at a Campus Crusade for Christ Conference at Arrowhead Springs, California. Terry was on the staff of Campus Crusade for Christ, a campus ministry to collegians across the US. Terry and Nancy not only came to know Christ as their Lord and Savior but were eager to go back to their college campus and lead others to Christ.

Nancy was a strong Christian girl with a bubbly, peppy personality who had a compassionate heart for others regardless of their background and made friends easily. Excited to reach students, after several months of prayer, she started Campus Crusade for Christ Fellowship on our campus. Occasionally, she invited a visiting speaker from another college to share his Christian testimony. Aware of the trials and temptations college students face, she was eager for them to realize that it was not a religion but a personal relationship with God that they really needed. In her effort to contact students door-to-door, she visited me at my dorm. Trying to make sense out of life, I felt lonely and lost. I didn't know that Jesus actually called a person without God lost. I later learned that God allows people to get lost to find that their true identity, their real life, is in His Son, Jesus Christ. Christ said to Zaccheus, who was hiding out, For the Son of God has come to seek and save that which was lost (Luke 19:10 NKJV). She explained to me how she had come to find real peace and purpose in her life through a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except by Me (John 14:6 NIV). Because she took the initiative to unashamedly share God's way of salvation with me, I came to know Christ as my Lord and Savior in the spring of my sophomore year.

People don't care what you know until they know that you care. Knowing this truism, Nancy made periodic visits to the dorms. She asked me to go with her to visit a girl who had struggled with thoughts of suicide. This girl had had a sexual affair; the broken relationship left her in despair. I explained God's plan of salvation to her. I explained to her that God loved her more than any man ever could. I told her that turning from an unholy life of sin and trusting Christ as her Savior was not only the key to knowing God but the way to eternal life and a whole new life. Jesus said, The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10 NIV). God convicted her heart of sin, and she confessed it and called out to Christ to reign as Lord of her life. He healed her heart. Psalm 147:3 (NIV) says, He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Seeing God heal her pain and bring about real change inspired me to let my life count for eternal gain. I knew that I must follow in Nancy's tracks to make a spiritual impact.

Reflecting back, Nancy accomplished more for Christ in four years of college than most Christians achieve in a year. Like Ralph Waldo Emerson said, It is not the length of life, but the depth of life. Later, I was comforted with this verse: When David had served God's purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep (Acts 13:36 NIV).

Suffering and death are two of the most difficult experiences to reconcile with God, but I knew God allowed death for reasons beyond my understanding. Nancy's husband, Terry, wrote the journey of their courtship in his book At Least We Were Married and went on to seminary to become a pastor. In this case, it was God's wake-up call for me to become more serious about life. As I struggled in prayer throughout the week, I sensed God dealing with me about not wasting my life but letting it count for eternity. I asked myself, What am I doing with my life? After hearing the tragic news, at the age of twenty-two, I became serious about living for Christ from that day on. Someone once said, Some people watch things happen, some people make things happen, and some people just wonder what happened. Nancy had made a lasting impact on my life. I changed from being a carefree Christian girl to one who wanted to make a spiritual impact in this world.

When I graduated from college, I dated various bachelors during the Mardi Gras season. I happened to date a Christian doctor from Birmingham, Alabama, who was doing his residency in my hometown, Mobile, Alabama. He was just a good friend who escorted me to debut parties on the weekends. At that time, I was busy teaching English and psychology at a public school. I attended a local church where I grew up. The gospel of salvation was not preached there, and there was no Bible study for singles. I told this friend that I was thirsty to learn God's Word and was empty as a dry well. I told him I needed a change from the party life that was consuming me. He challenged me to move to Birmingham, Alabama. He said there was a wonderful church there called Briarwood Presbyterian Church that was fast-growing which offered Bible classes and fellowship for all ages. I decided to visit there one weekend.

When I walked into the church, everyone carried a Bible. People were friendly and so enthusiastic about serving Christ. Their spirit was contagious. I fell in love with the church; the pastor, Frank Barker; his vivacious wife, Barbara; and the many friendly people. As I prayed, God gave me peace to move to Birmingham, Alabama. My parents approved. A girl who had an apartment offered me a place to stay with reasonable rent. I obtained a temporary job doing case work for a psychiatrist who was a medical friend of my older brother. Later, I worked a year as an assistant program director at Girl's Club of Birmingham.

One night at church, a visiting pastor was speaking on the victorious Christian life. He challenged the audience to surrender their lives to the ministry God had planned for them. Jesus said, Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies, it produces much fruit (John 12:24 NAS). I needed to die to myself. At age twenty-five, like many singles, I was seeking a husband rather than a ministry. Many singles get caught up in the rat race of pursuing a mate instead of trusting God to bring them the person He has designed for them. Like many singles, I didn't want to fall for Satan's lie that you must put your life on hold until you meet Mr. Right. Convicted, I prayed, Lord, I surrender my life to follow You. Use me for the furtherance of Your kingdom. Reveal to me what I need to do. If You have a mate for me, bring us together in Your time. Regardless of whether or not you have a husband in mind, help me not to waste my time but to run the race You have planned for me. Satisfy me with Your love and guide me with Your sovereign hand to follow Your plan. I had dated Christian guys who were educated and uneducated, prominent and unknown, and rich and poor. I thought I would eventually marry, but none of them were God's will for me. God continued to reveal to me that He had more for me to do to further His kingdom. Later in life, God spoke to me through this verse: Sing barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband (Isa. 54:1 NIV).

As a young Christian, I had no idea of the cost of being a disciple of Christ, but I wanted to do something of eternal value that would outlast my life. I began to take seriously these words of the apostle Paul: An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord (1 Cor. 7:32, 34–35 NIV).

As I stepped out in faith, God taught me that His grace is sufficient. At this point in my life, I sensed the Holy Spirit calling and prompting me to fulfill the plan God had laid out for me. Psalm 139:16 (NKJV) states, Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed; and in Your book they all were written, the days were fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. As I grew in my faith, God led me to open my apartment for a singles' Bible study led by a man named Howard Borland who was a winsome witness for Christ and a popular Bible teacher at my church. His wife, Dixie, was a joy to know. Later, two single Christian brothers were inspired to lead Bible studies for singles at a clubhouse in an apartment complex and later at a Christian couple's home. Many singles were converted to Christ during those seven years. Some met God's chosen mate. God challenged me even more to make a difference for Christ.

Later, I met a man named Wales Goebel, an evangelist who had a full-time ministry in Birmingham, Alabama. Seeing that I was ministry-minded, he invited me to join his staff. While working there, I started a monthly evangelistic outreach to young single women called GALS (Get-a-Look-at-the-Savior). I held these monthly meetings at the home of the Stegalls, a godly couple who had dedicated their home to Christ as a place of ministry. Concerned for the salvation of young women, they were completely supportive of my efforts. During this time, I was mentored by an older Christian woman who led a Bible study for single girls in her home. In addition, the Navigators, who had an established discipleship ministry in my apartment complex, invited me to their discipleship classes. Our leader required that we looked up the Scriptures in each lesson weekly so that we were ready to discuss ways to apply them. Our fellowship was always deep, not shallow. A leader shared these words of Christ which made a lasting impression on me: You did not choose Me but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last (John 15:16 NIV). So I taught a weekly Bible study to groups of single girls at my apartment for a few years. Sometimes, I taught just one girl.

Some girls in my Bible class started challenging me to write a guidebook for single women. I felt totally inadequate to write a book, so I prayed about the task. God spoke to me through Habakkuk 2:2 (NIV): Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it. God told me to get started and He would give me the grace to complete the assignment. At this time, I began my first attempt at writing a discipleship book for single women. About two years later, my dad became very ill. I moved back to Mobile.

A Christian friend told me that Campus Crusade for Christ, now called CRU Ministry, was having their annual KC'83 Conference for college students. He thought that I should go. He paid for all my expenses. At that conference, I was blessed to hear a renowned speaker and writer named Elisabeth Elliot. Her closing question to the audience was, Is what you are living for worth Christ dying for? Her question pierced my heart like a dagger. I became serious about redeeming my time instead of wasting it. I surrendered my will to do God's will in faith. I began writing books for teens and singles. At this time, God had not revealed to me that it would be a lifelong mission.

Knowing I needed a job as well as time to write, God led me to get a master's degree in special education at the University of South Alabama. By teaching small classes, I would have more time to write. Soon, I began teaching at a public middle school. God led me to establish the Sonrise Bible Club, which met in the morning for Bible reading and prayer for about twelve years. A number of students came to saving faith in Christ. Some students said it was the only church they knew. During this time, I self-published The King's Daughter first and later, Life That Lasts, Life That's Best and Love That Lasts for Singles.

Hearing that Cottage Hill Baptist Church had a singles ministry, I joined the church, served on the bus ministry and prayer ministry, and led small disciple groups for young women. I looked forward to hearing Pastor Fred Wolfe's sermons and taking notes. He was gifted in presenting the gospel in many unique ways and presenting the victorious Christian life in a practical way anyone of any age could understand. Multitudes of people came to saving faith in Christ. In his prayer group, we prayed about everything regardless of whether it was an illness, someone's salvation, a needed job, or a lost dog. After Pastor Fred Wolfe left Cottage Hill Baptist Church to be a traveling preacher, God directed me to attend Christ Fellowship Baptist Church where Pastor Steven Lawson was preaching. He has an unusual spiritual gift of teaching verse by verse. This opportunity for spiritual growth was one of the most cherished experiences of my life. I knew basic doctrines of the Christian faith, but I needed to grow deeper in Christ.

During this time, I started incurring some arthritic problems. My doctor told me to be able to be active and minister to others, I needed to have both knees and both hips replaced. God told me I was going to be able to walk without limping but going through the recovery process of four operations was a test of faith. Later, God revealed to me that He wanted me to spend more time alone with Him to read His Word and to write. I retired from teaching and decided to substitute in public and private schools so I could recover as well as write. At this time, I wrote From a Daughter in Disguise to a Daughter in His Eyes, which has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life because I have had to address certain controversial issues in a culture that is calling good evil and evil good. I have written this book with much prayer because I will receive a stricter judgment (James 3:1).

All the wonderful people and the unique experiences of my past were not coincidences. They were orchestrated by God as His backdrop for my life, which set the stage for my conversion to Christ as well as my ministry and writing career. I was able to collect stories and Christian testimonies and gather content in ways I had never imagined for young women.

Looking back at Nancy's impact on my life, I recalled C.T. Studd's saying on the wall of my condo, which has been a reminder not to waste my life: This one life will soon be past; only what's done for Christ will last. Upon finishing this book, I happened to read Secure in the Everlasting Arms by Elizabeth Elliot. She gave this wise advice to young singles:

As single people we must be willing to offer these younger years of ours to the Lord, not waiting for our life circumstances to change. We may be more free now than we will ever be in active service for God. If He chooses to have us married some day that is His business. Ours is to look to Him and serve Him now. He can use our youth to reach an increasingly more spiritually needy teenage and preteen world.⁵

There have been times when I have been lonely. I smiled on the outside but hurt on the inside. Yet God has filled that void in unexpected ways. A verse I have prayed is Psalm 90:14 (NIV): O satisfy us (me) with Your unfailing love that I may sing for joy and be glad in Your days. God has blessed me with parents who have inspired me to make a difference with my life, two brothers and two sisters who have been good to me, nieces and nephews to enjoy, Christian brothers and sisters who have provided rich fellowship and fun, friends as prayer partners, and schoolkids to give me hugs when I needed them. God made us to enjoy meaningful relationships, but He has made us ultimately for a love relationship with Him. You can't know God experientially until you have a relationship with Him. Many young women who have not ever known God's love are pursuing love in a man. Human love is frail, and it will fail you. But God's love will always prevail. His love will never let you go. Lamentations 3:22–23 (NIV) says, "Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. If you seek God first and His chosen plan for your life and if He has a man, His man will be in His plan. Satan will tell you that God has no idea of what plan or person would be best for you. Psalm 84:11 (NIV) is a sure promise if you decide to trust Christ as your personal Savior and walk in His ways: No good thing will God withhold from him who walks up rightly. God said through Jeremiah, ‘For I know the plans I have for you,' declares Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call on Me and come and pray to Me and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart' (Jer. 29:11–13 NIV). Elisabeth Elliot said, It is God to whom and with whom we travel, and while He is the end of our journey, He is also at every stopping place.⁶

Many young women spend time in frivolous activities and pursuits that offer no lasting fulfillment. Others spent idle time pursuing men instead of trusting God to bring them their chosen mate. Others try to find satisfaction by devoting themselves to their job, sports, or a hobby. None of these avenues will bring you continual contentment. Many think God is a killjoy. Pastor Steve Lawson once said, To know Christ is life's greatest joy, to follow Him is our greatest pursuit, and to glorify Him is our greatest goal.⁷ If you are prayerfully seeking meaning in your life, God will meet this need when you come to saving faith in Christ. Jesus said, The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill and to destroy but I have come that they may have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:9–10 NKJV). Psalm 37:4 (NIV) promises, Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. As you begin your journey of knowing God personally, following Christ daily, reading His Word faithfully, attending a Bible-based church weekly, and seeking His will prayerfully, God will unfold His plan designed just for you and meet your needs beyond your highest dreams.

The author with her nephew David Bell and her public school students

Women Who Took a Risk

Understanding Salvation

Assurance of Eternal Security

Our New Life in Christ

Inner and Outer Beauty

Getting to Know God Personally

Quality Relationships

Chapter 2

He Came to Me

(My Spiritual Journey to Know Christ)

From my birth through my college years, God was preparing me to make a difference with my life for Christ. My heavenly Father, Who knows the end from the beginning, used various people, places, events, and experiences to accomplish His purpose for my life to glorify Him. Psalm 139:16 (NIV) says, All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

I grew up in a home of loving parents and adored both of them. I had everything a girl would want so that I seemed happy on the outside, but I was not always happy on the inside. It was not until college that I realized the living Christ was the person I desperately needed to know. I was taught at church that there was a God Who created this universe, but I never felt connected to Him. It was due to my sinful condition which I was unaware of. The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it (Jer. 17:9 NKJV)? Through a series of events which I will share, God drew me to Himself. When I was not really seeking God, He was seeking me. He came to me when I could not and would not come to Him. Some of you may have been raised in a good home with upstanding parents, and some of you may have been raised in a home where one or both parents were unfit. You may have faced a series of trials and tragedies that you did not expect. Nevertheless, God uses all these experiences we face to either bring us eventually to saving faith in Christ or closer to Christ. For those who reject Christ, nothing good is promised to them but a downhill existence to destruction and death. Proverbs 14:12 (NIV) says, There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end, it leads to death. When we come to saving faith in Christ, God works both the good and the bad for the believer's ultimate good. Romans 8:28 (NIV) promises, And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, and who have been called according to His purpose.

My Family Upbringing

My Father

My father, John Mac Bell, born in 1891, grew up in the small town of Louisville, Alabama. At age twenty-two, my father desired to be a doctor. In 1913, he moved to Mobile to enroll in the Medical College of the University of Alabama, which only required two years of teaching and training. After World War 1 began, he enrolled as a lieutenant in the Medical Corps of the US Army. While stationed in the army, he married Annie Pet Powell from Eufaula, Alabama, after she graduated from Wesleyan College in Macon, Georgia. He was twenty-five, and she was age twenty-one. After the war, he specialized in pediatrics at Harvard Medical School for a year. In 1923, he and his wife settled in Mobile, Alabama, where he began practicing pediatrics for fifty-three years. Since he was the first baby doctor to settle in Mobile, anxious mothers called our house day and night.

After ten years of marriage, my father's former wife died. My father, age forty-two, was a widower with a ten-year-old girl Emily and two teens—Jean, age seventeen, and Mac, age fifteen. Knowing my father needed help in raising the children, their maternal grandmother came to live with them. Because my father wanted to enroll his oldest daughter in Wesleyan, he requested that the college send a recruiting agent to Mobile. The college sent my mother as a representative. Having been a single parent for ten years, my father asked my mother to be his wife on their third date. She accepted the proposal. Although she was only twenty-six, she rose to the task; her servant heart made it last.

Twelve years later, I was born. Having waited so long for a child, they gave me undivided attention. While my father was busy tending to patients, my mother, a stay-at-home mom, was caring for me and his children and later, my brother William. Their life communicated to me that God's purpose for placing me here was to serve our fellow man. They instilled this philanthropic spirit in me at an early age.

My dad was an affectionate father and baby doctor who loved treating children from every station of life. He was either busy at his office or making house calls after dark. He even comforted widows, counseled single mothers, and cared for crippled children who were homebound. I remember my father taking a gallon of ice cream to play checkers with a young boy who was dying of cancer. A penicillin shot, milk of magnesia, or cod liver oil was given to anyone sick. Children got well rather quickly. If a family could not pay their bill, he would accept a batch of collard greens, a gallon of oysters, or homemade jam.

Because his patients idolized him, he thought of himself as a good person. If a child got sick, they got well rather quickly. He thought his good works would get him through the gates of heaven. After I became a Christian, I asked my dad, If you died tonight, where would you spend eternity? He said in a self-righteous manner, I am fine. Don't worry about me. I explained to him that the Bible says, There is no one who does good, not even one (Rom. 3:10 NIV). Our sin separates us from God and eternal life in heaven. Christ died in our place to give us the gift of eternal life and a new life.

My father's mother died when he was age five. My aunt who loved Jesus raised him and took him to church. In his college yearbook, his roommate wrote this caption under his picture, Likes the boys fine, but loves the girls. He has made the right choice. He goes to church on Sunday and has secured a Bible which he handles with affectionate care. God was preparing my father's heart to know Him, but he did not have a personal relationship with Him through Christ. As I prayed for his salvation, he began attending a Sunday school class led by a medical friend. Two friends faithfully witnessed to him. One day, I read to him a little gospel booklet called Steps to Peace with God by Billy Graham Ministries. God used these scriptures and our conversations to convict him of his sin. At age eighty-five, he told me that he had confessed his sins and trusted in Christ to be his Lord and Savior. My father, who was easily agitated and angered at times, experienced the peace of Christ within. I saw a change in him. He started admitting his faults to my mother and asked forgiveness for his mistakes.

My Mother

My mother, Winifred Stiles Bell, was a stay-at-home mom who cooked meals daily, kept the house clean, and helped me with my homework throughout my teens. When she was not answering patients' phone calls, she was taking me shopping at the mall, raising funds for our new church building, or carpooling us to the skating rink or Girl Scouts. Because she was instrumental in getting a new church started in the growing outskirts of Mobile, she was always inviting friends and strangers to attend church.

My mother was one of the most dedicated women toward a cause whom I've ever known. From sunup to sundown, she was full of energy and enthusiasm with a desire to improve the world around her. Her vivacious attitude was contagious, inspiring others to join her bandwagon. She was involved in church activities, political campaigns, civic clubs. She always said to me, Brighten the corner where you are!

When she was a very young girl, she prayed a sinner's prayer for salvation with my great-grandfather who was a traveling preacher and schoolteacher. However, like many church members, she was trusting in her good works for her salvation and never was sure of her eternal destination in heaven. She did not realize that salvation is a gift of God's grace—His undeserved favor. None of us can earn salvation by our good works, upstanding reputation, our denominational membership, church service, baptism, or weekly confession. Salvation involves renouncing (giving up) our self-efforts, repenting (turning away from sin and a self-controlled lifestyle), and surrendering to Christ as our Lord and Savior. Ephesians 2:8–9 (NIV) says, For it is by grace you are saved by faith; this is not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast.

One Sunday, she happened to listen to a sermon by a preacher on TV. On Monday, she called me to come by after school because she had something important to tell me. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she said, I now understand what Jesus meant when He said we ‘must be born again to see the kingdom of God' (John 3:3 NIV). She realized she must be spiritually reborn by repenting and receiving the Spirit of God into her heart as Lord and Savior. She discovered that salvation is not a matter of just public profession but divine possession. Romans 8:9 (NIV) says, If anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. From that day on, my mother had the new Spirit of Christ dwelling within and a deep peace.

My Childhood

From the time I was born, my mother enrolled me in the church nursery. When I was an infant, she dedicated me to the Lord at the altar. Rocking me, she often sang children's songs as Jesus Loves Me and read Bible stories to me until I learned to read. I only knew Jesus as a historical figure and a good moral teacher. By age six, I knew most of the Ten Commandments and could recite the Twenty-third Psalm and the Lord's Prayer. Attending Sunday school and church was a regular habit. At age twelve, I joined the church because it was the right thing to do. As far as knowing the living God, I didn't have a clue.

As a child, I only knew God as a remote Creator and not as a real person. Except for the blessing at meals, reading the Bible and praying were not a daily custom in my home. Time was usually spent listening to the TV or the radio or talking to patients on the phone rather than setting aside family time to approach God's throne. Because my parents were both headstrong, they often argued about who was right or wrong until one gave in to get along. As a result, my home was not always a peaceful overtone. Satan knew how to turn the heat on.

My Teens

Looking back at my teens, although I seemed secure on the outside, I was insecure on the inside. In the seventh grade, my parents enrolled me at Julius T. Wright School for Girls. I was always trying to prove myself by striving to make good grades. I stayed behind in reading and math, so I had to work extra hard to pass. Proving to my parents and friends that I could excel was a big deal. I tried to prove I was smart, but I felt so dumb down in my heart. I wasn't boy crazy as a rule. My hormones had not reached full bloom, but those boy-crazy feelings would be budding soon.

I ran around with an exclusive group of girlfriends. Although we were not into sex, alcohol, or drugs, some of us could be mean, smart aleck, snobbish, and smug. At times, some of us made cutting remarks about girls who weren't in our group. With one ugly word, we could destroy the reputation of anyone who was not a virgin. Moral values based on God's Word were instilled in us by our parents. When I was in high school, it was a shame if you were not a virgin; today, it's a shame if you are.

During my middle school and high school years, we socialized with boys in groups. In my freshman year, I was rushed to join a sorority of socially elite girls. I thought I was a step above everyone else. Sorority meetings and charity work became a priority. Our parents burned candles at both ends carpooling us to sorority meetings, slumber parties (girls only), football games, and sorority and fraternity dances.

Occasionally, our parents let us have parties at home with our friends. We played Checkers, Bridge, UNO, and Spades. No one got into trouble as